Sexuary 2024 - Electric Play

 Now electric play isn't new to us either, but over the years I've picked up several TENS units and some additional attachments that we'd never used.  So before Jackie came in I prepared the room pulling out the violet wand and several TENS units with attachments.  

I had a Wartenberg wheel, with a electric component to it (you attach an electric pad to the body for the circuit).  

I also had a set of nipple claps that create a circuit.  I tried them on myself, and at a 3 out of 20, they were pretty intense.  So wasn't going to be cranking those up. For reference, it's always best to try things on yourself before ever trying them on someone else.  You should know what they are going to feel, and know what to expect before they are in a sub space and something brings them out. 

I also set up the violet wand and had everything ready.  I brought Jackie into the room blind folded and put her on our chaise lounge, which is covered in a white fur we got for Sexuary 2024.  

I started with the Wartenberg wheel, and got the blood flowing several places, her thighs, her breast, her belly, and her sides all had the sting of the wheel and the buzz of electricity running through it. 

I then started with the violet wand with the U attachment.  this I ran around her breast, over her belly and so forth.  When I switched to the comb, I put on the nipple clamps and started with some low voltage.  I then started with the comb and varied the voltage on the nipples.  At 3 I noted she had gotten a bit intense so after a bit there I turned off the TENS unit. 

Now here is where a mental game comes in.  I continued with the violet wand and then turned the nipple clamps back on at a 1.  Jackie jumped and tears started streaming.  I asked her if she was "red" and she nodded yes.  I quickly removed everything.  In her mind she heard me click up to 3, and down the three, but up and downs don't sound different, so she thought she was at least at 6, and then when I turned it back on had gone up again.  Mentally we were at least at a 7 or better.  Let me tell you the mind is more powerful than anything we could do, even it it's not reality, if your brain is there, it's as good as happening. So that ended our session. 

On a side note, I admonished Jackie for not calling "red" herself.  The trust in these situations is the Top will protect the bottom, and in this case I did, but part of that is the trust the bottom will also let the Top know when they are in a bad place.  I get Jackie explained she was trying to work through it, but I could tell she wasn't going to, so I called it.  

If you're the Top and you don't protect your bottom, that's abuse.  Now mind you there are different tolerances for everyone, and what Jackie enjoys would be abuse to someone else, and others might have been just fine with the nipple shock.  That's why communication, and knowing your bottom is so important.  Remembering the number 1 job of any Top/Dom is the safety of the bottom/sub.  There is nothing more important!

So tonight, wasn't necessarily a win, but next time we break out Jackie will know that the clicking isn't always as relevant as she did this time. And she'll be receptive because I took care of her. 

Dane

Sexuary 2021 - Sensations

 If you've read through our blog you know this is a favorite for Jackie and I.  It's taking things in your house, and/or that you've collected and use them on your blindfolded partner.  The sensation of heat, cold, hard, soft, wet, dry, pain, and pleasure all in one session. In preparation  I put a couple of towels on the bed and pulled out all the supplies I'd use tonight.

So I started the night by really working Jackie up, kissing and rubbing all over her.  One of the best aphrodisiacs out there is touch...and lots of it. After I got Jackie all wound up I put a blindfold on her and put cuffs on her after I moved her to the middle of the bed. 

Her favorite cover was tossed over her and I gently pulled it down to her feet.  The softness of this blanket can send chills down your body.  It was the first of the sensations. 

Next came fire.  As I lit one of my fire sticks I then gently rolled it over Jackies body over and over again.  I whip it around some areas, running it back and forth. I walked to the other side of the bed when Jackie "ouched...something bit me on the ankle." I looked down and one of the towels had an alcohol burn running by her leg.  I quickly put out the fire on the towel.  Just goes to show you when play with fire, you must at all times be careful and prepared.  I continued with the fire till I was done and Jackie had a warmth all over her skin. 

A small flogger made Jackie jump as I gently slashed it against her legs, belly and bottom of her feet.  

I took Jackies nipple clamps and started to place them on her. In the past I've put them on and then tighten them down all the way. Today, fully opened Jackie was pulling on her ropes and acting like I ws pulling her nipples off. The only thing we can think of is now she's had her nipples pierced and that's caused a different sensation for her. 

I took clothespins and  put them on her labia and left them there.  I put a 3rd on the one nipple that I couldn't get the clamp to stay on. 

Next was the violet wand and wartenberg wheel.  The shock of the wand and then the needles of the wheel add to the sensations over her body. 

I slowly pulled the clothespins and nipple clamp off of Jackie and watched as she felt the blood rush back to those parts. You could hear her sucking air as each one was removed 

A little cornstarch for smoothness over her body came next. 

I brought her to mutliple orgasm using her bodywand vibrator then I climbed on her and brought her to more.  

We laid there, me gently rubbing on her after we were finished up. It was a great night and another great Sexuary night. 

Sensation, especially when heighten by blindfolding and tied up, can be very erotic and very sensual.  Might be something you'd like to try with your significant other. 

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Sensation

So Sexuary 2019 started off with the worst day I've had in a long time.  From 6 am in the morning till 8 pm when we shut the bedroom door it seemed like the world was against me. And yet, the 1 thing that kept me from curling into a ball and just crying was the fact that today was the start of Sexuary and no matter what things would happen.  Sanity was maintained this way.

So on our calendar was Sensations for Jackie.  This is an oldie but goodie that we don't bring out very often, yet Jackie really does like it. It takes some patience, and a little bit of planning, but the rewards can be outstanding. 

