Thursday, November 19, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Choking / Erotic Asphyxiation


We know it's not Sexuary, but that doesn't deter our desire to keep learning. During our planning of Sexuary 2020, one of the things I had come up with was choking aka Erotic Asphyxiation or EA for short.  Remember 2020 was the year that Jackie didn't know what was coming before it happened.  We just did it.  But the day that choking was on the calendar I decided I needed to talk to her first.  This isn't your ordinary kink, there are even more potential hazards then normal involved.  So I decided to let her know and see what she thought.  Her response was to pass on it that night, but to keep it around and let's try it another day.  

 Well we have since tried it a couple of times.  We have never gotten to the point that Jackie has passed out, but we have definitely constricted air flow and also blood flow.  She will go into a hyper sensitive mode, and while she won't fight me on it, she will fight herself.  "How can something I know is so wrong feel so good?" is her comment.  It will send her entire body on red alert and my touch will send her over the edge time and time again. 

Now as always I did lots of research, after all I didn't want to hurt Jackie permanently. Websites like Healthline and  askmen were where I started.  I also recommend watching the safety video at sexplations or watts the safe word.  I watched several others, but this will get you the general Idea.  Education is key here as you literally have the life of someone in your hand.

Now our play is more cutting blood flow to the brain with holding her arteries.  We have also restricted air flow by choking, but the after effects were a little longer lasting than we desired.  The blood flow to the brain restriction is just as good, and the rush when the flow resumes is powerful. Jackies orgasms during this play are extremely powerful and plentiful.  And while it's not something we'll use all the time, it is definitely in our bucket of tools to use when we want to take orgasms up a notch in the future. 


Sunday, April 5, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Nipple Piercings

So one of the things Jackie and I have talked about over the years is piercings.  I've thought about some cock piercings, she's thought about nipple and clit piercings.  Lately though Jackie had been really hinting she's really like to get her nipples pierced.  So in January I made an appointment at the Golden Goat in Round Rock for the last day of Sexuary, it would be the final painful act.I also did not tell Jackie I had done it.

We had met Guru Sean around at roping events and Texas Kink Fest, and Jackie felt comfortable with him, so I knew he'd be a good choice to go to for the piercings I made the appointment for after work. Originally I had plans to flog Jackie in a field and fuck her there, then take her to get her nipples pierced, but things didn't work our that day at all.  Honestly between Jackies back going out the last week of Sexuary and we had to make multiple trips that brought  us back home late that week, it really didn't allow us to finish Sexuary with the bang I had hoped, but I went ahead and still kept this appointment for the piercings.

It was interesting watching him measure and do all the things I wouldn't of thought of to make sure they look right when he was done.  Since I had done needle play in the areola, I knew how tough the skin was around the nipple. Watching her as he pierced each nipple, and the 2nd one was much tougher to punch through, took Jackies breath away.  My only regret is that I didn't think to put a vibrator on her clit while he was doing all that, I'm pretty sure she'd of massively cum.

To start they put bars on, and they are a bit long. I'm assuming its so they can clean them easier and so forth during the healing.  It is 3 months of care and almost a year before you can actually do much with the piercings themselves.  Jackie would like to put rings in when the bars come out.

So here we are a month later, and while she still has some discharge, it's nothing like it was.  Unlike the first couple of weeks I can now play with her breast again (though one huge orgasm did come from me grabbing her breast that 2nd weekend during sex, she said it was almost like she was ready to pass out when she came from the pain).  Neither of us thought of the constant hard nipples and the chaffing that could come with them.  So she's had to wear some bralets just to keep the nipples from rubbing directly on her shirts. But all in all it's been a great experience for her, and I look forward to the pain I will be able to induce later using those rings.


So I had been wanting my nipples pierced for a few years but never got up the nerve.  After playing with pain this year during Sexuary I knew that I would be ready for it.  

Dane totally surprised me with the appointment.  I have learned not ask questions on where we are going because he usually won't tell me anyhow.  We drove up to The Golden Goat and my thought was a new tattoo not piercing.  He then told me that we were there to see Sean so I knew that it was piercing time.
Sean took us to his piercing room, where he has be raise my shirt but lower my arms to measure and place his marks on there he would pierce.  He then got all the bars and equipment into the sterilization box and told us to go pay, fill out forms and look around while everything was getting ready.

Well he then lets us know that all is ready and for me to come back in.  I get up on his table and raise my shirt.  I am breathing deeply, and a little nervous .  He starts on the left side,he cleans me off, pinches and pulls and tells me to take a deep breath. He pokes needle thru...I flinched a little, not bad.  This is usually my sensitive side so I was really surprised by the fact that while it hurt it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected.  So on to the other side.  Same process, clean, pinch, pull and tells me to take a deep breath. This time as I take a deep breath he pokes, and holy shit did that hurt.  He is having a hard time getting the needle to poke all the way thru.  FUCK does it hurt.  I thought he was never going to get it thru the other side. 
 After it was all said it done, I decided that a bra would hurt.  Well Its just the opposite. being without one hurt more.  my nipples hurt because of the weight on them, then who knew that your nipples stay hard all the time now. Now my nipples are chaffed, discharging a creamy white cream and sore as fuck.  I try for several days to not sleep in a bralett or anything. but I just can't.  Skin to skin contact hurts, I have to have something in between them and Dane.

