Sexuary 2021 - Misfit Toys

So if you're a 'toy collector' like Jackie and I am, you're always looking for new toys to play with.  We've literally spent thousands on toys over the 15 years, and that's not counting the rope or equipment (like the spanking bench or St Andrews Cross) that we've spent.  But as you do that you gravitate to toys that you like the best, or toys you KNOW will get you off almost every time. So what happens is you wind up with a stack of toys, that might be just fine, but you never use anymore.  

So periodically we go into the drawers and pick out one or more of the toys to play with. Tonight is was out night to visit the land of the misfit toys and grab a couple of them out.  The pictures I have in here are about 30% of the toys we have, and for the most part are in the, never or rarely used piles. Some of them have gotten a bit loud, some just don't vibrate enough, some are just not for every day use, but all of them just sit more than they get used. 

 

I changed the batteries in several of the older vibrators and even brought out a masturbater toy just in case. While one or two of them did OK on Jackie, we wound up getting out her good of faithful Bodywand to finish her off.  There's a reason it's old reliable, it works for her! 

We do periodically toss out old, broken toys, or toys we know will just never make it off the bench, but not that often.  So, yeah, we literally have a dresser and a filing cabinet full of toys.  But if we want to show somebody something, we probably have one to show them, and it's pretty rare that there is just a totally new toy. 

Some of the things we look for is 1) vibration, if it's doesn't steam roll for a vibration, we know it's not going to work for us, 2) what is it's power source.  We've found plugged in toys last longer and they never die in the middle of having fun.  Now a days the usb charged ones aren't bad.  They last longer then they use to, but you do have to keep them charged, even if you don't use them all the time. 3) Purpose.  We know Jackie likes clit stimulation more than internal.  That's a personal preference.  So we gear more to those that are for clit or anal stimulation (more for me than her). But those things have taken us a long time to figure out.  

How about breaking out your old vibrators and giving them a try? Maybe you'll remember why you got them in the first place. 😆

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Our Dungeon

Every once in a while the stars align and we get one of our bucket list wishes come true.  That happened for us when our 4 bedroom house became vacant except for Jackie and I.  What does that mean? It means we have PLENTY of room to do whatever we want in our house, and no one to wonder in 'accidently'.  So what did we do? We took all the toys we've purchased or built over the last 14 years and built a dungeon! I mean an honest to goodness dungeon!

We've enjoyed many kinks over the last several years (as you can read in this blog) and so we've added to our 'tools of the trade'.  We have the rack that can be used for rope suspension and I've added an adult swing for this Sexuary.

When a local dungeon was moving they had some of their equipment for sale, so when the spanking bench came up we snagged it.  It's way over kill for anything Jackie and I would use (it has hand clamps, and a male masturbater built into it.  It's very sturdy and while if I was building one I'd make some adjustments, for the $50 we paid for it is a great addition to our new dungeon area.

For those of you who build I'd make the center piece and the legs a bit adjustable so that the ass height and the comfort of the sub is better met.

Next we've got a massage table. OH the many uses this table has. Yes, we've done massages on it, but we've also used it as a bed. The head piece pulls out and so you have a square end to lay on. The legs are adjustable, so the height is perfect for Jackie to be laying on it and for me to have a straight shot into her treasure chest.

You'll notices the chaise lounger in the corner.  I know the old 50's movies used them to make the ladies look sexy, but Jackie can bend over the end, lay ass up, or ...well just us your imagination as to what all you can do with it.

Last is the St Andrews Cross I built a year or two ago.  I've built a frame for the bottom with the intentions of taking it places with us over the next year.  A couple of pins and 1 bolt and it will totally come apart and pack away.

The mats on the floor (which we've moved) really do make a difference when you're standing on the floor.  These are from Walmart and are 6 - 1/2" mats for $12.  We have about 125 sq/ft of matting on our floors now. They also are very easy to clean when Jackie gets very orgasmic. 