So I prepared by getting different sensations together. We have a soft blanket we bought for this years ago, a rabbit fur we got from Tandy Leather for a few bucks, a bottle of oils, corn starch, some nipple claps, a paddle we have that has a smooth and rough side, a bucket of ice, a blindfold, and some Japanese rope secured to the headboard and some candles. I searched "romantic" on Pandora and hit play. 

With the blindfold on I caressed Jackie with each of these items.  With the nipple clamps on I used both ice and wax on her. I caressed every inch of her body with the rabbits pelt.  The blanket was run over her several times, and when I was working up top, it was used to keep her warm below. The oils smell good and the corn starch makes your fingers feel soft as you run them over your partners body. 

By the time we got to the sex, Jackie was very ready.  Thinking about it I should of had something for her to eat too.  I think I have in the past, but then I would of had all the senses (touch sight smell taste and sound).  I've never played music while doing this before and it had some unexpected side effects.  When you engage all the senses like that it can be a lot and hopefully can make your experience that much better.

All in all it was a great start to Sexuary....how about you? Anything? Any plans? Anything to make this month better with your partner than what's been happening? I just gave you a list of ideas that are easy to put together in any household.  Improvise with your surroundings, but there is plenty around you that could be used to turn an ordinary night into an extraordinary night.

Dane

Sexuary 2018 - Being Tied Up

So life kind of got in the way of Sexuay 2018.  We'd gone through 4 months of family issues and weren't able to celebrate like we normally do.  But that doesn't mean we won't try to do something later this year for a couple of weeks or a month.  It also doesn't mean that we haven't had some fun in the mean time pushing limits again.

In the past I've done some light tying up and BDsm.  We've played with cuffs that Velcro to sheets, and Japanese ropes to tie her hands, but to give full trust like this is something new for Jackie.  This weekend Jackie gave me permission to go all out and no limits with the rope, something that has literally been 2 decades since I've had that opportunity and I wasted no time getting excited and start planning.  New rope was purchased and the blood was flowing. Jackie was very apprehensive.

When we started it was almost a bit comical.  My rope skills have definitely slacked over the years.  I couldn't get anything to stay tight.  After a couple of attempts though things started to tighten up and stay in place.  Her breast were tied tight with nipple clamps placed on her nipples. Then her arms were tied behind her back, all while on her knees and blind folded.  She was a beautiful site.  A trusting wife who went well beyond her boundaries and learned she had a new limit.
 

Ok, so my rope work still has lots to be desired, but you have to admit she is beautiful all tied up like this.  When we were finished we took a break, I rubbed her shoulder and we just relaxed.  I'll fill you in on more of our weekend adventure soon.  But what did it take?  I purchased some 3/16" rope that was nice and soft (100 ft) and a willing partner.  That's it. 

So I've heard it time and again about BDsm and its' many subcategories that's it's just about abuse.  While it could be without 2 loving, trusting people, it's far from it when done the right way. BDsm is about bringing 2 people closer.  The trust between 2 people to perform this type of act is incredible. The literally "giving of oneself" is giving everything can only brings you closer when done right.  The accepting that gift and taking on that responsibility opens up parts that just doesn't happen in ordinary sexual relationships.  It took a lot for Jackie to open up and allow me to tie her up like that.  But she's come a long way over the years where just tying up her her hands was a push for her.  Me? I'll have to make sure I didn't break that trust in any way. You have to know your partner and their deepest fears and joys.  In my case, I made sure her hands were the last to be tied making it easier on her.

From here? I've already remembered some of the things I didn't do right that would of made the ties better.  I will probably do a bit of research making sure that next time the comical side of our encounter doesn't happen again.  Also we talked about a couple of things that would make it more enjoyable for both of us.  We didn't get to 'celebrate Sexuary 2018', we definitely had a Sexuary type weekend (so yeah, more to come).  

Dane

Sexuary 2016 - Ben Wa Balls

Jackie and I have started out Sexuary 2016 with a big bang..and bang again...and well you get the picture, we're celebrating our sexuality and reminding ourselves that sex has to be one of those priorities in our relationship.  Let's face it life gets in the way all the time and if we allow it, before we know it the only time we use the bed is when we drag our tired asses into it to sleep.  Work, kids, stress, and money all seem to zap us of our energy and we forget that the closeness of a good sex life will actually energize us both physically and emotionally to make it through all those hard times.

This is actually Jackies and my 5th year to celebrate Sexuary!!! We'd been struggling at least in part because of some medical issues with Jackie and after she was feeling back on track we got on board with Christine Moers on her welcometomybrain.net.  And while she's no longer blogging on there, there is still a lot of good, honest and open information on honest and real sex questions along with a lot of life issues we all face.  But back to Jackie and I.  So 5 years ago we took the challenge to do something above and beyond what we normally do.  Maybe something that made us a bit uncomfortable in trying it, but to do it.  So we weren't the bravest, but we strove to have sex 7 days in a row.  Easy right? Yeah, not so much.  We still were lacking our communication skills and just real frankly it didn't happen.  A mere 7 days couldn't be achieved.  Year 3 was our first year to decide WE WERE GOING TO DO THIS!!!! After literally months of working together (and lots of fun in discussions) we put together "The Calendar".  It was a 28 day calendar with some different kink we either wanted to try, or might be interested in, or something we just didn't do regularly.