It took about 2 weeks  before the constant pain went away.  4 weeks before I could lay up against Dane without hurting.  We have slowly started playing with my boobs again.  The first time I thought I was going to pass out from the pain but it was a feel good pain.  We will have to continue playing  and trying things to see  how, what and what doesn't bring me to that pleasure/pain threshold.  

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Sex in the Office

Sex in places other than the bedroom have always been more exciting.  It's the 'you shouldn't be doing that' part of it. We've played in fields where we could hear passing cars.  We've played in the car on the side of the road. We've played at other peoples houses when they didn't know. In public pools. In public parks. In a lake in front of hundreds. So why not work?  It solved a problem I had for timing.  In my case it's not that difficult, I have my own office and very few visitors.

Of course the day I have this planned my boss decides to come visit my office. Thankfully he gave me enough of a heads up to avoid being caught in the act. Now that will get your heart beating. Finally the door gets shut, the lube magically appears from in my computer bag, and panties pulled to the side ready for a good fucking.

So not everyone can fuck in their office, but there are places that are 'naughty' or exciting.  A quickie with that kind of excitement on occasion is a great.

Have a place you'd like to secretly have sex at? A secret desire of almost getting caught? DO IT!!! It's exhilarating!


I started the day texting Dane that today we would fuck in his office.  I had teased him all day in texts.  When I got to the office we were just talking since we knew that his boss who was supposed to call to tell us to meet us outside walks in the door. ....I swear that he was just talking and talking and talking.  I couldn't exactly tell him to leave, but dang it he needs to leave damn it!

Well after what felt like hours, (it was really about 15 minutes) We had a quickie in the office.  My skirt was pulled up over my waist, my panties pushed to the side, some lube was used and we fucked.  

This is not the first time we fucked in his office and I am certain it won't be the last time.  Sometimes that quickie is just what the doctor ordered.


Sexuary 2020 - Spanking Bench

So about 6 months ago I purchased a nice spanking bench.  I love the idea of having Jackie on the bench and taking advantage of her in sooooo many ways. But the one I've always wanted that we've never gotten was to paddle her.  Her relatives were school teachers and I've got 2 original school paddles that are at least 40 years old each.  Oh the excitement of getting to use them has had me excited for years.

The problem is that every time we've breached the subject of paddling, Jackie gets into meltdown mode pretty quickly.  We've talked about it many times. During sex I can spank her ass like nobodies business, but just bending her over the bench to spank is a rough one. I want to be clear, we've talked about this and I know Jackies limits.  She also knows I'd stop in a heartbeat if she's heading to a bad place.  I would never do anything to Jackie that was a hard no!

But I knew that I couldn't just bend Jackie over the spanking bench and start paddling her.  This sexuary the wartenberg wheel has been one of those things that will get her to relax.  So I started with the wheels on her back and then added some hand spankings.  Some as I'm running the wheel, some just by themselves (like 5 on each cheek).

After I got her ass a bit warmed up I took a ping pong paddle and kept up with the wheel.  Her ass is a nice pink by now and well warmed up.

So I pulled out the first paddle and popped her ass in between rolls of the wheel.  About 10 pops (and mind you these are not full swings ...but it is a real paddle popping her ass) she starts to cry. Not a cry of pain from the paddle though, I can tell that.  So I lean in to talk to her, she tells me she's ok and to please keep going. She promises me she's not in a bad place, and it's not anything about the paddling.

I trust Jackie. We've been in similar places before and I believe her. Whatever it is we'll deal with, but for now we'll keep going. Ten more swats with the second paddle and then I finish up. I give her extra aftercare.  I have her lay on me and I rub her for about 30 minutes as she comes back down from her space.

Later that night when I felt it was a good time we talked again. In the past I've asked her dozens of times why she goes south when we talk about paddling and she's never had an answer. She swears she didn't know. Well, while I was paddling her she had an image of her begging her mom to stop paddling her. She had done something and was getting spanked. She doesn't remember the incident, it's just these images she got while we were scene'ing.  We don't know how this will play out in the long run.  It could be that she's got answers now and spanking/paddling won't be an issue anymore. It could be that it will only get worst. It will be something I'll have to watch in the future.

But we always try to tell the good with the bad, and we're not sure where this comes yet, but at the moment it wasn't the best of things. How it was handled from the time the emotions appeared to the time we totally ended the scene is very important. If you didn't know your bottom you could have a serious issue. This is why communication before, during and after is so important. If I hadn't know Jackie like I did I would of immediately ended the scene and gone straight to aftercare when the first tear hit.

After all was said and done, it was a good scene.  One we'll try again, keeping in mind what happened this time and watching closely for emotions rising.  We'll talk and deal with whatever might come.


So Dane had me go to the spanking bench, once again blind folded. I laid across it, he starts his usual touch routine, now we have added the wheels(OMG my #1 thing from this month).  This time pop....touch..pop pop pop.  I knew he was warming me up, I had no idea what he was using tho. 
I knew it eventually got to the paddles.  The paddles that have been hidden for as long I can remember.  Paddles that have memories attached but not my memories. Hell one has masking tape around it from when it was used at school and broke against a 4th graders butt.

