Sexuary - Dungeon Party

So to end Sexuary we had a birthday party for me at the Austin Dungeon. It's the beauty of having a birthday at the end of Sexuary. So in November Jackie and I decided that this years birthday party would be at the Dungeon.  You can't imagine how excited I was when the decision was made and the deposit was made for the day.

Then comes the next fun decision....who the hell can you invite?  It's not like you can just put out on Facebook that there is a birthday party where we are going to get wild and kinky.  But we have met friends that we knew were in the lifestyle and might just not consider us totally freaky and block us forever.  So the list of 13 people were invited.  Some were unable to come right from the beginning and some backed out for 1 reason or another up until the day of party.  We still wound up with 6 of us there.

I of course was naked as people arrived...cause that's just me.  We had found a Dominatrix outfit for Jackie to start out in. Of course she had to have something to show up in, then she changed, leaving her high heels on and her new cock we got that morning for fucking me with.To say she was fucking hot would be an understatement.

We got to the Dungeon a bit early to set up and get ready.  We didn't have a whole lot of set up, bringing in towels and a bit of food.  More would show up but we just wanted to get started, and let's face it this was a party I didn't want to be late to this party!

The rest of the couples showed up and since not everyone knew everyone we went over a couple of rules. One of the things we've really adapted is the consent rules of if someone says "No" 1x that's the last time you can ask for the day.  A "Maybe" means you can ask 1 more time, but 2 "Maybes" means a no for the day...see rule 1.  After that the fun started.

Now we'd never played with Gomez and Morticia, but we had some 'moments' with them and spent some time with them.  Jackies first french kiss with a woman was with Morticia around a campfire.  So we were hopeful things would work out. Gomez was a bit shy at first, but after a little liquid encouragement even he jumped right in.

We started with me on the spanking bench, bent over while Jackie used the new vibrating cock in my ass.  Others came around and my hands found pussy's and cocks to play with while my ass got pounded.  Thomas and Kitty worked their magic with my ass and mouth and eventually after a while and plenty of satisfaction we took a break. 

After a short break I put Jackie up on the cross where we flogged her.  Several of us took turns and I got to show Morticia just how hot Jackie gets while being flogged.  We drenched the floor with her cum.  I'm not sure why no one believes us, but Jackie seriously squirts when she's orgasmic.  After that we started with other groups forming and group hugs, feeling each other up, licking, sucking, and fucking for the next several hours.   We had the Dungeon for 4 hours and we used every minute of it.  When we left I don't think there was 1 genital that wasn't satisfied. A couple of them were a little raw, and the next day there were some abs that were sore from all the fucking and orgasms.

I think my tongue was the happiest it's ever been.  That night there were several first for different people.  It was a total no judgement zone where everyone was there to have a good time and celebrate my birthday.  I can't imagine a better birthday party every.   Great friends, great sex, and just a totally wonderful day.

I know there are Dungeons for rent in many large cities. Go for it! Figure out that handful of friends you can invite and rent a Dungeon for your next birthday party! Honestly I'm thinking of doing it 2 - 4 times a year I had so much fun!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Five Minute Quickies

So one of the things we've tried this Sexuary is some quickies...setting a timer for 5 minutes and playing.  Could be a 5 minute blowjob.  Could be a 5 minute pussy licking.  Could be 5 minutes bent over the bed and a good fuck.  Timer goes off and play ends .....for the moment. Often it's foreplay.  Sometimes it's just stand alone sex.

Let's face it sometimes a full fledged playtime just isn't going to happen.  But the connections that were made with the 5 minute quickies fill a gap that happen between life and sex.

Even with a house full of people, a 5 minute quickie is doable.  Even with kids screaming your name you can squeeze in a 5 minute quickie. Right? I know we've literally been in the middle as we hear a 2 year old calling our names and ignore them for the rest of the 2 minutes to finish up our 5.  They survived and I was able to make Jackie cum before we answered the beckoning call of the warbling 2 year old.

Sex doesn't have to always be planned, foreplay and full blow sex to be satisfying.  A 5 minute quickie fills in the gaps and can be quite satisfying. Give it a try!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Making out in the car

Ok, do you remember when you got your drivers license?  The best part about it was that your weekend dates could now be unchaperoned right?  And that meant making out in the car on the way to or from each others house.  Or maybe you got to be so fortunate as to go to Make-Out Lane and made out there. We had a bridge I know we could park under that was safe from view.  There were a couple of pull offs that I could pull into behind some trees in another place I lived.  But once we were there it was make out time!

Well to say the house Jackie and I live in is busy would be an understatement.  So finding privacy outside the bedroom has been an issue for us.  Oh don't get us wrong, we obviously find plenty of sex in our bedroom, but sometimes we want to be somewhere else. 