So what did we learn?  We learned to communicate more than we ever have.  We found out that some kinks aren't for the 2 of us.  We found we REALLY liked some others.  We found that 28 days in a row was an incredibly difficult task, but it could be done (remember all those outside factors listed above, well they didn't slack off just because we left them off the calendar).  Will we ever do it again? I don't know, but we have made it a tradition that Sexuary is a time for us to reignite our sex life and do a systems check on our relationship.  And this blog?  Well this blog was to show that men and women like you, that's ordinary next door neighbors have some of the same issues you have.  That we miscommunicate and it causes problems.  That we want to try stuff and sometimes are a bit scared of even attempting it.  That sometimes it just doesn't go anything like you'd hoped or planned.  And then there are those times that it's over the top great and you wonder why you didn't try it before!  But we're not porn stars.  We're not strippers or anything in the sex field, we're a manager and a business owner who have dreams and have been tempted to try some of the things we've read about, seen or heard about over the years.  Again, the couple next door you just didn't know was into trying anything that comes their way.

So this year, 2016, we have taken our calendar and put 15 dates down on it.  That's every other day and an extra for Valentines day.  We've put down some of our favorite things that take a little effort and spread them over the calendar this year.

Some of it might sound mundane, but it's the fact we're doing SOMETHING to make sure our sex life doesn't go stale and whither away.  And as always we're flexible if something comes up to make sure we get the most out of it all.

In our case since Jackie has started running so on Wednesday she was rather sore and so we swapped Wednesday for Friday.  But Friday is what I wanted to talk about some.  This Friday was Jackies turn to be the center of attention if  you will.  Tied up and blindfolded and different sensations from hands, cloths, metal clamps, silk, ropes and all.  It really sets Jackie off when we take the time to do all these things to her.  But yesterday I added  a new twist for her.  Ben Wa Balls.

So I've had these Ben Wa Balls for probably 40 years.  My (don't laugh) but my grandmother brought them back from Singapore and gave them to me (God bless grandma in all her ignorance of all things sexual).  They are decorative and fairly large (2").  They've sit in our toy drawer for lots of years now and never been used.  We changed that on Friday.  After lots of stimulation I lubed and inserted one in.  The second one had more issues and while it went in when it came out we left it out.  But even the one added new sensations for both of us.  While Jackie couldn't necessarily feel the one in her (she actually thought it was out) she could feel different sensations inside and from my perspective the drenching she gave me and the bed told me we definitely were on the right track.  Additionally I could feel the Ben Wa Ball massaging me when I was inside of her.  Definite win win for both of us and something we'll add in the future.

Ok, so the downside to these Ben Wa Balls?  Well as you can see there are no ropes or anything to help pull them out.  Now mind you they can't go anywhere that will harm or get stuck forever or anything, but it did take some serious effort on Jackies part to get the second one to come out.  So we might try some smaller ones (these were 2") or some with a rope between them that one of us can reach in and pull out.  

So now it's your turn.  Go do something to make this year, Sexuary 2016 better than your day to day relationship.  Make sure it's getting the nourishment it needs to not only survive, but to thrive!

Dane

Our Toy Chest

1 of the 2 drawers of toys we have

We've alluded to the fact we have some toys in our arsenal.  It's an ever growing toy chest.  Of course some break over time, but the good ones are quickly replaced, the ones not used just get chucked.  Of course Sexuary, was a good excuse to purchase a few more items for the toy chest, but we regularly look at new toys to have fun with.  .

Now I know that there are some guys that are intimidated by toys.  I guess they think if she got use to a dildo or a vibrator that she'll have no use for a fleshy cock any longer.  And yet every woman I've ever spoken to about this will tell you that a vibrator will only get you so far.  After a while they need a flesh and blood cock to really satisfy them.

So why do we bother with toys then?  Well when used right it will aid in making the experience even better.   They can help you 'pretend' you are doing things you might not want to experience with another person, like double penetration.  They can 'warm her up' when that might take a bit more effort than desired.  They can keep the mood while you slow down a bit.  I can think of two reasons to that woman have told me they like their clits vibrated while other things are being done.  Sometimes anal is easier if Jane is distracted and while being fisted the distraction makes it all easier.

We have remote control eggs.  That's right eggs.  You insert them (you pick the place) and the partner has the remote and turns it on at their will.  It can be fun to be at Outback and as you go to bite into that baby back rib that vibrator goes off.  It can make an interesting dinner.  After warming up like that who wouldn't have a sizzling time when they got home (hell, sometimes we can't even make it home).

We have paddles, whips, ropes, nipple clamps, and straps for the days we'd like to go down that road.  And while we're still experimenting with some of the limits and likes and dislikes we have the tools we need when we're in the mood.

We have various vibrators from $4 bullets to a $120 Bodywand.  We've had Rabbits and Beyond 2000's that have the multiple vibrations at the same time, one for inside and one for the clit. The harder it vibrates the happier Jackie is.

Dildos? Oh yeah, we have a variety of those too.  Glass, rubber, plastic are all in the toy chest to be played with. Little ones, and huge (fist size and bigger) ones all are in our drawer. No matter what mood we might be in we have the right size and material.  Oh you didn't know material could make a difference?  Take a glass one that can be cooled or heated to change the effect.  The rubber one that will bend and hit spots.  Yeah, material can really change up what's going on. 