Pop pop pop pop...other things, pop pop pop...and the tears start to flow...Not just little tears but sobs..They won't stop, they just flow.  Dane asks if I was ok, I tell him yes yes I am.  I practiclly beg for him to not stop.  I know in a moments notice if my body language changes,or I shut down.  He will shut the scene off. I knew I needed to do this.  To see if I could get answers, to try to figure out why this is a NO and has been for a long while.
I can tell you from past experiences its not my thing.  I go into a negative rabbit-hole.  Lost for days or weeks before I can snap out of it.   We have tried to figure out my trigger, what does it look like, what does it feel like, what does it smell like. I have never been about to tell him, I have never been able to tell anyone what happened in the past.  I can tell you there are several years that I don't have a lot of memories of.  Years.  Years to only have one or two memories.  Some good some not so good.  But not once did I have anything that was about my mom.   Today, this spanking session sparked something. It still has yet to reveal the whole thing.  I was telling Dane my filing cabinet has been opened and a file folder has been dumped, I am having a hard time seeing whats in the folder, I see pictures or flashes but the memory is just not there.  I can hear myself saying things but don't know what lead up to that or what followed.  I can hear myself saying "I am sorry mommy, I promise to be a good girl" I can see where it happened.  I am not sure I want to know.  My mom is gone so I can't ask her, my dad is gone I can't ask him.  It was before a sibling was born.  I know as I look back in the past I can see stuff that makes total sense now that I didn't understand then.  Sometimes we have to go thru our trigger and see.  Sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you don't really want to open that can of worms.  However to move forward, you have to sometimes do the hard /bad to get to the soft/good.  
 I have done a lot of soul searching this month.  Trying to figure out what makes me tick the way it does.  
Dane did great after care after my breakdown.  He knew and still knows I have to piece together stuff.  He knows this is not going to fix itself, he knows exactly how much to push me.  He knows I will share with him when I am ready. He knows that right now I am not in a negative space.  He also knows he is my safe space.  You guy this couldn't have happened if I didn't trust Dane 110%.  Its taken years for that trust to build to get here.  Even tho we are here, I still have to let go of my control and let him take total control of me, its been a hell of a month!


Sexuary 2020 - Caning

For whatever reason (and we've talked about it many times with no real knowledge of where it came from) the mention of spanking Jackie sends her down a rabbit hole fast.  Spanking her while in the middle of sex is ok, flogging is ok, but spanking and instruments used to spank will quickly turn things south mentally.So part of the reason she doesn't know what is coming up each day is so that she doesn't get to go down those rabbit holes prior to trying new things. We've experienced it several times over the years, so we know the risk is real.

CaningSo caning definitely falls into that category. I've really wanted to try it on her but know if I told her that it would not go well. So I didn't.  Before we started playing I blindfolded her.  I put her up against the St Andrews Cross where she generally has a great time.  I started using the wartenberg wheels on her and then I stepped back and popped her under her ass cheeks several times.  I could sense the surprise in Jackie, BUT she didn't call out any safe words.  After a couple more minutes with the wartenberg wheel I popped her again.  After some rubbing and more wartenberg wheel I asked her what color she was at, "yellowish green". After a bit more playing and again a color check she was "green".  We were good, she'd jumped over the rabbit hole and would enjoy the moment.

I found the canes here at Amazon. They are a 2 pack and are slightly different.I got to use both on Jackie before pulling her down from the cross to finish her.

So why would I try something like this? First the endorphins for pain and pleasure are the same ones, it's the headspace and situation you're in that dictates whether it's orgasmic or hurtful.  The same canes could be just hurtful if misused.Second, there is something about an ass that has a bright red glow that is such a turn on for me. And last, how will Jackie ever conquer those fears and rabbit holes without her body and mind KNOWING that they are good things, not bad.  So repetitive good events will hopefully over come her mental anguish of spankings and the tools that go with them.

Try it at home. Use your hand, a belt, a ping pong paddle, and just try a bit of spanking play, you might find it more adventurous that you ever though.


Caining....hmmmm who knew...So over the years Dane and I have talked and tried it.  I did not have an good ending.  I am not sure what has caused it but just know the times we have tried a spanking day, Dane really enjoyed it.  I totally checked out and while I was there physically but not there mentally. 
This year our our "real" lives we have done lots of firsts, and talked for hours upon hours about our kinks, our limits, our hard no's, our ok lets try things.  That leads us up to today.  Caning.  I had no idea that this was planned. He is right I would have gone down a negative rabbit-hole.  

He blind folded me and took me to our dungeon and placed me at the cross.  He ran his hands up and down knowing it help get me into the space he needed me to be.  He got out the wheels...OMG the wheels...I just love them, then right in the middle of a great movement....whap...wait..what was that...whap....oh shit what is it....whap....did he get a new single flogger....whap ...oh hell never mind....let me be in this moment.  I remember him whispering asking me my color...I remember having to get my thoughts back in check to answer.  I remember saying yellowish-green.  I am not sure what I was thinking or not thinking but I do know I was not in a negative space at all.  I do remember tearing up but not sure why but knew it was a good cry not a bad one.  I told him I was good, and I really was.

So I do like the idea of 2 things going on at once.  Really does my mind good, things to stay focused on, things that help me not go down the rabbit-hole.  

Dane has done a great job pushing my limits, helping me figure out things...


Sunday, February 9, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Cupping

As part of the planning for this Sexuary, I ordered both glass cups for cupping and a plastic set with hand pump. Today was the day to break them out. Now before today I've watched several videos, but the best one I found was here.

I didn't let Jackie know what we were doing, I just had her lay on the massage table, face down. I had prepared the cups, and had a candle lit with my firewand soaking in 91% isopropyl alcohol. Every place I went  91% is recommended over the standard 70%.  I was able to find it at Walmart. So everything was ready.