In the closet we have everything from floggers to needles, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, masturbators, nipple and clit clamps, rope and suspension equipment, TENS units, Violet Wand, other electrical attachments, and anything else we've come across and wanted/needed over the years and of course plenty of lubes. 

We haven't played with everything here, the needles are coming but we are prepared, and there are other boxes I haven't unveiled yet so I can surprise Jackie when the time comes.  When we do have something we like, we go ahead and get good equipment and make sure we have a variety of them. Floggers for instance, we have 6 or 7 of them, varying weight and lengths (Get your flogger at Flogmebaby.com Steven there will treat you right!). 

While over the decades we've spent plenty of money on putting everything in this dungeon together, it's not like the equipment in there is thousands of dollars. We probably have $500 - $600 dollars in floor equipment.  That's all 5 pieces. And if you're a great shopper like Jackie you could probably do it for less.The spanking bench was $50, because we just keep our eyes open for deals like that. You could probably find a massage table and other things for a dungeon. We have another $500 - $750 in 'toys' in the closet.  A lot of that stuff was purchased before Amazon and Wish were around and big into adult toys and gadgets, and has taken us almost 15 years to accumulate. So start small and go from there. Scan through Wish.com and see things that are intriguing to you and get them. Soon you'll have your own collection for a dungeon if you're lucky like Jackie and I are. 

Dane

Sexuary 2015 - Ordinary Items Used As Toys

Ok so it's Sexuary 2015 and you've haven't got an extra $75 or $100 or $200 dollars for a new sex toy, and the batteries are dead in your old ones but you want to have some extra fun in the bedroom, so what do you do?  Look around the house it's full of fun toys that can be brought into the bedroom for some excitement the next time you play.

Kim Bainger in 9 1/2 Weeks

Let's start with the simplest of stuff.  I remember the scene with Mickey Rourke and  Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks where a single ice cube and made millions of teenagers cream there pants as he ran it down over her lips and
body.  The ice can be used on either sex and lots of fun can be had.  Now I generally get a small bowl and a hand towel to go with it if I'm planning something like that, but yes, an ice cube found in your freezer can be a great addition to your sex toys.

I  know that not everyone wears ties like they used to, but I think most men have a tie or 2 in the closet.  Instead of leaving it in the closet, use it in bed.  Tie someone up and make them squirm (maybe with the ice cube from above), before taking it to the next level.  If you don't have a tie, use a belt.  Honestly you don't have to tie them to tight, it's more about the idea of being constrained than the actual constraint. 

Ok, not every house had cloths pins anymore, but for a dollar or so you can have more than you will ever need to play with.  As nipple clamps, on the scrotum, I've seen them in a row on the thighs or sides, or ear lobe or ...well you get the idea, if you can pinch it you can put a cloths pin on there.  So why? It's not only the pinching sensation, but the rush of blood once you remove the pin that is part of the adrenaline rush.  Oh a little trick I've learned is that a dime, penny or nickel placed by the spring can lessen the clamp.  So if your cloths pin is too much to be placed on the nipple, just put a dime there and see if that is better, if not try a penny or a nickle.Simple adjustment and you can still use the cloths pins.

While we purchased a piece of cloth for the next, a fluffy robe or a fluffy blanket could be used for feeling and texture once the person is blindfolded or maybe you want to just wrap it around your hand and gently rub. I like taking Jackies favorite cloth and spreading it over her and slowly sliding it down her body giving her goose bumps.  But in this case it's about the texture when they can't see.  

Have you priced a good paddle lately?  Yeah they aren't cheap by any means, but the paddle in our drawer is nothing more than a ping pong paddle.  The sides are lifting up and there's a couple of spots a bit worn, but that just gives it character.  A new one is only a few bucks, and I promise, as I speak from experience here, a good wallop with that will do the trick just fine. By the way, a good wooden spoon from the kitchen can do just as good of a job too. Oh and if you're into role playing and one of you is a student, a good hardback book could be your next paddle.

Got a feather boa or some feathers from some school project?  I will say not all feathers are created equal, but if you have something soft like that use it.

