Japaneese ropes, blind fold, feathers and nipple clamps to start. Of course there will be dildos, fire (wax) or ice, or various other unrelenting actions while you're tied down. (done to Jackie)
So today was about sensations. Either taking them away or enhancing them. It was something we've done before (or similar) and I know it's something Jackie and I both enjoy. This is not something that has to be a lot of expense to do. A blindfold is about $4 - $5 if you look around. A bucket of ice. A candle. A piece of rope (though we do have some alternatives for the rope), a feather, a silk shirt, whatever is around use it.
In our case we found a velco mattress cover, on clearance, that you can strap someone down to the bed with. In the past I've used ties that are out of style and I no longer wear, we have some Japanese ropes (very soft ropes that tie easily), and the tie to a robe. It doesn't matter and honestly the knots don't have to be that great, it's the idea of a bit of restraint to take away their ability to just take control.
The blindfold is to take away an entire sense. If you take away the sight it's like your skin becomes more sensitive and the anticipation of what is about to come heightens your senses. If you don't have a blind fold, then use a towel or something to cover their eyes.
I had everything I wanted on the ironing board by the bed. Then I met Jackie at the door and blindfolded her. I removed her clothes and put on a silk kimono she had (again going for sensations and the silk on her skin). I then strapped on the cuffs to her arms and ankles and walked her upstairs to be where I then strapped her to the velcro holders for our new sheets.
After that she let me have total control for an hour or so. My job was to set her over the top with sensations. A cheap piece of cloth we picked up a couple of weeks ago was used to drap over and slide over her body. A boa to tickle her. Wax from a candle dripped on her breast. Ice rubbed over her nipples. Her nipple clamps we used both on her nipples and on her clit (something new she thought of and wanted to try). Then once I had her upper body over stimulated I used her glass dildo that I had been setting in ice on her, then one of her old favorites a Beyond 2000 (kind of like a Rabbit).
Ok, so we had a good time and she was extremely stimulated and just took her over the edge. The new sheets got a great christening. I then got to reap the benefits of that stimulation. While it wasn't necessarily new to us, we did use several new props and it was several fetishes and a great time.
The piece of cloth was super soft so tingled as I dragged it over her body time and time again. The boa was new and she liked that too. The sheets were new, and we paid 1/2 price for those and they are worth at least that much. We used the nipple clamp as a clit clamp which Jackie told me she loved. All of these things to enhance what we've already done.
So what could you do to stimulate your partner? Look around, you've got several things in your house that would work. Plan something today that will either enhance sensations or take them away. Either way you can have the time of your life.
I want to add here that last year we did 14+ days, every other day. We alternated who was 'in-charge' of the day. There were some great days, but honestly there were days we struggled to get through the act of the day, and by the end of the month both of us were out of ideas and it almost got to 'ok here we go, let's get this over with.' This year we've planned every day out. We've actually spent about $100 in props and things to aid us. Admittedly I've lavished Jackie with a drawer full of toys over the years so dildos and vibrators we have plenty of. But we're on day 5 and I can honestly say I've looked forward to every day so far and we seem to be a lot more at ease.
Look I know sex can be spontaneous and a fantastic time that way. I'm certain some of the best sex I've ever had was just spontaneous. But we live in some pretty stressful environments, and then to have to 'preform' for our partner and always bring an A game spontaneously is a lot to ask for. I'm thinking out loud here, but one of the things I think I'm seeing is that we not only need to make plans for (write it in our schedule) to have sex so that our partners know they are important enough that I'm not going to schedule anything during our special time, but that we actually should be planning WHAT we are wanting to do. Make that 1/2 the fun of the sex, the planning. I can't tell you how much fun Jackie and I had when were were planning for this month. All anxiety aside about the quantity of sex and the pushing the limits, the planning and especially the preparing for this month was fantastic and some of the best spontaneous sex we've had came from that.
I think when the guys take that kind of time with their partners that they get to remembering how special you really think they are. That we wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our partners that don't allow us to see so many of their flaws that we know are there, but don't give two flips about, just as they don't care about those flaws in us. I don't know a guy in a decent relationship that doesn't consider their spouse sexy, and hot as hell. That we fantasize about doing lots of things to our partners that they may never know about because we're to afraid to tell them in fear of being judged. But it's them we're fantasizing doing those things with. Ok, we have the occasional "put your favorite movie star or model here" fantasy, but we also know those are never going to happen. A fantasy of spanking my wife's ass till it's red just might and will always be more powerful than those other ones. But if we don't TELL our partners that, and tell them regularly how hot and sexy they are, they quickly forget. The best way to tell them though is through actions AND words.
I'm certain when this is over we'll have some mundane sex in our lives, but I'm also sure that Jackie and I will start planning more sex sessions, maybe once a week or every other week that will be over the top. After all there are still more things on that fetish list that we never even looked at. It might be as simple as Jackie whispering in my ear "Day 6 all over again" and I'll know that I'm about to bend over and she's going to ride me me hard with her strap on. I'll be hard all day thinking about it and OMG will I ever be excited when I she touches me.
Dane
Let me start out by saying WOW WOW WOW...this day really had me excited. I like the mixture of pleasure and pain. I knew of all the things we had bought for this day and couldn't wait to feel all the things on my skin. I played with the nipple clamps off and on all day, I swear they were connected to my clit..I was super excited. Which is really unusual because my nipples and boobs are generally not a big turn on for me.
So the afternoon started with some anxiety. I was nervous yet excited. I wondered if this would push my soft or hard limits. I really did not want to have to use our safe words because that is what this month is about. Pushing our limits and finding new things we are ok with, things we love, or things that we know are NOT ok. So Dane met me at the end of our staircase, where he proceded to blindfold, undress me, put on a silk robe, and put my wrist and ankles in straps to get ready to be tied down.
I had known that Dane had spend part of the morning getting the room ready. However I really did not want to know what was coming. I wanted to feel, hear, smell what was going to happen. He knew this too. He walked me upstairs, blindfolded. I already knew the count for stairs and could feel as we went up on the banister where we were. He then took me and strapped me down. He told me how at any time I could release myself. that he made it that way so I felt I had reached my hard limit it was a safe place. It takes alot of trust...I mean A LOT of trust to know that your partner will not harm you. That your partner knows your safe words, and is willing to listen when you say ok enough is enough.
My afternoon started with this amazing soft material just being caressed on me. It moved on to a little pain, nipple clips that can be adjusted to my comfort level. To more softness, via boa, some other soft things...ice, heat, soft...he just kept alternating with the different types feelings. It was pretty amazing...He then got out different toys that just set me totally off the deep in. I then was unhooked and we finished off with a nice finish for both of us. It was an amazing and thrilling day...I sit here thinking I wonder if we could take something off calender and have another day like this. This day will definitely go into my "I have to do this again" book.