The first couple I attempted stuck ok, but weren't the best. I wasn't quick enough from the flame to the skin, but they all did stick and they all did draw in skin. 

I then used a couple of the hand pump cups on her legs. I had a few issues till I realized the center piece had to be pulled up sometimes prior to using the pump.  I also had to play with the amount of pumps to use.  I started with 4, WAY to many. 2 seemed to be the magic number. Tight enough to do the work, soft enough to be able to get them off.

This is just 1 more thing on our bucket list that we've had that we can now cross off. One of the great parts about this is we now everything we need to do this time and time again. The glass cups in particular are good for a long time if taken care of.

We're well along into Sexuary now. What do you have planned that is different then you usually do? What can you and your partner do that will enhance your sex life, or maybe it's just your relationship you need to enhance, but something like a massage, or cupping, or a huge hug can make a difference.


Sexuary 2020 - Fireplay

So one of the things I had planned for this month was a bit of fireplay.  We've seen it done many times, but had not ever tried it. So what better time to try it then during Sexuary.  No it's not an orgasmic thing, but it does feel great.

So I had ordered a pack of firewands (though you could use a cotton ball and a hemostat) and found some mousse that had alcohol in it (I know so little about mouse, but I figured out some don't have it). Really that's all you need.

Well just like the needles, I wanted to practice myself prior to trying on Jackie.  So while Jackie has taken off I pulled everything out and tried it out. Other than the singed hairs on my leg (yeah, I really though that one through). It was a nice warm sensation as the whoosh ran across my leg.  I hit the mousse again with the firewand and off it went again and again.  I wiped the mousse off and did it again and again. It was pretty cool.

So it wasn't what was on the agenda for the night, Jackies adventures had brought her in late the night before when we were supposed to, so I decided to try it that night instead, as I knew she'd enjoy it. I cleared the linen off the massage table and put her on there then got the stuff out.

I drew my design on her back and whoosh the fire lit up.

I did several patterns and tried different ways of lighting the designs to see if I could get them to go longer.  We did down her legs and then her belly too before we were all done. Other than the fact I really needed a tripod to get all the videos I wanted it was pretty cool. Over all we spent about 45 minutes lighting fires and watching them go.  Another thing off our bucket list to learn.


Sexuary 2020 - Roll Playing

One of the things Jackie and I aren't the best at is talking during sex. Occasionally there are some sounds, but we're really not much of talkers during sex. We have a friend how has bragged about her roll playing sexcapades, so I decided to throw that into this sexuary.

I got the room ready, had brought in everything needed to play doctor and told Jackie what to wear (a skirt and shirt with no panties or bra.

The annual exam included breast exam, reflex exam (using the wartenberg wheel of course), then of course the speculum went in and then I had to test her orgasmic reflexes using her vibrator. For the record she passed with flying colors. I then used a soft sound and got it about 3" in and then decided to use a steel sound.  Yeah that didn't work so well for Jackie. But hey we learned. I then did a little fisting on her using gloves (no better than without gloves). We ended up by the doctor taking advantage of his already orgasmic patient, bending her over the exam table, lifting her skirt and taking advantage of her. 

We had to communicate during the 'exam' portion, still not great during the sex part, but hey it was definitely something different for us.

We tried 2 new thing with the roll playing and the sounds on her. I know the sound wasn't a big thing for her, and maybe another time we'll try it.  The roll play was a bit awkward, but I think if we did it a couple more times it could get better. I told her I have it scheduled 1 more time this month with a different scenario, so we'll see.


Sunday, February 2, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Needle Play

One of the things Jackie had expressed an interest in was needle play.  We've seen it several times at events we've gone to and it intrigued us. We've actually been to classes on this taught at Kink Fest by Guru Sean. We've also seen his extreme works where he goes all the way up to hooks.

So class taken, and supplies ordered.  I've pulled out a couple of each needle size and tried them on my leg just to practice a bit and to know a bit what it feels like and practice a bit of technique. I really believe anyone who would do something like needle play should know what they are inflicting on anyone they are applying it to.

Even though Jackie wants this she's a bit nervous the day of.  I try to keep her calm and we get her on the massage table.  We're going to work on her upper back today. I've let her pick the spot, though I tell her we'll want to try other spots. I wipe the spot down and make sure it's clean and sterile, gloves on, the box with needles ready and here we go.

I've got an idea, I want to make a heart on her back, but not sure how it's going to work, but like all of Sexuary I'll be flexible if I run into problems. Of course I start with the smallest needles we have.  I put in a few of them. I have to admit Jackies reaction isn't exactly what I expected.  She's having to breath through each stick.  My inexperience has a couple of the needles going further under the skin then others. This is not what I'm wanting for a 1st time try. 

The heart, well let's just say the attempt at a heart, quickly disappears. I can't create the curves needed to make the heart. I'm sure it's doable but it's not happening today, by me. Plan B, be creative and make it look ok. So I create a symmetrical pattern (my logical mind at work). I use every size needle we have.  She definitely feels the larger ones, but honestly not as much as I was afraid she would. 

Twenty-one needles later we were finished. I felt that was a great place to stop. I'd of loved to try a couple of other spots, but sometimes knowing when to stop is the most important part of any kind of play.

Now I think Jackie thought I was going to let her off easy, but this is Sexuary 2020, the pancentric month of sex.  I hadn't seen any orgasms happen yet. So I grabbed the magic wand and while Jackie was still on the table I applied it to ...well you get the idea.  It didn't take long before a mind blowing orgasm hit.  The pain of the needles turning to pure pleasure as her body blew it's orgasmic gasket.