This Sexuary we've brought back making out in the car. Sometimes while returning from our rope dates.  Sometimes just out on the front driveway.  Just to be clear we live in a neighborhood, so it's like when you use to drop your date off and hope her dad wouldn't come knocking on your door.  Cars pass by and others could come out of the house at any time, but we don't care.  I keep a vibrator in the car most of the time, and Jackie can always put on a show.  Or my belt and zipper will magically open up and Jackie could be going down on me.  My fingers will definitely find a clit to rub and potentially a hole or two to fill while we're necking.  Bras never seem to stay on and when we walk back into the house it seems we might carry as much of our clothing as we are wearing.  The car might even have that .....that wonderful smell of, "there has been sex in here" for a day or two afterwards.  You might even get into the car the next day and smile when you have to pull your seat up to drive remembering the adventures of last night.

I know I know we all get so freaking busy that sex, and particularly foreplay, can be put on the back burner.  But let's be real here, it's there if we want it, it just has to become a priority.  And one of the ways to make it that is to take advantage of those few minutes in between here and there while in your car.

If you're fortunate enough like me to have a bench seat it works even better.  If that gives you the motivation to clean out the back seat, that works too.  But all these are just obstacles that can be overcome.

So our advice? Steam up some windows!!! Give your partner a show!!! Reach over and kiss your partner when the vehicle stops and don't let it stop there!!! Bring back making out in the car and act like a teenager!!!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Sweet Spot Nation ...again!

In 2015 we wrote about Sweet Spot Nation.  It's a burlesque show that we've been attending three to four times a year for several years now.  We've actually become friends with a couple of the performers and regular attenders, and admirers of the rest of them. What is a burlesque show? It's a variety show.  In this case it's a variety show that has a sexual theme to it. Our favorite shows are the ones that we have friends that go with us to these shows.  Ok, I'm pretty sure we scared off one of our couple friends forever, but the rest have all had a great time at the show.

The shows are adult shows, no doubt about it, but they are basically a live version of our blog.  What do I mean?  They talk about real issues, sometimes in a comical way.  Sometime seriously.  They dance, they read, they sing, they tell stories, they play games, they demonstrate those things you only read about in 50 Shades Of Gray, and at the end of the night we're all wound up and ready to jump in the sack.

This is one of the public places we go to be free, sexually free.  There are no judgements at the Sweet Spot.  It's about accepting your sexuality and having a great time.  The crowd is as diverse as they come, and the fact they came to town during Sexuary just made it that much better.

What about you? Have you looked to push your limits, go someplace a bit risque? Take your significant other and have a public forum to be adults in?  Go for it, The Sweet Spot is one of ours, and we hope you'll look into going to see them if they come to your town.

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Flogging

There is a part of us that recognize pain as a pleasurable thing.  I think we've all experienced this at some time or another.  There are those who have learn, accepted, or maybe they are just wired a bit different, that find pain, a great deal of pain, as pleasurable.  In the tool bag of those who inflict pain are floggers.

We own 4 of them.

Over the last year we've played with the floggers more and more.  I was introduced to a Flogging for Therapy class that has changed how we look at floggers.

For those who haven't figured out, Jackie isn't exactly into pain, and until recently really didn't want any activity that would leave a welp or mark (ok, hickies excluded).   But the more and more we've played with the floggers the more and more she's enjoyed them.

Now we participate with a group at Renaissance Faire that keeps a St Andrews cross up and we flog for pain.  Yes, those who were coming through were wanting to be beaten.  They wanted welps.  They wanted to find where that pain threshold was at.  To be honest, some need to find a limit, and if the floggers didn't have more sense then they did a visit to the doctors would be needed.

But that's not what we do.  Our flogging is firm but not brutal.  A 15 minute session with a flogger or two is the same as an hour on the massage table.  I can walk up and down the from her shoulders to her thighs.  I'll spend extra attention on the fleshier areas.  In the end Jackie is extremely relaxed (there are times she'll sleep for up to 12 hours).  Some times she'll be tied up a bit, sometimes she'll just lean over the bed or up on the St Andrews cross and ask for me to flog her...NOW!  Who am I to turn her down?  

So it really is personal preference, but floggers don't have to be about welps and all painful.

Now what about the floggers?  Floggers have a couple of different features.  A couple of things you look for in a flogger?

