Sexuary 2015 - Sex Toy Myth Buster

So before we get started with Sexuary 2015, I felt like maybe we should go over some myths about sex toys.  There are plenty out there and if we’re going to talk about how they can make your sex life better, we should understand what they can and can’t do. 

Myth – Toys are for just for lonely women

Fact – The adult sex toy industry is over $15 billion a year industry.  That would be a lot of lonely women. Let’s face it I remember a day when if you wanted to get a sex toy you had to pull up to the back side of a brick building that looked non-descript that was at least 50 miles from your home, and put on your sunglasses to walk into a poorly lit area and quickly grab a toy before someone you knew pulled in and recognized you. It’s the way it was.  Now between internet sales and brightly lit stores that cater to women and couples there is no reason not to have sex toys.  There are now parties that are hosted at homes so it’s more personal, and the days of the seedy sex stores are all but gone.  The sex stores today are nice, clean, well lit businesses that cater to women in a lot of respects. 

It’s estimated that in the 70’s only about 1% of the women had sex toys, today over 50% have them.  Shows like Sex In The City and the Rabbit toy used have made sex toys more socially acceptable.

Oh, and let’s not forget the men side to the industry.  Yeap, toys are for men too, and as more and more men are talking about it more and more are trying them, both on their significant others and on themselves.

Myth – Sex toys will stretch me out and I won’t be able to feel my partner or will be too loose for him. 

Fact – A sex toy small or large is not going to permanently stretch you out.  Your muscles in the vagina will get looser over time hence the Kegels and keeping the muscles in shape. But the toys are not going to cause that stretching any more than having sex with a large guy is going to stretch you.   I found several references to Betty’s Barbells that can assist you in your Kegels if you’re interested.  You might look up vaginal barbells or Betty's Barbell if you want some more info.  But bottom line is a big fat dildo/vibrator isn’t going to ruin you for a man.

Myth – I’ll be electrocuted if I use my vibrator in the shower.

Fact – The reason they make waterproof vibrators are to protect your investment in the vibrator.  The moisture getting into the battery compartment will ruin most vibrators.  The small amperage and voltage used in vibrators could if conditions were just perfect, a complete circuit out of the battery compartment you could possibly, maybe, get a small zap like a light switch in the winter.  So basically you’d have to submerge the vibrator to cause a circuit. But conditions would have to be perfect and the zap would not in any way be life threatening.  For the record most ‘waterproof’ vibrators have a rubber ring between the battery compartment and the top or plate that encloses it.

You still need to make sure the battery compartment is dried out or your vibrator is waterproof if you don’t want to ruin your vibrator after playing in the shower.

Myth – No real man would use a sex toy with his partner

Fact - A recent survey by the University of Indiana's Kinsey Institute shows that 45 percent of American men have used vibrators in partner sex at least once. One in 10 has done so in the past month. So the ‘real man’ thing is out the window.  Look in cars we put superchargers to make the engine run better.  In sports we train with weights to go longer or higher or whatever.  Sometimes it just makes the sex better when we’re outside of our norm or have some add-ons.  But if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a dozen times, “a vibrator just isn’t the same as a cock, and sometimes a girl just needs a good cock fucking.” A vibrator doesn't say "I love you" or make dinner or take her to the movies when it's all done either. So have no fear guys, it might get her through the moment, even a long spell, but bottom line most women still want you in the end…the toys, they just put the spice on the meal.

Myth – Sex toys are just for women

Fact – Most sex toys can be used on both sexes.  A vibrator or dildo doesn’t know the difference between a vagina and a rectum.  Prostate or Perineum stimulation from a vibrator can be extremely pleasurable for a male.  Whips and paddles don’t care the sex of the flesh they land on.  A butt plug doesn’t care the sex it finds, it just wants to squeeze between some ass cheeks and firmly plant in an asshole.  Guys have several places that can be stimulated by adult toys.  And that doesn’t even cover the ‘pocket pussy’ or similar devices that help him masturbate. So no, sex toys aren’t just for women.

And just because we’re talking about men and toys, I’m going to make the clear statement here, NO you are not gay because you like your prostate stimulated.  It means you’re opening up to another way to have an amazing orgasm.  The fact that to reach that part is through your ass is just an engineering design issue, but does not mean you are gay. 

Myth – Good sex toys cost a lot.  

Fact – We’ve found toys for less than $10 that was on our favorite list.  We’ve found toys that cost over $100 that were junk.  We’ve picked up very good toys over $100 and crap less than $25.  It really depends on the toys and what you want.  Generally, not always, the quality of the toys material and it’s life expectancy of a higher price toy is better, but that doesn’t make it a better toy. This week we posted a picture of our toys, and someone pointed out we have a $4 ping pong paddle in our collection.  Damn fine toy it is!!! Everyone has their own personal preference on toys, so if a $10 toy hits the spot right, then that’s the toy for you.  We’ll talk about the different parts of toys at another time, but make sure if at all possible you try any electronics before you purchase it, or if you’re getting it online that you can return it if it’s a real dud.

Myth – If I use vibrators I won’t be able to have an orgasm with a man later on.

Fact - No, not true. Sometimes women use vibrators to learn how to give themselves orgasms and can then better explain to their partners how to make them have an orgasm. Sometimes it will help get a woman 'warmed up' easier than other methods. But the one doesn't exclude the other.

Per a Brown University study most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal stimulation and many would never have an orgasm with just intercourse no matter what the guy did. 

Hope these facts help us move into Sexuary with an open mind about toys and their use in the bedroom (or where ever you might us them).  

If you have another question or heard something about sex toys please ask below or send a messge to us. 