While removal of the needles can have some pain, they honestly don't hurt much pulling them out (I know from experience even).  Needles all put into the collection box, the alcohol rubs definitely burn a bit as I clean up a little of the mess. I put meat packing over the area (the absorbent pads that are on the bottom of the meat packaging work great for this, thank you Guru Sean),  and we go to relax. For the rest of the night Jackie definitely knows she's been needled, but it's not unbearable, and at times, it's just a gentle reminder of the great afternoon we've had together.

If you're interested in needle play I suggest you find someone who is in it, ask LOTS of questions, try it on a thigh or something on yourself to see what you're getting into. Read what you can. I think I've spent about $30 in total for 250 needles of varying size, and all the gloves, etc.  I took an old coffee can and made it into my needle collection (sealed the top, cut a slit in for hte needles and marked it as hazardous).  So it's an inexpensive 'kink' to try out.

Sexuary is in full fling you have any plans? Are you going to do something different for Sexuary 2020 this year? You still have time, go for it!


Needle play, well I asked for it.  I have actually been asking for it for a while but we just never have done it.  So that was certainly one that would be on the calendar this year.

I had told Dane that I was nervous. I wasn't sure what I was to feel or how to feel but I can tell you that it wasn't anything I have felt before.  

I have gotten tattoos before and this can't even compare.  From the very littlest needle to the biggest one I had to breath through each and everyone.  It was painful but not painful enough to stop.  Once all the needles were in, it actually didn't hurt as bad.  I didn't get up and walk around but I did move my arm around to see what it felt like.  I could feel them but it was not terrible.  It did not make me cum while he was placing needles, it still  was exciting.  It really didn't take long when Dane got out the the wand to make me come.

The after effects felt like I had a slight sunburn and maybe a little heat like you get when you have a shot or tattoo.  

We will defiantly be looking at this again.  Once is truly not a real experience.   

Sexuary 2020 - Flogging

This is not a new subject for us. Flogging is something Jackie and I have enjoyed it for a couple of years.  Last year we blogged here about flogging.  Since then we've added several more floggers to our arsenal and have continued to enjoy them. 

Normally pain is not the point of our flogging, but when paincentric is the plan for the month, well you flog a bit harder.  Now we did some sensation work prior to flogging, and when I started I warmed Jackie up with 100 or so lashes as a low level.  Afterwards I started adding a bit more swing to it, until we were at a good swing and the lashes were leaving red marks down Jackies back and ass.  She was moaning and groaning with each stroke, and when she got to a point let me know she was at 'yellow'.  I didn't stop, but I was much more particular about my strokes.

When we were done I had to lay Jackie down on the massage table.  Her eyes were rolled and she was shaking.  After some water and chocolate and about 30 minutes she was back to reality.  I put lotion on her back and while she felt the effects of for the rest of the night, in the morning she was fine and no marks were left.

Now in the meantime there was literally a puddle of cum under Jackie where she had orgasmed.She's came over and over again while we were flogging.  The pain turned to pure pleasure. The fine line between pleasure and pain and pain as pleasure is remarkable.  The endorphins created on either one are the same endorphins and Jackies' experienced it yesterday while I flogged her. 

On a side note, we have a friend we introduced to flogging.  When she first started she was scared and was very hesitant.  Once she experienced it, by someone who knew her and cared, and wasn't just an asshole trying to beat her, she realized how extremely exciting it can be. She LOVES flogging now.  You MUST trust the flogger (DOM) to know you and know your limits. You must not play with a wanna-be DOM who just wants to beat someone.  It's imperative that you protect yourself with knowledge so you don't get hurt. But don't be afraid of flogging, it's a great tool in reaching new heights.

Again, we don't get any money from them, but has always treated us fantastic and has a great product for a great price.


Flogging....what can I say I love flogging. There is no way to describe the feeling that happens as your body crosses over the pain/pleasure threshold. I could feel my eyes roll back in my head, my breathing changing as I slipped into sub space.  Due to going back and forth into subspace, I can only tell you that I really enjoyed this flogging session, yes it was much harder than we have ever done but the feeling of release I had and have had thru all of this is more than I can describe. 

 I remember a big puddle under me when Dane had to lead me back to the table to rest.  I know I drank so water, some chocolate to help with my lightheaded head rush. Then I remember going to sleep for about an hour. 

I was able to get into subspace because I totally trust Dane.  He is my dom and knows exactly how much to push me and what to do for aftercare.

Friday, January 31, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Our Dungeon

Every once in a while the stars align and we get one of our bucket list wishes come true.  That happened for us when our 4 bedroom house became vacant except for Jackie and I.  What does that mean? It means we have PLENTY of room to do whatever we want in our house, and no one to wonder in 'accidently'.  So what did we do? We took all the toys we've purchased or built over the last 14 years and built a dungeon! I mean an honest to goodness dungeon!

We've enjoyed many kinks over the last several years (as you can read in this blog) and so we've added to our 'tools of the trade'.  We have the rack that can be used for rope suspension and I've added an adult swing for this Sexuary.

When a local dungeon was moving they had some of their equipment for sale, so when the spanking bench came up we snagged it.  It's way over kill for anything Jackie and I would use (it has hand clamps, and a male masturbater built into it.  It's very sturdy and while if I was building one I'd make some adjustments, for the $50 we paid for it is a great addition to our new dungeon area.