We have butt plugs, anal beads, enema bags, and other anal oriented toys for both Jackie and myself.  I even surprised Jackie with "Ponytail" the other day when we were playing.  Jackie has acquired 2 strap-ons.  One just a nice dildo, and one a double sided vibrator so she gets pleasured as she is using it on me.  If the mood is there and you want to play a bit with an ass then we have the proper tools to do that.

Small vibrators that go on your fingers or tongue are also in our treasure chest.  Guys you want to give an extra kick as you're licking on her, have a small vibrator strapped to your tongue.  Both her nipples and clit will enjoy the extra stimulation.  Jackie might use the one wrapped around her fingers as she runs over my ass or as she runs her hand over my cock.

A TENS unit, Speculums, blind folds, gags, feathery boas, soft swatches of cloth, candles made for using on dripping, and of course bricks of batteries to keep everything going all fill the 2 drawer chest.

We have male masturbators.   Places to lube up and slide in and out of.  Sometimes it gives her a break.  Sometimes it's just to get me started.  Sometimes when she's gone it gives me something to do.  Over the years we've purchased vibrating ones, small ones, disposable ones.  There's always one or two in the drawer, even though they aren't used to often. 

Oh and lubes, we have lubes by the gallon.  Hot and spicy, flavored, synthetic, water based, oils, and more.  You need them for most of the toys, though you have to be careful as some of the rubber toys can be ruined by some of the lubes.

For those who have only one or heaven forbid no toys, we recommend you save a couple of bucks and start working on your collection.  We budget our toys like most budget their Starbucks. It's an important part for us so we save up so we can get what we want when we want them.  Maybe you're not into some of the things we like to play around with, that's ok, but surely you could use some extra stimulation on occasion.  What guy wouldn't want to walk into his gal with a vibrator thrashing on her clit and as he walks in she screams for him to get over there and finish her off.  Or to feel a second 'cock' as you slid in?

So I guess what I'm saying is while not everyone needs enough toys that need to be carried by a caravan of elephants like Jackie has, we both think that they have made a great improvement in our sex lives and how we play.  Want some suggestions then ask Jackie or I and we'll give you some ideas.  Have a question on a particular item then ask and we'll see if we know.

Most toy stores that we go to have 2 things that we like.  First of all the 'new style' store isn't a dark dingy place but a well lite place where other women work and are willing to recommend toys after finding out what you like.  They'll let you put in batteries and see how the toy works before you take it home and play.  Some vibrators just aren't worth a plug nickle, so best to know before you pay for them.  Second is that often times there is a 'ladies' or 'couples' day where you can get your toys at a discount.  If you're going to purchase a toy and can save 10% or 20% why wouldn't you?  And of course you can always shop online, but I highly recommend you find one with reviews before you purchase.

Got a particular toy you like best?  Let everyone know here in the comments.  I'll tell you Jackies favorite is her Bodywand.  She loves the punch that thing has and as long as I don't forget to recharge it (then her favorite toy is the paddle) after her second usage it keeps her going.  The new models will  let you plug in if the batteries dies though.  Me?  I'm kinda partial to the fist.  Not something we use every day, but oh my what a job it does.

Dane

Tattooing and Piercing

Ok, this one might be a bit more imagination than real.  We could go 2 ways on this.  We could order some henna tattoos and 'fake' percings.  I was thinking though we could be in Austin and go to some tattoo and piercing shops and who knows….but remember we have 13 more days to go. If we do go to town you can do the very slutty dressing up....you tell me what you want me to dress as. *** Ok since we've discussed it, we'll go to some shops, maybe some 'real tattoo' shops and some henna ones, and get tattoos.  I know you want a butterfly, what is your bad boy going to get? Help me out said the tattoo virgin.  We've ordered the hells gate, did you want some sort of piercings (fake or real)? Nipples? Clit?

Oh so many lines of thoughts going on here.

I guess I'll get the 'bad' news out of the way.  Our dreaded anticipated visitor finally made it.  No, not Auntie Flow, much worst, the yeast infection.  At 11 pm on Valentines Day I went to go get some cream for her.  I really feel bad for her.  I'm not sure a womans parts are made for the kind of abuse we've given it this month, and we're just barely over 1/2 way there.  So all day today off and on she's been fighting this battle.  We're hoping by tomorrow she'll be better, but past results haven't been so lucky.  I'm betting our weekend will be modified some to accommodate her current condition and then she'll get to the doctor. So with that in mind we made sure to give the first round of meds a chance and have no morning playing around.

So why Tattooing and Piercing?  First of all Jackie has several tattoos and I think if I let her would have many more.  Ok, let her isn't the right word, but in case you didn't know, nice tats cost serious dollars.  And the tattoo really has to just beg for Jackie to want it, so it's not like she's ready to put just anything on her body.  But she loves them.  She's said many times that one of the best orgasms she had was when she was getting her tramp stamp on her back.  There goes that pleasure pain thing again.  A needle poking you over and over again, piercing into you and you have an orgasm. Isn't the mind a great thing?

Additionally we've talked about a piercing for her clit and for my penis off and on for 5+ years I guess.  I'm not sure either of us will ever have one, but that's been the thought.

So there it goes on day 16 of the calendar.

In preparation we've ordered several new pieces of jewelry, all of them for  just a couple of dollars each.  Nothing was over $5 or $6 with the exception of a piece for me that was $12.  We ordered 2 or 3 sets of nipple rings that clamp on and have beads hanging down.  We ordered a clit clamp with beads on it.  We ordered a 'bull nose' nipple ring.  And last but not least for me we ordered a "Gates of Hell" cock ring set.  I think we've had as much fun trying on the new toys leading up to today as we would today.