Don't have a blindfold to use?  Just take a t-shirt and fold it and tie it in the back or a scarf from her closet.  The idea is to deprive the 1 individual from a sense, that of sight, so anything will work.  Though blindfolds are pretty cheap if you look around.

Certain candles can be used in the bedroom too.  Dripping the wax can be very pleasure/pain enjoyable.  Not all candles are equal for this.  Soy and paraffin candles burn cooler and are easier to remove later.  Avoid most other candles as they can burn the skin.  I found a great article on wax here if you want more on it.

Two dice could be a great start for the night.  Each number on 1 die is a place on the body and the other die represents what you're going to do with it (lick, rub, kiss...come up with your own ideas here).  After a few rounds I'm thinking you won't need the dice any more.  And of course strip poker is always a way.  Another way is that the winner gets to take off a piece of clothing and the loser has to pay 2 minutes attention to that spot, or something to that effect, be creative here.

We play games with sports too.  Superbowl was 3 minutes of being eaten or blowjob for every touchdown scored.  In years past (when we didn't have company) that was due immediately upon scoring.  Made the game a lot more interesting for us and as the game came to a closer, we came too.  

Basketball can be how many points difference between quarters.  Even NASCAR can turn into a game where you pick a driver or team and winner gets xy and z. The difference between places at the 1/2 point and/or the end could be the number of minutes something happens.  If your driver/team wins you get bonus time. 

What we're saying is just because you can't drop a chunk of change at the adult toy store doesn't mean you are stuck with a boring sex life.  PLAN out a night with your partner where all the items used aren't meant to be used for sex, but you do it anyway.  They will be impressed you were thinking about them that much and the extra excitement can lead to so extra fun play.

Do you have a household item you use in your sex play?  Share it here so others can enjoy it too.  Get with your partner and plan out something together, sometimes the planning is as much fun as the doing.  Make this the Sexuary that you have a great Ah Ha moment with your partner and part of that is playing with everyday ordinary objects as sex toys. 

On this Valentine day, the 1/2 way point of and high holy day of Sexuary, find some way to make a difference in your relationship.  It doesn't take a lot of money to have a great time using toys in the bedroom.

Dane

Sexuary 2015 - Strap-Ons

So was hoping to get to the TENS units but am waiting for a new toy to arrive before I finish that so we're going to talk about strap-ons.  YEAH!

So strap-ons are one of those Sexuary toys that EVERYONE gets to play with.  It doesn't matter your gender or sexual preference there are strap-ons for you and your partners enjoyment.  While we generally think of strap-ons in women on women, it can actually be used by both men and women on both men and women. Damn these strap-ons are good!!!

So it's been our experience that most strap-ons are pretty simple in design.  While the miles of webbing or leather might look intimidating, once you can lay it out and figure out leg and belt you're good to go.  Just tighten it up and fun and excitement are around the corner.   Though you'll notice in our picture we have one that wraps around you thigh, a much simpler design, though it has some 'thrust' issues to it. 

S

So most of the strap on work with a metal O ring that fits around the base and then that snaps into your webbing.  Note the bottom left dildo is made to be put onto a strap on belt.

We've also found a double sided strap on that vibrate both her and him at the same time (lighter purple on).  While Jackie had issues with the angle on this one we loved the idea of it.

So why do we play with strap-ons?

• Well first of all there is the hands free element here.  Depending on the sex using it you could be stroking a clit or a cock, or just holding on while still stroking or pegging.  
• You can get your hips into it.  Let's face it these are nothing more than dildos and vibrators, but hip action definitely adds a new dimension to the thrusting the receiver is getting. 
• For the women there is gender bending
• For the men there is now 2 penises and the possibility of double penetration
• Additionally for men with erectile issues the strap on can over come so of those issues and provide a great sexual experience. 
• There are role play opportunities here.  The strap on because that guy you invited to your bed together.  