1) The length of the tails.  We have from 12" - 24" tails on ours. The longer the tails the more snap you can get at the end.
2) The thud/sting factor.  This is based on several factors on the flogger but some people like more sting, some want more of a thud.  Jackie is more of a thudder.
3) The material it's made of.  Ok, this effects the 2nd one too..but some are softer (fur material, suede for example).  Some are firmer and definitely not soft. Good bull hide for example.
4)  Weight...I like a good mid weight flogger.  I've used ones that are to heavy and you can't get a good swing on them.  To light and you can't get a good pounding.
5) The handle is really the last of it.  Some are multipurpose like the Emperor Flogger I have on the left.  But the handle needs to be a good fit for your hand and something you can hold onto while you're swinging it.  You'll notice the 2 middle floggers are generally the same except the one handle is bigger.  I prefer the smaller handles.  But everyone is different, so try handles of different floggers as you see them.

Now the bonus.  Unpaid, unsolicited, we LOVE flogmebaby.com for a good flogger. It's not the same as a one handmade, but their prices are extremely reasonable.  We have a friend that makes floggers, even he was impressed with the quality, especially for the price.  So give them a look up and pick a flogger for your place.

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Good Friends and Good Fucks

So one of the things Jackie and I have 'played around' with over the years is bringing others into our bedroom.  If you go back to the first time we tried with a couple (Sexuary 2013), it was pretty disastrous.  Things didn't click.  Things moved oddly and definitely were not a good experience.  We'd had other experiences that were.  The 1 gentleman we played with for over a year (every few months we'd spend a date night out with him), and had a great time.  But for some reason couples just never seemed to work out quite as well.

Over the course of this last year we've met a couple and became friends.  While I'd known the guy for a bit, and had met his significant other, Jackie hadn't met either.  Our first get together as couples was at Hippie Hollow.  No better way to meet someone than with all your cloths off right? We've become great friends over the year and some where along the way the question was asked, "so, can we all get together in bed?"  As always for us, both of us have to agree, and since we know I'm a horny bastard it left it to Jackie to work it out.

After several visits it did happen, and has continued to happen over the last 6 months or so.  So when Sexuary 2019 calendar was being made we texted them to see if they were available for a weekend of swinging fun.  Of course they said yes.

Now I want to point out we hook up some times just for cards, or a meal, or get together.  Both of our families have met the other as our friends.  We know them, and their story just like they know ours.  It's not a quick roll in the hay and we were out the door.

And while Jackie had some feelings she had to process the first couple of times, it's not gotten to where when we are together we can flirt and have fun, and each of us knows who's going home with who and there are no problems. We have gone to dark parties together, and we've played at each others house.  When I built our St. Andrews cross they were they were their for the inaugural weekend. The new hard point for the house we actually put it together the 1st time at their place and I suspended all 3 of them that night.  Rarely a day goes by that we don't all text something back and forth asking about each others day or family. 

So Friday comes and to be honest Jackie had a horrible week.  We weren't even 'scheduled' to play Friday night, but she needed some release.  So we all went out for dinner and .99 cent Margaritas. Afterwards Jackie and Thomas (Thomas and Kitty are our friends) laid on the sofa together while I took and gave Kitty an hour massage.  We just relaxed and got the days stress out of our system.  We moved to the bedroom and .....well let's just say the women were all very satisfied before we ended up in a pile in the middle of the bed and chatted for about 30 minutes as we planned the next days adventures. 

Did I mention that the king sized bedroom I rented had a hot tub in it? Yeap, Jackie and I had stayed here before so when I was looking I went back.  It's really a 2 person tub but you can easily fit 3 and really could fit 4 in it if you wanted to be playful and cozy. So while Thomas and Kity took care of their daily honey-dos, Jackie was in an extraordinarily horny mood and I was ever so happy to help her with her condition.

After lunch we came back and worked on those rope ties I struggled with so much this on Wednesday.  We'd talked about different things we could do to make it work and sure enough with a set of new ropes, a couple of piles and a lot less frustration Jackie was tied up and laying comfortably on the bed.   OF COURSE I took advantage of the situation a little, but then I let her chill in her subspace for about 15 minutes while tied up. 

Just as I was finishing putting my new ropes away in come Thomas and Kitty with a bottle of wine and cups.  The hot tub filled up with Jackie relaxing on the sofa next to it as we chatted for at least a good hour or more.  They'd been to lunch with their kids and had gotten good news, and we were all in just happy.

Of course hands and feet were rubbing all around and by the time we got out everyone was ready for more sexual adventure.  We played for a couple of hours till there just wasn't much left in our tired bodies.  Thomas took good care of Jackie, I turned Kitty into rubber and when it was done the 2 gals hopped back into the hot tub for a relaxing finish.

We went to dinner at their house, the women both got massages, and then we played cards while sitting around naked. Life is good!!! But these are our friends.  Yes, it's more than the average relationship of couples, but it's where we are.  It's good.  It's comfortable.  And most importantly it's fun for all of us.  Don't get me wrong, like all relationships there have been some misunderstandings, but we've gotten through those, and the results are weekends like these (yes there have been other full weekends of adventures with them) that just really really are a great time for all.