Remember if you'd like to join us for this years Sexuary Play Time Facebook group you have just a couple of more days to find us and join in the upcoming fun.  You can lurk in the shadows or be in the middle of the conversation, there is no pressure to be in the middle of anything in the group.  But if you want to have full access you must join before Sexuary starts.  

Dane

Our Toy Chest

1 of the 2 drawers of toys we have

We've alluded to the fact we have some toys in our arsenal.  It's an ever growing toy chest.  Of course some break over time, but the good ones are quickly replaced, the ones not used just get chucked.  Of course Sexuary, was a good excuse to purchase a few more items for the toy chest, but we regularly look at new toys to have fun with.  .

Now I know that there are some guys that are intimidated by toys.  I guess they think if she got use to a dildo or a vibrator that she'll have no use for a fleshy cock any longer.  And yet every woman I've ever spoken to about this will tell you that a vibrator will only get you so far.  After a while they need a flesh and blood cock to really satisfy them.

So why do we bother with toys then?  Well when used right it will aid in making the experience even better.   They can help you 'pretend' you are doing things you might not want to experience with another person, like double penetration.  They can 'warm her up' when that might take a bit more effort than desired.  They can keep the mood while you slow down a bit.  I can think of two reasons to that woman have told me they like their clits vibrated while other things are being done.  Sometimes anal is easier if Jane is distracted and while being fisted the distraction makes it all easier.

We have remote control eggs.  That's right eggs.  You insert them (you pick the place) and the partner has the remote and turns it on at their will.  It can be fun to be at Outback and as you go to bite into that baby back rib that vibrator goes off.  It can make an interesting dinner.  After warming up like that who wouldn't have a sizzling time when they got home (hell, sometimes we can't even make it home).

We have paddles, whips, ropes, nipple clamps, and straps for the days we'd like to go down that road.  And while we're still experimenting with some of the limits and likes and dislikes we have the tools we need when we're in the mood.

We have various vibrators from $4 bullets to a $120 Bodywand.  We've had Rabbits and Beyond 2000's that have the multiple vibrations at the same time, one for inside and one for the clit. The harder it vibrates the happier Jackie is.

Dildos? Oh yeah, we have a variety of those too.  Glass, rubber, plastic are all in the toy chest to be played with. Little ones, and huge (fist size and bigger) ones all are in our drawer. No matter what mood we might be in we have the right size and material.  Oh you didn't know material could make a difference?  Take a glass one that can be cooled or heated to change the effect.  The rubber one that will bend and hit spots.  Yeah, material can really change up what's going on. 

We have butt plugs, anal beads, enema bags, and other anal oriented toys for both Jackie and myself.  I even surprised Jackie with "Ponytail" the other day when we were playing.  Jackie has acquired 2 strap-ons.  One just a nice dildo, and one a double sided vibrator so she gets pleasured as she is using it on me.  If the mood is there and you want to play a bit with an ass then we have the proper tools to do that.

Small vibrators that go on your fingers or tongue are also in our treasure chest.  Guys you want to give an extra kick as you're licking on her, have a small vibrator strapped to your tongue.  Both her nipples and clit will enjoy the extra stimulation.  Jackie might use the one wrapped around her fingers as she runs over my ass or as she runs her hand over my cock.

A TENS unit, Speculums, blind folds, gags, feathery boas, soft swatches of cloth, candles made for using on dripping, and of course bricks of batteries to keep everything going all fill the 2 drawer chest.

We have male masturbators.   Places to lube up and slide in and out of.  Sometimes it gives her a break.  Sometimes it's just to get me started.  Sometimes when she's gone it gives me something to do.  Over the years we've purchased vibrating ones, small ones, disposable ones.  There's always one or two in the drawer, even though they aren't used to often. 

Oh and lubes, we have lubes by the gallon.  Hot and spicy, flavored, synthetic, water based, oils, and more.  You need them for most of the toys, though you have to be careful as some of the rubber toys can be ruined by some of the lubes.

For those who have only one or heaven forbid no toys, we recommend you save a couple of bucks and start working on your collection.  We budget our toys like most budget their Starbucks. It's an important part for us so we save up so we can get what we want when we want them.  Maybe you're not into some of the things we like to play around with, that's ok, but surely you could use some extra stimulation on occasion.  What guy wouldn't want to walk into his gal with a vibrator thrashing on her clit and as he walks in she screams for him to get over there and finish her off.  Or to feel a second 'cock' as you slid in?

So I guess what I'm saying is while not everyone needs enough toys that need to be carried by a caravan of elephants like Jackie has, we both think that they have made a great improvement in our sex lives and how we play.  Want some suggestions then ask Jackie or I and we'll give you some ideas.  Have a question on a particular item then ask and we'll see if we know.

Most toy stores that we go to have 2 things that we like.  First of all the 'new style' store isn't a dark dingy place but a well lite place where other women work and are willing to recommend toys after finding out what you like.  They'll let you put in batteries and see how the toy works before you take it home and play.  Some vibrators just aren't worth a plug nickle, so best to know before you pay for them.  Second is that often times there is a 'ladies' or 'couples' day where you can get your toys at a discount.  If you're going to purchase a toy and can save 10% or 20% why wouldn't you?  And of course you can always shop online, but I highly recommend you find one with reviews before you purchase.

Got a particular toy you like best?  Let everyone know here in the comments.  I'll tell you Jackies favorite is her Bodywand.  She loves the punch that thing has and as long as I don't forget to recharge it (then her favorite toy is the paddle) after her second usage it keeps her going.  The new models will  let you plug in if the batteries dies though.  Me?  I'm kinda partial to the fist.  Not something we use every day, but oh my what a job it does.

Dane