Friday, July 26, 2013

Swinging...another try

So back in Sexuary...I mean February we had our first swapping experience (  It didn't go quite as expected.  A couple of things went wrong, and bottom line is that we left in a very frustrated and 'mental' state from that event.

But Jackie and I did talk about it and when it was all said and done she, on her own, came back and said she'd do it again, but we'd probably be a bit more cautious next time. Remember we've swung with individuals several times before, just never with another couple. And the whole swinging thing was Jackies' idea to start with, I just gave the go ahead.  So it's not like Jackie wasn't a willing participant. 

So we got a message from a couple a couple of hours away.  The day before we were to meet Jackie pulled her back out. We did manage to meet for dinner, but we knew playing was off the table that night.  And while it took a bit, we all seemed to sync up.  We stayed till the restaurant was closed and parted ways with another date set to play.

After one cancellation, we were able to get together.  It went much better.  After a couple of hours of talking we moved to the bed and  played.  It was a first for Jackie having a woman in bed with her and a first for us having couples on the same bed (last time we were in separate rooms). It was definitely a different experience for both of us.

We're still processing some of it. I know I enjoyed some of the variety.  While it doesn't surprise me, it's still a bit to get use to another womans .....hmmmm.... idiosyncrasies.  I know what makes Jackie tick, and while that varies from day to day, I know basically what she likes so can always make sure she's taken care of.  So it's different trying to figure out what works with another woman, and yet, that's part of the fun of it.

I do think guys are easier to please...warm and wet are basically what we are looking for, if you can add a boob or two to suck on while we're at it then that just makes it better.

By the time the other couple left it was late and we didn't stay awake to long, but we did get to talk about it some the next day as we spent the day together.  Jackie wasn't stressed like last time.  Nervous yes, but not stressed.  And she wasn't all full of anxiety when we left like last time.  She slept well.

So sometimes some things just don't work the way you planned.  Our first time was a prime example.  But that didn't mean we gave up on it.  It just means we learned and moved forward. But most importantly we talked about it and made sure both of us were good with it all.


So this is our second try at swinging...let me say I had such a negative first try it was seriuosly hard to try again.  In fact I had to keep telling myself, do not have a melt down, do not have a melt down, it will be ok, if its not its ok to say not have melt down...This went through my head a 1000+ times that night.

Went this Couple a few weeks ago via a website we belong to.  Dane chatted with them off and on for a while before we even met.  We met up with them at a resturant and sat around, ate and drank that night.  There was NO playing since I was in no condition to even think about it.  I had pulled my back out, and even to this day am still having issues with it.   So we set up the next meeting, that had to cancel as well.  So 3rd try is a charm...

Dane and I had gone out to eat before they came to town and I had had two glasses of liquid encouragment. We then went back to the hotel waiting on them.  Keep in mind I am still trying NOT to freak out.  I even talked to  them about the last time.  They needed to know.  We sat around drinking some more for a couple of hours then began to play.  I was still really nervous, its like Dane said you know what your own partner likes and doesn't like, its very hard to know what the new person does.  It was also my first time being with another woman.  It was enjoyable but I know I am not switching sides anytime soon.  I am still not very comfortable with going down on a woman but I am ok with her going down on me. 

Its was a fun time with all of us.  I ended the night with my hubby, the one I am supposed to be with.  The one whose scent still calms my nerves. So while it was fun, and enjoyable, there is no one that can replace the intimate feeling with my hubby.  Will we play again, maybe or maybe not.  I am not closed at it but its off my "bucket" list, so not sure I want to chance the good time with another bad time. 


Monday, July 8, 2013

Neked Weekend

So part of Sexuary is making time for your partner.  It's been a struggle for Jackie and I lately.  Oh don't get me wrong we've made time to be intimate and a some time to ourselves, but we haven't really had that extra time alone where we can communicate...catch up...share without disruption...just take a nap together.

So against all odds, with work piles a mile high, we made plans to get away for a weekend and hide from the world.  We have a little cottage we like to visit.  It's secluded, it's private, it has a jacuzzi on the enclosed back porch, and it's 1/2 a mile from a great little Texas town we love to visit.

Friday - Monday we lived in a little heaven on Earth.  Every day we'd get dressed for about 2 - 3 hours and go to town, eat a meal or two...went wine tasting picking up many bottles of wine we enjoy...picked up $100 worth of hand made specialty chocolates that Jackie loves....and that's it! Nothing more.  Ok, we did consider going to a play, but since it was sold out all weekend we didn't.

The rest of the weekend?  We were neked.  We read.  We ******.  We hopped in the jacuzzi.  We slept.  We ****** some more.. We hopped in the jacuzzi.  We ate.  We hopped in the jacuzzi.  We read some more.  We hopped in the jacuzzi.  We ****** some more.  We hopped in the jacuzzi.  We slept.  We woke up and started all over again. Neked the entire time except for the couple of hours we went to town.

It was exactly the kind of weekend we needed!!!  We had no kids.  No troubles.  No worries.  No stress.  No anything we didn't want.

We talked about anything and everything.

We caught up with each other.

We relaxed and caught up on physical rest we both needed badly.

We made time for each other.

Look, Sexuary is about getting with your partner in a finite period of the month and make extra special efforts to communicate with your partner, and hopefully the sexual aspect will improve accordingly.  But if you wait till 2/1/2014 to make the extra effort then your relationship is not going to grow and blossom.  Jackie and I hated that we waited as long as we did, but before we let it get to a point it would effect our marriage we made something happen.

You don't have to go to the extreme of a 4 day neked weekend, but do something, especially if it's been a while.  Figure out a day to head off by yourselves.  Take a walk in the woods.  Plan a picnic.  Go out to a lake for the day.  But do something that the 2 of you can do and you can get close and be together.  Ever booked a hotel room in your own town?  We have, just to get away for a night in someplace different for us.  Plan a day of events (shopping, movie, lunch and dinner, walk though the mall - together). Doesn't have to cost a fortune, does have to be personal where your partner is #1, not the TV, not the cell phone, not Facebook, not your email!

Make today another Sexuary day!