Sexuary 2020 - Our Dungeon

Every once in a while the stars align and we get one of our bucket list wishes come true.  That happened for us when our 4 bedroom house became vacant except for Jackie and I.  What does that mean? It means we have PLENTY of room to do whatever we want in our house, and no one to wonder in 'accidently'.  So what did we do? We took all the toys we've purchased or built over the last 14 years and built a dungeon! I mean an honest to goodness dungeon!

We've enjoyed many kinks over the last several years (as you can read in this blog) and so we've added to our 'tools of the trade'.  We have the rack that can be used for rope suspension and I've added an adult swing for this Sexuary.

When a local dungeon was moving they had some of their equipment for sale, so when the spanking bench came up we snagged it.  It's way over kill for anything Jackie and I would use (it has hand clamps, and a male masturbater built into it.  It's very sturdy and while if I was building one I'd make some adjustments, for the $50 we paid for it is a great addition to our new dungeon area.

For those of you who build I'd make the center piece and the legs a bit adjustable so that the ass height and the comfort of the sub is better met.

Next we've got a massage table. OH the many uses this table has. Yes, we've done massages on it, but we've also used it as a bed. The head piece pulls out and so you have a square end to lay on. The legs are adjustable, so the height is perfect for Jackie to be laying on it and for me to have a straight shot into her treasure chest.

You'll notices the chaise lounger in the corner.  I know the old 50's movies used them to make the ladies look sexy, but Jackie can bend over the end, lay ass up, or ...well just us your imagination as to what all you can do with it.

Last is the St Andrews Cross I built a year or two ago.  I've built a frame for the bottom with the intentions of taking it places with us over the next year.  A couple of pins and 1 bolt and it will totally come apart and pack away.

The mats on the floor (which we've moved) really do make a difference when you're standing on the floor.  These are from Walmart and are 6 - 1/2" mats for $12.  We have about 125 sq/ft of matting on our floors now. They also are very easy to clean when Jackie gets very orgasmic. 

In the closet we have everything from floggers to needles, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, masturbators, nipple and clit clamps, rope and suspension equipment, TENS units, Violet Wand, other electrical attachments, and anything else we've come across and wanted/needed over the years and of course plenty of lubes. 

We haven't played with everything here, the needles are coming but we are prepared, and there are other boxes I haven't unveiled yet so I can surprise Jackie when the time comes.  When we do have something we like, we go ahead and get good equipment and make sure we have a variety of them. Floggers for instance, we have 6 or 7 of them, varying weight and lengths (Get your flogger at Flogmebaby.com Steven there will treat you right!). 

While over the decades we've spent plenty of money on putting everything in this dungeon together, it's not like the equipment in there is thousands of dollars. We probably have $500 - $600 dollars in floor equipment.  That's all 5 pieces. And if you're a great shopper like Jackie you could probably do it for less.The spanking bench was $50, because we just keep our eyes open for deals like that. You could probably find a massage table and other things for a dungeon. We have another $500 - $750 in 'toys' in the closet.  A lot of that stuff was purchased before Amazon and Wish were around and big into adult toys and gadgets, and has taken us almost 15 years to accumulate. So start small and go from there. Scan through Wish.com and see things that are intriguing to you and get them. Soon you'll have your own collection for a dungeon if you're lucky like Jackie and I are. 

Dane

Sexuary 2017 - Still Anal Fisting

So this isn't a new topic, actually it's the most view topic on our blog, and that's anal fisting (Anal Fisting and Anal, Fisting, Toys (Day 3) .  So we have to believe that there are others out there who'd like to try it but don't know where to start or are afraid of what will happen or just find it taboo and want to know more.  So we're going to talk about it again.

First of all it's on our 'regular' list of things to do.  Normally every 3 - 6 weeks we have a good ass fucking on me.  Normally Jackie will start with her fist and unlike several years ago it now only takes her a couple attempts and her fist will slide right into my ass.  She's learned the art of great lubrication (we still use Elbow Grease for lube on my ass), how to start with a couple of fingers and quickly stretch me out to accept her whole fist.  We're now to the point she's working on getting a second hand in at the same time.  She can get up to her knuckles on the second hand, but haven't quite made it past there.