Jackie has been almost obsessed with her nipples this month.  It's funny because normally she could care less one way or the other about them.  Ok, she doesn't want me to neglect them, but it's more my obsession than hers.  Not this month.  It's like all of her nerve endings have decided to reroute themselves and terminate in her breast.  Yeah for me!!!  Every time I look over she's putting on a nipple clamp and trying it on.  She spend an entire day looking online for new ones.  It's like she just discovered she has these things and they can feel good too.  Yeah for Sexuary and the discovery of new things.

As we were packing Jackie had me try to put on the 'bull ring' clamp. Not today.  They seriously pinch and after all the play she's had over the last 2 weeks her nipples couldn't handle it.  It really disappointed her though.

So we decided to get a hotel room (have I mentioned how much we love "hotel sex"? ) and check in for the weekend.  We gear up and head out knowing that only the 2 of us know we're wearing jewelry underneath our cloths. For the reason mentioned at the beginning of this Jackie decided to forgo the clit clamp for the night, but has promised me that she'd wear it another night after Sexuary was all over with.

So we go to eat and grab a booth.  Jackie excuses herself and when she comes back she whispers in my  ear that she removed her bra so the jewelry was now showing through her shirt.  Oh my.  What a turn on that was for me.  I asked her if she felt naughty knowing her nipples were clamped like that in public? I knew I did knowing my cock and balls were tightly packaged and encased.  She was really getting turned on and an adult version of strawberry lemonade didn't hurt the cause.

We got to talking about what the best experiences were so far, and maybe what could of been done differently on the ones that didn't go so well.  While we weren't talking loud or anything I got to wondering if the woman on the backside of the booth was wondering what the hell we were talking about.  I mean have you ever been sitting somewhere and you haven't heard a single word of a conversation but then the word 'penis' or 'pussy' or 'nipples' come up?  Our radar takes over and we have to listen now.  We kind of chuckled and hoped maybe she'd get into the Sexuary act that night with her man if she did hear our conversation.

After eating we found a tattoo parlor Jackie wanted to visit.  We found out earlier that the henna tattoo places all were by appointment only, so we missed out there.  It is a shame too, because I was ready to freak out our kids with a tattoo on Sunday. But we went in, looked around. Nothing seemed to really hit Jackie. But there is something about being 'bad' in those places.  The outside the box.  The other side of our every day lives when we go visit those.  I've taken Jackie several times to different parlors when we're in a big town just as foreplay.  Damn right it works every time.

So we headed back to the hotel to finish the night off.  It was different. It was fun.  It was harmless.  And most of all it was a turn on for both of us.  Oh and for the record Jackie is seriously thinking of getting her nipples pierced.  Now this is NOT prompting from me, but from her new found obsession with them.  We're going to wait a month or so though to see if she still feels that way or if it's just a Sexuary obsession. 

Oh did I mention that Jackies right nipple decided to get soft and drop her clamp in the Target parking lot?  We got a laugh out of that, especially as a mom was telling her young boy to 'just put it in your pocket' as we were looking for her lost nipple ring.  We still found the clamp in the parking lot, but we could just imagine if the boy had found it what his mom would explain that one away with.  Tweezers? lol

What have you done to create laughter and fun in your relationship this month?  Have you done anything 'bad' that would be oh so good for the two of you?  If so, good for you!  If not, why not? What are you waiting for?  Make it your goal today to do something to help you and your partner laugh and have fun in the bedroom.

Dane

Bad news...even with tons of Vitamin C, and multi-vitamins I now have a full blown yeast infection.  I am on round 2 of OTC remedies and so far, not much help.  I am still taking tons of VC and not helping as of yet. I do NOT want to cancel any plans, I am thinking we can still play, I don't want to change anything...(insert a cry and whimper here)

Yeah tattoo and piercing night! I love Tattoo's I have 4 already and Dane is right I would have a bunch more if they didn't cost so dang much! I am very select when it comes to tattoo.  I really think about the big picture...what is it that I am going to want to see for the rest of my life. Can it be covered easily if I ever go back to the work place? Right now a tall pair of socks or long pants and a shirt will cover all of mine.  I know I want a Butterfly...I went through a spiritual awakening over the last year and have felt like a Butterfly coming out of its shell, and I want a reminder..I also want a word,,but what word do I want to see on me forever...I have thought about a set of rings we own where the Bible book of Ruth is written out in  Hebrew...your God my God, where you go I will go etc...that is the theme of our lives..or does that fall into the "never put a guy or girls name on your body" list...uggg decisions decisions...what to decide.  So we went to a tattoo place spent about an hour looking through pictures, 1000+ of pictures, and never finding the "perfect" one.  The last one took me 4 tattoo places to finally find the right one.