So what are my takes on things?  First of all, just because something doesn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't work at all.  It has taken us 6 years to find a couple we've enjoyed playing with and figuring out what went wrong with the others.  For us it was we needed that relationship to happen. We needed a connection to hang onto before it was sexual.

For the roping side it meant that we had to work out some positions, and Jackie had to talk to me about what worked for her and what didn't.  She came up with the idea of the pillow under her hip and putting her arms up front instead of behind her ....that worked for us.

It also means that because we were willing to go outside of our box more than once, even after failure the first time, we not only have found success, but exceeded in it.  In both cases we could of let it drop and never gone back, and probably been justified in doing so.  But we didn't and because of that we have had a fantastic weekend.

Swinging weekend has definitely been a success!!!

Dane

PS, this morning Jackie asked if we could extend a day....well you can bet your bottom dollar I made that happen!!! A happy horny Jackie makes for an extremely happy and satisfied Dane!

Sexuary 2019 - Anal Fisting

Ever since our first Sexuary that we went out on a limb and started trying 'kinky' stuff, anal fisting on me has been 1 of my absolute favorites.  Honestly Jane has confided that there is something about having her hand and wrist deep in my ass that's pretty hot for her too. It's one of those that not only gets me off, but has a long lasting calming for me.  It will embrace my entire body and release all the tension from the top of my head to my toes. 

This year, once again, life tried to get in my way of this favorite of favorite nights.  It's hard make sure your sex life is a number 1 priority, and that's part of what Sexuary is about, putting it back as a priority in our relationship.  But instead of saying 'fuck it' because it got late and because Jackies day had started with her throwing up from migraines, we made it happen. I did NOT regret it. 

We tried some new lube we'd been recommended for fisting, J-Lube.  Gotta tell you, if you want to deal with cold stringy cheese that will create a spiders web of lube then this stuff will work.  One container will make a ton of lube, but so far we're not impressed.  So Jackie quickly switched back to our favoirte for this Elbow Grease.  In fairness to J-Lube I did read where you can microwave it ahead of time and it will change that 'snottiness'.  We'll try that another time when I can premix it earlier in the day. 

But Jackie caressed my asshole into opening up after a little work and sure enough she reached in and hit that spot.  There is NOTHING like when someone hits that spot deep inside of me.

So a few "FAQs" that we always get:

1) Yes, I always take about an hour ahead of time and 'clean out'.  Multiple flushes of enemas until I'm getting clear fluid.  Sometimes that's 45 minutes, sometimes that 90 minutes, but it's well worth the time for me.  And while I actually get off a little on enemas, I'll admit the 90 minute times are a lot.  

2) Yes, we use TONS of lube.  If you think you've used enough you're probably only 1/2 way there.  This is an ass, and it's not self lubricating and normally you're not putting large objects in it, so LOTs of lube is probably an understatement. 

3) Yes, sometimes it will still make a bit of a mess.  But I keep a towel under me, a towel on the side for all the toys to sit on, and a towel for Jackie to use to wipe anything she needs.  Even if it's just the mess of the lube it requires a bit of preplanning to prevent a mess. 

4) Does it hurt?  I'll admit there is 1 point right before her hand slides completely in that stretches me to my limit.  It's a bit uncomfortable and a twinge of pain...but my mind knows that little bit of pain is about to bring a lot of joy.  And honestly it's only the first time her fist goes in.  After that she can go in and out without any problem.  Once her hand has been in there my muscles relax and you could drive a Mac truck in there I think.  

5) After effects? This is the odd one to me, honestly, except for the entire body euphoria, within 5 minutes of us finishing up, my ass feels nothing out of the ordinary.  NOTHING! It doesn't hurt, it doesn't tingle, it's like it never happened.  Now we only do this every 6 - 12 weeks, so there's been no other side effects either.  Ok, honestly I'd do it more often, but it is a lot of work.  

This time Jackie surprised me by taking a couple of pictures with her hand deep in my ass.  She knows how much I love pictures, and I didn't ask, she just did it. Gotta love a partner who surprises you like that! 

You know when we started, I already loved anal play, but let's face it fisting brings it to a whole other dimension.  It was out of the box and definitely a 'kink' play for us.  AND if you read through the 2013 blog, it didn't 'just happen'.  It took us several times before my ass accepted it and her knowledge of what's back there allowed it to happen.  But we went there and tried it and today it's definitely top of my list. 

So get out there, try SOMETHING different.  You don't have to stick a hand up someones ass, though if you do bravo to you.  Maybe some finger play in an ass is a new and fantastic sensation.  Maybe just touching all over your partners body is different.  But go there and try it! Do something different and get out of that rut. 

Dane