In addition we've added new toys to the arsenal.  Pre-Sexuary I purchased several new dildos to play with, 2 of them are VERY large (3" diameter).  OK, so for right now I've met my match.  Those 2 will NOT go in.  One was a fist that Jackie just couldn't get started, the other was bullet shaped, but again, not really a point of any kind and just never could get it started to get in.  The others I purchased were great.  Larger than what I had (2.75" diameters)  and really did a great job.  Also I purchased 1 with the vacumlock system on it and got a handle (and an attachment for her strap-on) that Jackie liked.  She's complained in the past how hard some of the bigger dildos are to manage.  The handle helped today.

I do still take the hour before we play and make sure I'm well cleaned out down there for Jackie.  After several rinsing and what I expel is clear then I go lay ass up in the bed ready for Jackie to come take care of business.

I will have several orgasms while Jackie is in me, rubbing my prostate from inside.  Not necessarily cumming, but definitely orgasms.  Eyes rolling, body shaking, OMG orgasms.  It's something I've only experienced while she's rubbing my prostate. And after the fact I'm fine.  I swear within 5 minutes of being done, while I have that post orgasmic chill, my ass doesn't hurt at all.  Even afterwards it never bothers me in any way shape or form.  It feels great.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with LOTS of lube and Jackie taking her time to stretch me every time.

I won't lie, the first several times we ever tried it just didn't seem like it was going to go.  Jackie stopped when I asked, and we never gave up.  Finally after several days, over several months, of trying it finally made it. Now we never have an issue and we always have a great time. 

Hope this helps, comment below with questions or other suggestions if you'd like.

Dane

Sexuary 2015 - Dildos

Ok, so the buttons are to much for you to handle, or maybe you are tired of having to steal the kids game controller batteries, then a dildo is what you need.  So for clarification I'll define a dildo as an adult toy that doesn't us a battery and is generally used for inserting inside of someone.

So in the adult toy world we seem to have vibrators and dildos for the most part (yes, I know there is all the other fun, kinky stuff like ropes and chains, and paddles and whips) but for now we'll talk about why 1 over the other and why your dildo can be your friend.

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes.  From the that's nice to the OMG you're not getting near me with that thing sizes.  They are most often made with a slightly spongee, rubbery outer coating for a more realistic feeling most of the harder vibrators.  These coatings are often times the difference in cost between 1 dildo and another.  Additionally, many of the dildos have a harder inner core to help with inserting them inside.  If they don't it can be difficult to get them inserted where you want to go.  Some dildos will come with suction cups to stick to a wall, bathtub, or any other place you'd like to explore nirvana from.

Dildos are a preference thing though.  Each person has a preference and that's the right one for you. Big or small, fat or skinny are all what you like.  There are ridges on some, nodules on others, but those are all personal preferences.  How wide should you get it?  Maybe use the finger rule.  How many fingers do you use when fingering your vagina or ass when you're playing?  Use that as a width for the width of your new dildo.  As for length?  My rule of thumb is you can always short stroke a long dildo, but if it's to short...well your orgasm could come up short too.  There is of course the let's be real about it too rule.

Oh and let's not forget the double headed dildo. These are generally 12"+ long and very flexible. You can share the dildo with a partner or bend it in half and use both ends at once.

If you like dildos but might want an occasional vibration, some of the dildos have a place to put a bullet vibrator in them for a little kick.

Some of the reasons you might like to use a dildo over a vibrator?  Noise is one big reason.  If you don't want others to hear you playing a dildo could be a better option.  What if you wanted to use something on both your vagina and clit or ass at the same time?  It could be better to make 1 a dildo as having 2 vibrators hitting together sometimes causes a racket and could pinch you.  Making 1  a dildo would prevent that.

Make sure you keep your dildos clean and just remember anything a penis can do, yeap that's exactly what a dildo can do. 

Hope your Sexuary has been good and you've had fun breaking out those toys. 

Sexuary 2015 - Strap-Ons

So was hoping to get to the TENS units but am waiting for a new toy to arrive before I finish that so we're going to talk about strap-ons.  YEAH!

So strap-ons are one of those Sexuary toys that EVERYONE gets to play with.  It doesn't matter your gender or sexual preference there are strap-ons for you and your partners enjoyment.  While we generally think of strap-ons in women on women, it can actually be used by both men and women on both men and women. Damn these strap-ons are good!!!

So it's been our experience that most strap-ons are pretty simple in design.  While the miles of webbing or leather might look intimidating, once you can lay it out and figure out leg and belt you're good to go.  Just tighten it up and fun and excitement are around the corner.   Though you'll notice in our picture we have one that wraps around you thigh, a much simpler design, though it has some 'thrust' issues to it. 