Now its also piercing night.  We bought several "fake" piercings some just slide on the nipple and some clamp. I do not know why they excited me like they do but I swear there is a nerve that runs from my nipple to my clit that sends electricity down and around in my body.  Which is totally not like me, since my breast are not a usual turn on.  I could care less about having them sucked on or played with.  I know he likes it so I never say not to. So tonight as we went to supper I put on my rings.  Dane tells me after supper when we are going to Tattoo places NO BRA. I decided to surprise him and took it off in the bathroom at the resturant.  Now keep in mind, I am a 42DDDD so its very hard to let my boobs hang...I hate that they sag, and I want them up! So I am sitting in resturant and I have no bra, and I have my nipple clamps on.  The ones I like the most are twizzer type that have an adjustable ring  on them.  We made it all the way through dinner with both. Then we had to go to the store for more medicine...Was hoping another night with all the medicine and I would be better.  Well unknown to me as I stepped out of the car one of my nipple clamps has fallen off.  Went we into the store looking some different lubes, and I realise I have dropped one.  We back tracked through the store to see where I lost it.  Never found it, we walked out to car upset it was gone.  We walked by a family with 2 little boys, with the mom saying "Just put it in your pocket and leave it there" we chuckled and said well hopefully its NOT my nipple clip.  Well low and behold about 10 steps back there it was on the ground! Yeahhhhhhhh

I would like to say we came back to our hotel and had awesome hotel sex, but with my yeast infection that is a no go right now.  That's not to say we didn't enjoy ourselves, we did play but we just didn't have intercourse..

All in all it was great day, we had quality time together, we had great conversation over great food, and ended the night cuddled together.  Reminding each other that even after Sexuary is over we need to schedule in time for us.  Alone time and extra time to push our limits :)

Jackie

Vincilagnia (tied up), Blindfold, Nipple clamps, & feathery things on Jackie

Japaneese ropes, blind fold, feathers and nipple clamps to start.  Of course there will be dildos, fire (wax) or ice, or various other unrelenting actions while you're tied down. (done to Jackie)

So today was about sensations.  Either taking them away or enhancing them.  It was something we've done before (or similar) and I know it's something Jackie and I both enjoy.  This is not something that has to be a lot of expense to do.  A blindfold is about $4 - $5 if you look around.  A bucket of ice.  A candle.  A piece of rope (though we do have some alternatives for the rope), a feather, a silk shirt, whatever is around use it.

In our case we found a velco mattress cover, on clearance,  that you can strap someone down to the bed with.  In the past I've used ties that are out of style and I no longer wear, we have some Japanese ropes (very soft ropes that tie easily), and the tie to a robe.  It doesn't matter and honestly the knots don't have to be that great, it's the idea of a bit of restraint to take away their ability to just take control.

The blindfold is to take away an entire sense.  If you take away the sight it's like your skin becomes more sensitive and the anticipation of what is about to come heightens your senses.  If you don't have a blind fold, then use a towel or something to cover their eyes.

I had everything I wanted on the ironing board by the bed.  Then I met Jackie at the door and blindfolded her.  I removed her clothes and put on a silk kimono she had (again going for sensations and the silk on her skin).  I then strapped on the cuffs to her arms and ankles and walked her upstairs to be where I then strapped her to the velcro holders for our new sheets.

After that she let me have total control for an hour or so. My job was to set her over the top with sensations. A cheap piece of cloth we picked up a couple of weeks ago was used to drap over and slide over her body.  A boa to tickle her.  Wax from a candle dripped on her breast. Ice rubbed over her nipples.  Her nipple clamps we used both on her nipples and on her clit (something new she thought of and wanted to try). Then once I had her upper body over stimulated I used her glass dildo that I had been setting in ice on her, then one of her old favorites a Beyond 2000 (kind of like a Rabbit).

Ok, so we had a good time and she was extremely stimulated and just took her over the edge.  The new sheets got a great christening.  I then got to reap the benefits of that stimulation.  While it wasn't necessarily new to us, we did use several new props and it was several fetishes and a great time.

The piece of cloth was super soft so tingled as I dragged it over her body time and time again.  The boa was new and she liked that too.  The sheets were new, and we paid 1/2 price for those and they are worth at least that much.  We used the nipple clamp as a clit clamp which Jackie told me she loved.  All of these things to enhance what we've already done.

So what could you do to stimulate your partner?  Look around, you've got several things in your house that would work.  Plan something today that will either enhance sensations or take them away.  Either way you can have the time of your life.

I want to add here that last year we did 14+ days, every other day.  We alternated who was 'in-charge' of the day.  There were some great days, but honestly there were days we struggled to get through the act of the day, and by the end of the month both of us were out of ideas and it almost got to 'ok here we go, let's get this over with.'  This year we've planned every day out.  We've actually spent about $100 in props and things to aid us. Admittedly I've lavished Jackie with a drawer full of toys over the years so dildos and vibrators we have plenty of.  But we're on day 5 and I can honestly say I've looked forward to every day so far and we seem to be a lot more at ease.

Look I know sex can be spontaneous and a fantastic time that way.  I'm certain some of the best sex I've ever had was just spontaneous.  But we live in some pretty stressful environments, and then to have to 'preform' for our partner and always bring an A game spontaneously is a lot to ask for.  I'm thinking out loud here, but one of the things I think I'm seeing is that we not only need to make plans for (write it in our schedule) to have sex so that our partners know they are important enough that I'm not going to schedule anything during our special time, but that we actually should be planning WHAT we are wanting to do.  Make that 1/2 the fun of the sex, the planning.  I can't tell you how much fun Jackie and I had when were were planning for this month.  All anxiety aside about the quantity of sex and the pushing the limits, the planning and especially the preparing for this month was fantastic and some of the best spontaneous sex we've had came from that.