So I'll add that while some guys are intimidated by strap-ons, I've never met a guy that's tried them that don't appreciate them.  The "you've got to be gay if you allow anal" myth is just that a myth.  After all why would one of the most erotic zones in a man be found within the anal channel if we weren't supposed to explore there? Seriously guys there is nothing like having your prostate rubbed while a woman has a strap on dildo plowing in your ass and you're being stroked.

Oh but wait that means the wife must really be butch and dominate. *slapping forehead*  For most women wearing a strap on has no gender implications. It's just another accessory they wear for sexual play that just happens to be very practical and while they might seriously get into the moment, it doesn't change who they are.  If they're not butch and dominate now a strap on isn't going to change that. 

Here's a good video I found talking about the different styles of strap-ons and attachable dildos.



I will say that we had problems finding our first belt for Jackie because of size.  But what I figured out was that the web belts are standard webbing and I just added a couple of pieces of webbing extending the pull straps.  This allowed a more comfortable fit for her, and pleasure for me.  So for us the web belts were the best option. 

We also have found that it is generally much cheaper to purchase a harness by itself and then add the dildo you want to add separately.  The 'kits' get quite pricey and you won't always get the dildo you want.  Putting your own set together allows you to get what you want, and often at a cheaper price. You'll notice in our collection we have a variety of strap on dildos that we can put on Jackies harness.

So how does this work with Sexuary?  Well here's the deal, strap-ons allow for some unique toy play.  They bring an intimacy to your bedroom (or other places) that just the dildo doesn't.  And isn't that what Sexuary is about?  Bringing a new sense of intimacy to the bedroom.  Even if it's for the 1 night this month, these toys are fun.

So where are you on Sexuary adventures this year?  Have you brought more toys to your sanctuary?  Have you used them for self satisfaction?  Have you made a change for this month to bring more communication to your relationship?  We still have over half the month left, so if you haven't do anything for Sexuary you still have time!!! Go for it, grab that strap on and ........

If you don't have a strap on we highly recommend adding one to your collection!

Dane 

Sexuary 2015 - Care and Cleaning of Your Toys

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Sexuary 2015 - Sex Toy Myth Buster

So before we get started with Sexuary 2015, I felt like maybe we should go over some myths about sex toys.  There are plenty out there and if we’re going to talk about how they can make your sex life better, we should understand what they can and can’t do. 

Myth – Toys are for just for lonely women

Fact – The adult sex toy industry is over $15 billion a year industry.  That would be a lot of lonely women. Let’s face it I remember a day when if you wanted to get a sex toy you had to pull up to the back side of a brick building that looked non-descript that was at least 50 miles from your home, and put on your sunglasses to walk into a poorly lit area and quickly grab a toy before someone you knew pulled in and recognized you. It’s the way it was.  Now between internet sales and brightly lit stores that cater to women and couples there is no reason not to have sex toys.  There are now parties that are hosted at homes so it’s more personal, and the days of the seedy sex stores are all but gone.  The sex stores today are nice, clean, well lit businesses that cater to women in a lot of respects. 

It’s estimated that in the 70’s only about 1% of the women had sex toys, today over 50% have them.  Shows like Sex In The City and the Rabbit toy used have made sex toys more socially acceptable.

Oh, and let’s not forget the men side to the industry.  Yeap, toys are for men too, and as more and more men are talking about it more and more are trying them, both on their significant others and on themselves.

Myth – Sex toys will stretch me out and I won’t be able to feel my partner or will be too loose for him. 

Fact – A sex toy small or large is not going to permanently stretch you out.  Your muscles in the vagina will get looser over time hence the Kegels and keeping the muscles in shape. But the toys are not going to cause that stretching any more than having sex with a large guy is going to stretch you.   I found several references to Betty’s Barbells that can assist you in your Kegels if you’re interested.  You might look up vaginal barbells or Betty's Barbell if you want some more info.  But bottom line is a big fat dildo/vibrator isn’t going to ruin you for a man.

Myth – I’ll be electrocuted if I use my vibrator in the shower.