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So most of the strap on work with a metal O ring that fits around the base and then that snaps into your webbing.  Note the bottom left dildo is made to be put onto a strap on belt.

We've also found a double sided strap on that vibrate both her and him at the same time (lighter purple on).  While Jackie had issues with the angle on this one we loved the idea of it.

So why do we play with strap-ons?

• Well first of all there is the hands free element here.  Depending on the sex using it you could be stroking a clit or a cock, or just holding on while still stroking or pegging.  
• You can get your hips into it.  Let's face it these are nothing more than dildos and vibrators, but hip action definitely adds a new dimension to the thrusting the receiver is getting. 
• For the women there is gender bending
• For the men there is now 2 penises and the possibility of double penetration
• Additionally for men with erectile issues the strap on can over come so of those issues and provide a great sexual experience. 
• There are role play opportunities here.  The strap on because that guy you invited to your bed together.  

So I'll add that while some guys are intimidated by strap-ons, I've never met a guy that's tried them that don't appreciate them.  The "you've got to be gay if you allow anal" myth is just that a myth.  After all why would one of the most erotic zones in a man be found within the anal channel if we weren't supposed to explore there? Seriously guys there is nothing like having your prostate rubbed while a woman has a strap on dildo plowing in your ass and you're being stroked.

Oh but wait that means the wife must really be butch and dominate. *slapping forehead*  For most women wearing a strap on has no gender implications. It's just another accessory they wear for sexual play that just happens to be very practical and while they might seriously get into the moment, it doesn't change who they are.  If they're not butch and dominate now a strap on isn't going to change that. 

Here's a good video I found talking about the different styles of strap-ons and attachable dildos.



I will say that we had problems finding our first belt for Jackie because of size.  But what I figured out was that the web belts are standard webbing and I just added a couple of pieces of webbing extending the pull straps.  This allowed a more comfortable fit for her, and pleasure for me.  So for us the web belts were the best option. 

We also have found that it is generally much cheaper to purchase a harness by itself and then add the dildo you want to add separately.  The 'kits' get quite pricey and you won't always get the dildo you want.  Putting your own set together allows you to get what you want, and often at a cheaper price. You'll notice in our collection we have a variety of strap on dildos that we can put on Jackies harness.

So how does this work with Sexuary?  Well here's the deal, strap-ons allow for some unique toy play.  They bring an intimacy to your bedroom (or other places) that just the dildo doesn't.  And isn't that what Sexuary is about?  Bringing a new sense of intimacy to the bedroom.  Even if it's for the 1 night this month, these toys are fun.

So where are you on Sexuary adventures this year?  Have you brought more toys to your sanctuary?  Have you used them for self satisfaction?  Have you made a change for this month to bring more communication to your relationship?  We still have over half the month left, so if you haven't do anything for Sexuary you still have time!!! Go for it, grab that strap on and ........

If you don't have a strap on we highly recommend adding one to your collection!

Dane 

Sexuary 2015 - Care and Cleaning of Your Toys

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Sexuary 2015 - Sex Toy Myth Buster

So before we get started with Sexuary 2015, I felt like maybe we should go over some myths about sex toys.  There are plenty out there and if we’re going to talk about how they can make your sex life better, we should understand what they can and can’t do. 

Myth – Toys are for just for lonely women

Fact – The adult sex toy industry is over $15 billion a year industry.  That would be a lot of lonely women. Let’s face it I remember a day when if you wanted to get a sex toy you had to pull up to the back side of a brick building that looked non-descript that was at least 50 miles from your home, and put on your sunglasses to walk into a poorly lit area and quickly grab a toy before someone you knew pulled in and recognized you. It’s the way it was.  Now between internet sales and brightly lit stores that cater to women and couples there is no reason not to have sex toys.  There are now parties that are hosted at homes so it’s more personal, and the days of the seedy sex stores are all but gone.  The sex stores today are nice, clean, well lit businesses that cater to women in a lot of respects. 

It’s estimated that in the 70’s only about 1% of the women had sex toys, today over 50% have them.  Shows like Sex In The City and the Rabbit toy used have made sex toys more socially acceptable.

Oh, and let’s not forget the men side to the industry.  Yeap, toys are for men too, and as more and more men are talking about it more and more are trying them, both on their significant others and on themselves.

Myth – Sex toys will stretch me out and I won’t be able to feel my partner or will be too loose for him. 