For those of you who build I'd make the center piece and the legs a bit adjustable so that the ass height and the comfort of the sub is better met.

Next we've got a massage table. OH the many uses this table has. Yes, we've done massages on it, but we've also used it as a bed. The head piece pulls out and so you have a square end to lay on. The legs are adjustable, so the height is perfect for Jackie to be laying on it and for me to have a straight shot into her treasure chest.

You'll notices the chaise lounger in the corner.  I know the old 50's movies used them to make the ladies look sexy, but Jackie can bend over the end, lay ass up, or ...well just us your imagination as to what all you can do with it.

Last is the St Andrews Cross I built a year or two ago.  I've built a frame for the bottom with the intentions of taking it places with us over the next year.  A couple of pins and 1 bolt and it will totally come apart and pack away.

The mats on the floor (which we've moved) really do make a difference when you're standing on the floor.  These are from Walmart and are 6 - 1/2" mats for $12.  We have about 125 sq/ft of matting on our floors now. They also are very easy to clean when Jackie gets very orgasmic. 

In the closet we have everything from floggers to needles, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, masturbators, nipple and clit clamps, rope and suspension equipment, TENS units, Violet Wand, other electrical attachments, and anything else we've come across and wanted/needed over the years and of course plenty of lubes. 

We haven't played with everything here, the needles are coming but we are prepared, and there are other boxes I haven't unveiled yet so I can surprise Jackie when the time comes.  When we do have something we like, we go ahead and get good equipment and make sure we have a variety of them. Floggers for instance, we have 6 or 7 of them, varying weight and lengths (Get your flogger at Steven there will treat you right!). 

While over the decades we've spent plenty of money on putting everything in this dungeon together, it's not like the equipment in there is thousands of dollars. We probably have $500 - $600 dollars in floor equipment.  That's all 5 pieces. And if you're a great shopper like Jackie you could probably do it for less.The spanking bench was $50, because we just keep our eyes open for deals like that. You could probably find a massage table and other things for a dungeon. We have another $500 - $750 in 'toys' in the closet.  A lot of that stuff was purchased before Amazon and Wish were around and big into adult toys and gadgets, and has taken us almost 15 years to accumulate. So start small and go from there. Scan through and see things that are intriguing to you and get them. Soon you'll have your own collection for a dungeon if you're lucky like Jackie and I are. 


Sexuary 2020 - Playing with Sparks

So electricity is nothing new to Jackie and I. It is not a front shelf item, but it is something we breakout from time to time.  When I think of paincentric electricity definitely fits into that category.  There is a working through the pain that brings you to a pleasure that won't be reached otherwise.

This time though our rules changed a bit. In the past the person receiving the electricity has always been in control of the device.  You control the power, and most of the time you even dictated where and how long it would go on an area.  In our paincentric experiment I took that away from Jackie.

The beauty of electricity is it doesn't just stay where you put it, but it travels through the body.  The initial spark will tantalize the area, it can hurt so good!

We happen to have a professional TENS unit, but we also have a Violet Wand (knockoff) and a new Therapy Pen. 
Wish link
This little device is powered by 1 AA battery, and kicks a nice punch. For about $6 from wish you can have one too. When you have your hand on your partner and touch them with the pen you'll feel the electricity, no matter how far away your hand is. While I don't feel anything until about level 5, Jackie felt it at 1, so sensitivity is an individual thing. We never got to 9 last night.

Additionally, years ago we purchased an electric wand.  It's not a true Violet Wand (brand name) but does a great job. These start about $40 on Amazon.  They are WONDERFUL! Different attachments do different things. The experience you can create with this little device would definitely add to any spanking bench or St Andrews Cross. 

Amazon Link

Afterwards Jackie mentioned she'd like to pull this one further to the front of the list than it has been in the past. So I think it went over well.

On a side note, I also broke out a spreader bar for the first time.  It wasn't necessary for the play we were doing, but it was a great time to introduce something new.  They went over well actually. Better than I thought. I have other plans for it over the month, and now know she won't freak out over having them put on.

Where are you at on your Sexuary? Any plans? It officially starts in 2 days, so you still have time to plan something, ANYTHING different for next month.  Be it 1x or 29 times, do something out of your box!


Playing with I do not know what we are doing each day, Only Dane does.  This being said I knew that this would be a great night of play.  I started the evening with a margarita, a hot bath and an edible that I had made....Hot baths always mean a good clean shaved pussy afterwards...So after I ate the edible I got way over heated and quickly got out of the bath and got to my chair to cool off.  I had a pretty good buzz going as I sat there.  After about 30-45 mins I told Dane I was good to go.  

I thought I still had my buzz going but it wasn't long after getting into the leg spreader that he began tonight's session. I had been blindfolded so I couldn't see anything.  I heard a click click click as something came on. My mind going thru the roller deck of sounds...nope not this toy....nope not this one...well I never would have guessed it since it was a new one. He stroked it up and down...It was an electric pen type thing..I could tell it was a small head and not the violet wand.  While it wasn't painful, it did not get me to the edge like we had hoped.  He switched to the violent wand again it was great but never really got me to the edge.  Even his normal touching never got me to the edge. It was then that we both realized I was no longer high.  We did stop and lay together and talk about all that had happened this night, going thru the "thorns and roses" of the evening.  We did go later and finish up, after all this is Sexuary and its about both of us enjoying ourself.