I think when the guys take that kind of time with their partners that they get to remembering how special you really think they are.  That we wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our partners that don't allow us to see so many of their flaws that we know are there, but don't give two flips about, just as they don't care about those flaws in us.  I don't know a guy in a decent relationship that doesn't consider their spouse sexy, and hot as hell. That we fantasize about doing lots of things to our partners that they may never know about because we're to afraid to tell them in fear of being judged.  But it's them we're fantasizing doing those things with.  Ok, we have the occasional "put your favorite movie star or model here" fantasy, but we also know those are never going to happen.  A fantasy of spanking my wife's ass till it's red just might and will always be more powerful than those other ones.  But if we don't TELL our partners that, and tell them regularly how hot and sexy they are, they quickly forget.   The best way to tell them though is through actions AND words.
I'm certain when this is over we'll have some mundane sex in our lives, but I'm also sure that Jackie and I will start planning more sex sessions, maybe once a week or every other week that will be over the top.  After all there are still more things on that fetish list that we never even looked at.   It might be as simple as Jackie whispering in my ear "Day 6 all over again" and I'll know that I'm about to bend over and she's going to ride me me hard with her strap on.  I'll be hard all day thinking about it and OMG will I ever be excited when I she touches me. 

Dane


Let me start out by saying WOW WOW WOW...this day really had me excited.  I like the mixture of pleasure and pain. I knew of all the things we had bought for this day and couldn't wait to feel all the things on my skin.  I played with the nipple clamps off and on all day, I swear they were connected to my clit..I was super excited. Which is really unusual because my nipples and boobs are generally not a big turn on for me.

So the afternoon started with some anxiety.  I was nervous yet excited.  I wondered if this would push my soft or hard limits.  I really did not want to have to use our safe words because that is what this month is about. Pushing our limits and finding new things we are ok with, things we love, or things that we know are NOT ok.  So Dane met me at the end of our staircase, where he proceded to blindfold, undress me, put on a silk robe, and put my wrist and ankles in straps to get ready to be tied down.

I had known that Dane had spend part of the morning getting the room ready.  However I really did not want to know what was coming. I wanted to feel, hear, smell what was going to happen. He knew this too.  He walked me upstairs, blindfolded.  I already knew the count for stairs and could feel as we went up on the banister where we were.  He then took me and strapped me down.  He told me how at any time I could release myself. that he made it that way so I felt I had reached my hard limit it was a safe place.  It takes alot of trust...I mean  A LOT of trust to know that your partner will not harm you.  That your partner knows your safe words, and is willing to listen when you say ok enough is enough. 
My afternoon started with this amazing soft material just being caressed on me. It moved on to a little pain, nipple clips that can be adjusted to my comfort level. To more softness, via boa, some other soft things...ice, heat, soft...he just kept alternating with the different types feelings.  It was pretty amazing...He then got out different toys that just set me totally off the deep in. I then was unhooked and we finished off with a nice finish for both of us. It was an amazing and thrilling day...I sit here thinking I wonder if we could take something off calender and have another day like this. This day will definitely go into my "I have to do this again" book.

Being Flexible

So today was suppose to be "Vincilagnia (tied up),  Blindfold,  Nipple clamps, & feathery things on Jackie", but after the events of last night and the fact we could have better no kids time (read Jackie could stream louder if she wanted to) on Monday instead of today, and massages would be tonight.  We just thought it would be better overall for both of us.

We like massages.  Jackie went to massage therapy school and I've given several massages using the massage table we have over the years.  Massages are one of the best (could be) non-sexual ways to be intimate with your partner.  Even before we'd break out some lotion and just rub each other. When I'm giving a massage the physical contact is exciting to me, even when I'm not expecting any sex.  Ok, honestly sex is not normally what you're looking for after a relaxing massage, and if I'm wanting extra sex, that is not the way to get it.  I normally offer a massage to Jackie if I just want my hands on her body - I want that physical touch. And who doesn't want to relax to a great massage with their partners hands all over them.  And of course done right you could go from relaxed to stimulated in a short period of time.

I had a rough morning with what I figured was a case of blue balls, a severely tender right testicle all morning, an figured by Monday it would be better.  I also figured that I would be next to impossible for Jackie to get me off today because of it.

We did go by an adult store on our travels home, and had a great time visiting with the sales lady.  We needed to get another butt plug, and were looking for some other jewels for Jackies drawer of magic toys.  We also found some non-piercing nipple ring  The staff were great and we had a good time. Now I know that you can order all toys online now, but there is something about holding one and feeling it before you buy it.  You want to know you're going to like it, especially for the price of many of the good toys.  The places we visit are not the dark seedy places, but well lit, very clean, cater to women, and most of the employees are women who know how to talk to you about what you're looking for without making you feel like a pervert. 

Now I'm going to add here that while driving down the road Jackie decides to pull out her nipple and put on one of the nipple rings.  Oh my! Then she tells me she'd like to play our own game for Superbowl tonight.  First score she'll suck on me for how ever many minutes that the teams scored in points.  A touch down and extra point is 7 minutes, a field goal 3 minutes.  Then next score was hers.  Next would be mine.  Then hers.  Didn't matter which team scored, just a score. 

I love oral sex!  I love to receive and give oral.  I'm sure there are times that Jackie is like "alright already, just stick it in me already", but I really and truly love oral that much.  I love receiving it, but I can count on my hands the number of times a woman has been able to make me cum via oral (thankfully Jackie is a majority of those times).  But I don't ever count on cumming that way, even though I love the feeling of it. So back to the story.