Fact – The reason they make waterproof vibrators are to protect your investment in the vibrator.  The moisture getting into the battery compartment will ruin most vibrators.  The small amperage and voltage used in vibrators could if conditions were just perfect, a complete circuit out of the battery compartment you could possibly, maybe, get a small zap like a light switch in the winter.  So basically you’d have to submerge the vibrator to cause a circuit. But conditions would have to be perfect and the zap would not in any way be life threatening.  For the record most ‘waterproof’ vibrators have a rubber ring between the battery compartment and the top or plate that encloses it.

You still need to make sure the battery compartment is dried out or your vibrator is waterproof if you don’t want to ruin your vibrator after playing in the shower.

Myth – No real man would use a sex toy with his partner

Fact - A recent survey by the University of Indiana's Kinsey Institute shows that 45 percent of American men have used vibrators in partner sex at least once. One in 10 has done so in the past month. So the ‘real man’ thing is out the window.  Look in cars we put superchargers to make the engine run better.  In sports we train with weights to go longer or higher or whatever.  Sometimes it just makes the sex better when we’re outside of our norm or have some add-ons.  But if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a dozen times, “a vibrator just isn’t the same as a cock, and sometimes a girl just needs a good cock fucking.” A vibrator doesn't say "I love you" or make dinner or take her to the movies when it's all done either. So have no fear guys, it might get her through the moment, even a long spell, but bottom line most women still want you in the end…the toys, they just put the spice on the meal.

Myth – Sex toys are just for women

Fact – Most sex toys can be used on both sexes.  A vibrator or dildo doesn’t know the difference between a vagina and a rectum.  Prostate or Perineum stimulation from a vibrator can be extremely pleasurable for a male.  Whips and paddles don’t care the sex of the flesh they land on.  A butt plug doesn’t care the sex it finds, it just wants to squeeze between some ass cheeks and firmly plant in an asshole.  Guys have several places that can be stimulated by adult toys.  And that doesn’t even cover the ‘pocket pussy’ or similar devices that help him masturbate. So no, sex toys aren’t just for women.

And just because we’re talking about men and toys, I’m going to make the clear statement here, NO you are not gay because you like your prostate stimulated.  It means you’re opening up to another way to have an amazing orgasm.  The fact that to reach that part is through your ass is just an engineering design issue, but does not mean you are gay. 

Myth – Good sex toys cost a lot.  

Fact – We’ve found toys for less than $10 that was on our favorite list.  We’ve found toys that cost over $100 that were junk.  We’ve picked up very good toys over $100 and crap less than $25.  It really depends on the toys and what you want.  Generally, not always, the quality of the toys material and it’s life expectancy of a higher price toy is better, but that doesn’t make it a better toy. This week we posted a picture of our toys, and someone pointed out we have a $4 ping pong paddle in our collection.  Damn fine toy it is!!! Everyone has their own personal preference on toys, so if a $10 toy hits the spot right, then that’s the toy for you.  We’ll talk about the different parts of toys at another time, but make sure if at all possible you try any electronics before you purchase it, or if you’re getting it online that you can return it if it’s a real dud.

Myth – If I use vibrators I won’t be able to have an orgasm with a man later on.

Fact - No, not true. Sometimes women use vibrators to learn how to give themselves orgasms and can then better explain to their partners how to make them have an orgasm. Sometimes it will help get a woman 'warmed up' easier than other methods. But the one doesn't exclude the other.

Per a Brown University study most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal stimulation and many would never have an orgasm with just intercourse no matter what the guy did. 

Hope these facts help us move into Sexuary with an open mind about toys and their use in the bedroom (or where ever you might us them).  

If you have another question or heard something about sex toys please ask below or send a messge to us. 

Remember if you'd like to join us for this years Sexuary Play Time Facebook group you have just a couple of more days to find us and join in the upcoming fun.  You can lurk in the shadows or be in the middle of the conversation, there is no pressure to be in the middle of anything in the group.  But if you want to have full access you must join before Sexuary starts.  

Dane