While we haven't always played while I was high, we specifically know that it helps me with the Anixety of the unknown.  That while I don't want to be so high that I can't function, I do like the euphoria that makes my nerves on fire.  I love it really to be honest.  So this night was a bit of a let down due to that, but only due to that.  We discussed that I don't want this electricity s to go into the "back of the closet"  I would like to revisit it, both high and not...Jackie


Thursday, January 30, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Overcoming Fears

So one of the new things Jackie has been worried about is the spanking bench.  I have obvious plans for it over the month, but they are frightful for Jackie, it's one of the reasons she doesn't know what the calendar has on it day to day.  I don't want her to get into her head before she can enjoy it.  It happened during one of our first Sexuarys and didn't want it to happen again.

Yesterday she was planning on taking a trip for the rest of the week, and had said that my lovely wife would be waiting bent over and waiting to be taken when I got back from work.  Well plans changed again, but she promised she'd still be bent over, I'd just have to find where she was bent over at.

I got home from work, 75% stripped before the garage door was closed and I was in the house looking for my bride. When I found her she was bent over on the spanking bench, her ass up in the air and begging to be taken.  After a few rips of my nails down her back I took advantage of her, all the while spanking her ass.

SHE alone chose that as the staring point, and it was to over come her fear of the bench.  How many things in life, but especially sexually do we avoid because we fear it?  I hear all the time how people are afraid of a flogger, or rope tying, or so many other things that if you got over the stigma and fear you might find you enjoy it. Don't let fear keep you from trying something sexually.  Anal is another so many fear, and yet I've told you how even I love a good ass fucking.  Take it slow, you don't jump in with both feet to start, but try it, whatever 'it' might be.

I had to carry Jackie off the bench she enjoyed it so much.  Her legs were weak and she was spent.  The floor was soaked and she was well satisfied.


PS, I LOVED the nice red hand prints on her ass when we were done.

So as we were prepping for Sexuary we pulled all our stuff out to get our own dungeon put together.  After seeing it set up I had a some anxiety.  Not sure why because most of it we had played with over the last several years so there was really nothing I should have been scared of.  There was a piece of furniture that we had purchased a few months ago that of course Dane had pulled in, pushed all the buttons , turned it off and on. He was very excited about all the potential things it could be used for.  So he brought it inside.  It sat there in the corner, staring at me, of course my mind went into freak out mode...I told Dane one day driving that the only thing that worried me in the room was the spanking bench.  I couldn't explain why but dang it did.

So here we are beginning Sexuary, I have had several days of being high and my nerves were LIT.  They seem to stay that way even a day or two later I am still electrified. I did take another hit off my bong and waited until I knew he was almost home from work. 
I had been teasing him all day long with text about being bent over and wonder where I would be.  I wouldn't tell him where I would be and that he needed to find me.  

So I went into our play room and decided that I would conquer that beast in the corner.  I layed over on it, put my wrist in the holders and waited.  

Dane did an amazing job getting me warmed up, getting me excited.  It was the one of the best nights we have had.  I was still on fire even when we went to bed I could still remember each and every touch, scratch, handprint, bite, kiss, touch.  I replayed them over and over in my head all night long.  I woke myself up dreaming about a great orgasm 2 times that night.  I can't remember the last time I did that.  

With all this being said, I conquered a fear.  A fear of the unknown, a fear of  what could happen, a fear of  fear, a fear of whatif....What did I do...I took my fear and conquered it.



Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - Starting Sexuary a Bit High

We've always said we've had to be very flexible with Sexuary.  Our calendar is a great start but things happen and we have to be able to go with the flow. So of course we've had 2 major changes that have changed the calendar, and...well we've unofficially started Sexuary.  So totally unplanned, more it was meant to be in prep for Sexuary, we started.

So over the last year Jackie has had a couple of very positive experiences with pot.  A friend offered her some, and with my being ok with it, she imbibed.  Now when I was a teenager I experimented with some pot, but that was 40 years ago, and honestly I don't remember other than the munchie and spacing out anything about it. I sure don't remember the names Indica or Sativa. But during her playing around we found that she got, let's say very sensitive. My touching her skin would send her into a trance and to say she'd be very susceptible to monkey loving sex would be an understatement.  This fall we tried again and were disappointed when we found out that the Indica does not have the same effect the Sativa did, or the mix we found in California edibles.

So Jackie found some Sativa for Sexuary and was 'testing it out' and yeap, that was the stuff she'd tried before that did the trick.  My nails running along her belly, my bites on her breast and thighs, my lips on her clit all sent her nerves over the top.  Her orgasms were plentiful and over the top.  When done she had a couple of hickies, maybe a bite mark or 2 and the bed was soaked from the days adventures. Sexuary has started off with a bang.

Now I don't care you're position on pot. What I'm talking about is the side effects it has for Jackie sexually, and let me tell you they are positive! It's not like a drunk where you just get numb, it's like you've been electrocuted and all your nerves are firing...and oh boy that sure can make sex great.

I don't know the effects on everyone else, but the couple of edibles Jackie has made for this Sexuary should make it an interesting month.


PS, we're still 'officially' days away from Sexuary.  If your sex life isn't 100% perfect, NOW is the time to do something. Make a change! Do something different this month you don't normally do! The the aggressor, be the submissive, go neck in the car, sext with your partner, do SOMETHING different, now is the time to plan and execute that plan.