Fact – A sex toy small or large is not going to permanently stretch you out.  Your muscles in the vagina will get looser over time hence the Kegels and keeping the muscles in shape. But the toys are not going to cause that stretching any more than having sex with a large guy is going to stretch you.   I found several references to Betty’s Barbells that can assist you in your Kegels if you’re interested.  You might look up vaginal barbells or Betty's Barbell if you want some more info.  But bottom line is a big fat dildo/vibrator isn’t going to ruin you for a man.

Myth – I’ll be electrocuted if I use my vibrator in the shower.

Fact – The reason they make waterproof vibrators are to protect your investment in the vibrator.  The moisture getting into the battery compartment will ruin most vibrators.  The small amperage and voltage used in vibrators could if conditions were just perfect, a complete circuit out of the battery compartment you could possibly, maybe, get a small zap like a light switch in the winter.  So basically you’d have to submerge the vibrator to cause a circuit. But conditions would have to be perfect and the zap would not in any way be life threatening.  For the record most ‘waterproof’ vibrators have a rubber ring between the battery compartment and the top or plate that encloses it.

You still need to make sure the battery compartment is dried out or your vibrator is waterproof if you don’t want to ruin your vibrator after playing in the shower.

Myth – No real man would use a sex toy with his partner

Fact - A recent survey by the University of Indiana's Kinsey Institute shows that 45 percent of American men have used vibrators in partner sex at least once. One in 10 has done so in the past month. So the ‘real man’ thing is out the window.  Look in cars we put superchargers to make the engine run better.  In sports we train with weights to go longer or higher or whatever.  Sometimes it just makes the sex better when we’re outside of our norm or have some add-ons.  But if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a dozen times, “a vibrator just isn’t the same as a cock, and sometimes a girl just needs a good cock fucking.” A vibrator doesn't say "I love you" or make dinner or take her to the movies when it's all done either. So have no fear guys, it might get her through the moment, even a long spell, but bottom line most women still want you in the end…the toys, they just put the spice on the meal.

Myth – Sex toys are just for women

Fact – Most sex toys can be used on both sexes.  A vibrator or dildo doesn’t know the difference between a vagina and a rectum.  Prostate or Perineum stimulation from a vibrator can be extremely pleasurable for a male.  Whips and paddles don’t care the sex of the flesh they land on.  A butt plug doesn’t care the sex it finds, it just wants to squeeze between some ass cheeks and firmly plant in an asshole.  Guys have several places that can be stimulated by adult toys.  And that doesn’t even cover the ‘pocket pussy’ or similar devices that help him masturbate. So no, sex toys aren’t just for women.

And just because we’re talking about men and toys, I’m going to make the clear statement here, NO you are not gay because you like your prostate stimulated.  It means you’re opening up to another way to have an amazing orgasm.  The fact that to reach that part is through your ass is just an engineering design issue, but does not mean you are gay. 

Myth – Good sex toys cost a lot.  

Fact – We’ve found toys for less than $10 that was on our favorite list.  We’ve found toys that cost over $100 that were junk.  We’ve picked up very good toys over $100 and crap less than $25.  It really depends on the toys and what you want.  Generally, not always, the quality of the toys material and it’s life expectancy of a higher price toy is better, but that doesn’t make it a better toy. This week we posted a picture of our toys, and someone pointed out we have a $4 ping pong paddle in our collection.  Damn fine toy it is!!! Everyone has their own personal preference on toys, so if a $10 toy hits the spot right, then that’s the toy for you.  We’ll talk about the different parts of toys at another time, but make sure if at all possible you try any electronics before you purchase it, or if you’re getting it online that you can return it if it’s a real dud.

Myth – If I use vibrators I won’t be able to have an orgasm with a man later on.

Fact - No, not true. Sometimes women use vibrators to learn how to give themselves orgasms and can then better explain to their partners how to make them have an orgasm. Sometimes it will help get a woman 'warmed up' easier than other methods. But the one doesn't exclude the other.

Per a Brown University study most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal stimulation and many would never have an orgasm with just intercourse no matter what the guy did. 

Hope these facts help us move into Sexuary with an open mind about toys and their use in the bedroom (or where ever you might us them).  

If you have another question or heard something about sex toys please ask below or send a messge to us. 

Remember if you'd like to join us for this years Sexuary Play Time Facebook group you have just a couple of more days to find us and join in the upcoming fun.  You can lurk in the shadows or be in the middle of the conversation, there is no pressure to be in the middle of anything in the group.  But if you want to have full access you must join before Sexuary starts.  

Dane