YEAH!!! 7 points scored first!  Damn I'm a lucky guy.  Then 3 points, though I extended it another 3 minutes because I was enjoying it that much.  Lucky me the Ravens scored another touchdown.  While going Jackie turned enough for me to finger her while she was going down on me, and drenched me as she came several times hard. The buzzard went off and damn I was close and Jackie knew it and she continued on instead of stopping, Oh my! There went a load and a half that had been brewing for 2 days.

We had fun.  We both got some much needed relief.  And while it was not what was on the calendar we were flexible enough to know when the schedule wasn't going to work and honestly we had more 'out of the box' fun watching the football game between turns that, playing with the nipple rings, and oral that we got the relief, not just orgasms but relief we needed after last night.  Honestly we were so into our own game that we missed the first field goal, and wouldn't have continued on if we have finished up right before the kick-off.

We have 4 days down, 24 days to go.  We showed that while we have a plan, our personal needs override our plans, and flexibility is important in a relationship.  It was a wonderful game we played and a great way to be intimate.

What game can you play with your partner that would be different and exciting.  Ok, just thinking if you're a NASCAR fan maybe the number on the car in the lead at the 1/2 way mark is an indication of what you're going to do. You know right down a position or thing for each of the 43 drivers and then let fate take a hand in your fun. Or who evers driver is in the lead at the 10th lap gets something special for the next 10 laps.  Just make it up, no real rules, it's about time together and doing something that will keep the flames going.  Make up your own game.  I don't know many guys that would pass up an opportunity like this given the chance.  Jackie did a great job today of making that happen.

Dane

Today was supposed to be be a day of being tied up,nipple clamps, ropes, feathers etc.  However the kids were to be back today and it was just not something I felt we needed to or could do.  I also had had a horrible day the day before and I really needed caressing and not to be over stimulated like I knew that this day planned would be.  So I asked if we could switch our massage day with Vincilagnia day.  And part of this month is open communication.  I did not tell him the whole thing, I just told him I would like to change the days.

I did go to massage therapy school about 10 years ago, I never got certified but will still from time to time give massages.  They are very relaxing for me to give them.  I know how much Dane loves them.  I really had intended to give him one.  I am not sure why I changed the game again.

So anyway, we had a few other things to pick up at the adult toy story.  One of our favorites is Megaplexx.  Its not your average toy store.  Its got a great toy selection, great movie selection and some private movie viewing.  This is great store.  The staff is really helpful, our girl probably spent about 15 mins with us trying to find a new strapon or one that has a pocket so I can enjoy some stimulation while giving Dane a great ass fuck. We also looked at paddles, cat-o-nine tails, handcuffs and also some non piercing nipple and clit rings. I have debated for year about getting my nipples pierced.  Wondering if that would help me with the fact that sometimes I have NO stimulation in my breast, some days I do but I thought maybe the nipple piercing would help. Our girl showed us several so we got them.  I really wanted to see them on.  I wanted to see how easy they would be.  The thought really got me wet. So once we checked out with our stuff, we went out to the car.  We had not driven a block with I went way out of my comfort zone, I just pulled down my shirt and whipped out my boob(I thought Dane might crash LOL) I quickly put it on to see if I liked it or if it would stay.  I tried to put my boob back in bra, but it came off quickly so I just put it away and giggled at the rise in Dane's pants. He said he could tell it would be a day of teasing again. 

I then asked about the game. Maybe we could give and receive oral according to the score.  We really weren't for any team so I just thought a score was a SCORE.  We would set a timer for however long depended on field goal, touchdown, or whatever. Of course he went for it. So first time was 7 minutes and I went down on him.  I swear that 7 mins was forever, and we were really into it that we dint even hear the next team score.  I knew that he was already suffering from blue balls from the night before so was a bit worried that getting him all worked up would not help that at all.  So second score 3 points gave me 3 minutes of him down on me, he then gave me a 3 minute advantage...I took it ;-) Next touch down, he got 7 more minutes.  I sucked on him and could tell he was getting so close.  I was up on my hands and knees and let him play with me.  I dont usually since I usually don't have him cum in my mouth.  I love to give him blowjobs then finish him off with him nice and tightly in my pussy.  Today though I was OK with him playing with me.  I get so freaking excited while giving him blowjobs.  I know I creamed all over him several times while I was sucking on him.  I could just tell it wouldn't be longer when bam the timer went off, I just couldn't let him hang, so I kept going.  I even asked him to help me and then for him to tell me when he was about to cum and I would let him cum in my mouth. And that is just what happened.  I swear he has cups full of cum ready to cum out this time! There are times when he blows that I barely get a taste. Not today...damn it was a lot..I think it was a great day.  FYI: We spent most of the day looking at adult toy websites looking for non piercing nipple and clit clips and I bought a few...There is a lot of power of looking at toys and finding just the right one...I am not sure why but it was super excited about the whole day.  

Oh my thoughts have worked through the other night to and I am much better with it to.  If you had asked me to swing on sat again I would have said NO WAY, but I am not totally against it now.(just thought you might like to know)

So day 4 done, and day 5 is about to start.  We are going to be able to make it I am sure, we might have more times to be flexible and times we will stay on track.  We will talk and communicate more than we ever had.  We will grow closer...How will you get closer to your spouse? What can;you do to spice up your life? Be flexible,be resourceful, give your time but just do something!!!!

Jackie