Jackie as you can see we have been playing around with pot.  Which one would do "the trick"? Which one causes a great buzz but yet makes your nerves on edge with electricity and which one doesn't? Which one makes you sleeping, hungry or or or or...

In our trying things out over the course of a year or so its been hard to nail it down.  Was it Sativa or Indica (I mean 30 years ago the question was is it skunk or not) The person whom I had been smoking with had no clue what she had since it was given to her. When I went to Cali I had to explain that I was a recreational user and that meant maybe 3 times a year in the last year.  They just suggested some edibles (which were awesome) but I didn't know until last week what they were.  

So this brings us to last fall.  I  get some "Sticky Garcia" which I later found out was an Indica Blend.  I made it into edibles and while I loved the "chilling" out part, in no way shape or form did it set me on fire.  Almost the opposite, I have now being taking them to sleep better.  I sleep hard as a rock after I eat an Indica ball. 

This past week I contacted someone and told them specifically I wanted Sativa and make it good.  I talk the talk but really have no idea about we pick it up, I have now bought a bong, a grinder, and storage to hopefully keep that wonderful smell  from being all over the house. I get home and have a hit or two not sure what to expect. Wondering is this what I was hoping or is this gonna be another let down.  Well let me tell you THIS is the stuff....Sexy flavor right now is Orange Crush...Holy Shit once it hit it was like every nerve in my body was on fire.  The breeze from the fan made me tingle, the clothes on my body were too much.  I can tell you each and every nerve in my body was LIT. 

Dane took me to the bedroom and trailed his nails up and down my body it was like  nothing I had experienced.  It was pure hot bliss.  You can't fight your body reactions the only thing you can do is roll with it.  Man did I roll.  Between the nails, the biting, the scratching, the spankings and (I am sure I am missing something) It was like no other time.  There is NOTHING that can compare to it.  It is even hard to put it down on paper the feeling of pure ecstasy, orgasms that roller over and over and over harder than the one before. OMG my eyes roll back in my head just thinking about it... 

So just remember if your going to experiment, start slow.  One or two tokes, one edible until you know how you react.  Sexy sativa or indca(in-da-couch) Any questions use this chart to help or ask.  If I don't know I will find out for you!--Jackie

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Sexuary 2020 - A Paincentric Month

Now that we're in 2020, and Sexuary is fast approaching, Jackie and I have had the opportunity to discuss and decide on what we wanted to do this year that would be different.  For those of you new to Sexuary, it was brought to us from Christine Moers and her blog Welcome to My Brain. Her challenge was to do something different sexually with your partner during the month of February, hence Sexuary.  To some, that means having being intimate for the first time in forever.  For some, that meant pushing your boundaries.  So Jackie and I have done variations of Sexuary over the years, from sex every other day ....which led to the year of sex every day for a month, to trying out different kinks, now that's where our lives changed.

So we've tried, and keep trying different kinks that allow us to grow sexually. Things we never would of thought we'd like, we do! Things we weren't ready for mentally (and let's face it sex is every bit as much sexual as it is physical) we are now.

So in our discussions, Jackie mentioned she would like to try a month centered around pain.  For those of you who don't know, pain and pleasure are close cousins.  The endorphins release in both are the same.  Your body can reach to pain all the way to an orgasm if you're very present and learn to use those endorphins. You can fly high on pain like nothing else. So this year we are going to be focusing on pain, and different ways to introduce it to the body.

The other thing we decided is that while there will be a calendar, only I will know what's on that for 25 of the 29 days, and Jackie will know what's on the other 4 without my knowledge.  There is no chance to over thing the pain coming for that day.  It will just happen in it's own time. On Mondays Jackie is in charge of the pain, and I will switch and be the bottom.  1) I enjoy giving up control sometimes, 2) I think every top should have the experience of being a bottom to see what they are doing, it helps when boundaries are getting close to know why those are there. Additionally we've added that every 4th day Jackies vagina will get a break.  Now, not to say there won't be any activities, but unless she just begs for it, those 4th days will have to find other ways to orgasm, ahhh the challenges.

So my challenge was set before me and I have created my 2020 calendar.  Of course we'll be blogging as we go, but unlike in the past we won't post a calendar of what's to come. 

And while obviously things like flogging, which we've already blogged about, will be in the mix, I have at least 10 different elements that we have not done before. Now some of these we've watched. Some we've taken classes on, either through Texas Kink Fest, or various organizations we've attended events with over the last several years.I will let out, since Jackie already knows, that we will be playing with needles some. We've found the art to be beautiful, and Jackie was very interested. So we've taken a class, I've ordered the material needed and we're going to try it.  Now for the record, we are using very small gauge needles, and at least at this time Jackie isn't desiring hooks or other large least for now. Pain as pleasure, all rolled into one.

Hopefully Jackie will put her two cents in as to her experiences as we try new things. We like to give both perspectives when we can. It's interesting when you see it from the others vantage point sometimes.

So there you have it. Most of the packages have arrived, my calendar is penciled in (always able to erase and change things around), and now we wait til January 30th.  This year due to other plans we're going to go from 1/30 - 2/27, with the 27th being a huge surprise for Jackie, oh I can't wait. We hope you'll join us on our journey and comment or question as we go along. If you're joining in on Sexuary, let us know! We love to know others are joining in, pushing their limits sexually, going where they don't generally go.  And we'll share some specifics on where we've learned some of these things as we go so if you want to try them you know where to get now we wait...oh the hardest part.