Sexuary 2021 - The Spanking Bench

Ok, I'm not going to lie, the idea of someone on my spanking bench, open and available for my inflicting pain is oddly intoxicating. It will make my dick hard as a rock just thinking about it, so you can imagine my day knowing that this was in my near future...the anticipation was near impossible. 

"It's a very paincentric evening" I warned Jackie.  It's only fair to give her a heads up with all I had in mind.

First we had made out a bit in the living room, just enough to get Jackie her first orgasm, and in a very good place to start.  Let's face it pain is a 2 edge sword, not enough or to much pain becomes just pain, but that right amount of pain become pure pleasure.  Being warmed up prior only makes it easier to make the pain go the right direction...gives you a bigger zone to hit. When we walked into the room I let her know that the school paddles were still in the drawer and would not be used tonight.  I knew this would put her mind at ease some that the 1 thing that can take her to a bad place quickly was not going to be used tonight. 

I placed Jackie on the spanking bench and started with some stroking her back with my finger nails.  It brings the blood to the surface and makes it better for that what is coming.  I check her, and she's very wet already, and I can quickly bring her to another orgasm.  Then I really started.  

First a couple of swats with a riding crop, then I took one of the 2 new floggers we inherited and laid into her a couple of good times.  This one is wider straps, heavier, and definitely a thudder. It's not much of a stinger but is a good warm up.  

Then I broke out one of the whipping cane.  Three swats on the right cheek that definitely left 3 nice whelps.  They are beautiful raised on Jackies ass cheeks. 

Again I check Jackie out, while thrusting I swatted her left ass cheek good and hard.  She jumped as my hand left it's print in her lovely skin.  She came hard and I moved on. 

The next flogger is The Grand Emperor from Flogmebaby.com. It's long tines give a great stinging swat with it's 32" straps.  Her back started to show signs of the abuse it was receiving.... lines raised in her back and when I ran my fingers over her now she definitely arched her back.  

Now her left cheek received the swatting of the 3 swats of cane.  Oh the delicious whelps that started to raise were beautiful.  She was so wet as I slid back into her and brought her to another orgasm.  They are almost coming easier now.  I took the handle to the Grand Emperor and slid it in Jackie and brought her off once more.  

Her right cheek received the smack of my hand, leaving a beautifully raised hand print.   

With both ass cheeks with hand prints, and both with 3 marks each from the cane I brought out the 1 thing Jackie had asked me to try this month, the new yellow flogger we inherited.  One strike of that and it was a quick 'no'.  Later she said it felt like a baseball bat hitting her, and it left 4 square marks on her back where they hit, and honestly I was barely swinging.  I can't imagine if I had gone even 60-70%.  

We moved to the bed and with all the excitement I quickly finished up.  I lost count of the number of orgasms Jackie had in the process. Her pain/pleasure sensors were on overdrive tonight.

Now when we were done I made sure to put some lotions on the marks.  Remember when you do something as traumatic as this scene can be, you need to make sure there is some aftercare.  

If you're interested in the spanking benches, floggers, caning, or any other paincentric activity, please feel free to reach out to Jackie or I for more information. 

Dane

 

Sexuary 2015 - Ordinary Items Used As Toys

Ok so it's Sexuary 2015 and you've haven't got an extra $75 or $100 or $200 dollars for a new sex toy, and the batteries are dead in your old ones but you want to have some extra fun in the bedroom, so what do you do?  Look around the house it's full of fun toys that can be brought into the bedroom for some excitement the next time you play.

Kim Bainger in 9 1/2 Weeks

Let's start with the simplest of stuff.  I remember the scene with Mickey Rourke and  Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks where a single ice cube and made millions of teenagers cream there pants as he ran it down over her lips and
body.  The ice can be used on either sex and lots of fun can be had.  Now I generally get a small bowl and a hand towel to go with it if I'm planning something like that, but yes, an ice cube found in your freezer can be a great addition to your sex toys.

I  know that not everyone wears ties like they used to, but I think most men have a tie or 2 in the closet.  Instead of leaving it in the closet, use it in bed.  Tie someone up and make them squirm (maybe with the ice cube from above), before taking it to the next level.  If you don't have a tie, use a belt.  Honestly you don't have to tie them to tight, it's more about the idea of being constrained than the actual constraint. 

Ok, not every house had cloths pins anymore, but for a dollar or so you can have more than you will ever need to play with.  As nipple clamps, on the scrotum, I've seen them in a row on the thighs or sides, or ear lobe or ...well you get the idea, if you can pinch it you can put a cloths pin on there.  So why? It's not only the pinching sensation, but the rush of blood once you remove the pin that is part of the adrenaline rush.  Oh a little trick I've learned is that a dime, penny or nickel placed by the spring can lessen the clamp.  So if your cloths pin is too much to be placed on the nipple, just put a dime there and see if that is better, if not try a penny or a nickle.Simple adjustment and you can still use the cloths pins.

While we purchased a piece of cloth for the next, a fluffy robe or a fluffy blanket could be used for feeling and texture once the person is blindfolded or maybe you want to just wrap it around your hand and gently rub. I like taking Jackies favorite cloth and spreading it over her and slowly sliding it down her body giving her goose bumps.  But in this case it's about the texture when they can't see.  

Have you priced a good paddle lately?  Yeah they aren't cheap by any means, but the paddle in our drawer is nothing more than a ping pong paddle.  The sides are lifting up and there's a couple of spots a bit worn, but that just gives it character.  A new one is only a few bucks, and I promise, as I speak from experience here, a good wallop with that will do the trick just fine. By the way, a good wooden spoon from the kitchen can do just as good of a job too. Oh and if you're into role playing and one of you is a student, a good hardback book could be your next paddle.

Got a feather boa or some feathers from some school project?  I will say not all feathers are created equal, but if you have something soft like that use it.

Don't have a blindfold to use?  Just take a t-shirt and fold it and tie it in the back or a scarf from her closet.  The idea is to deprive the 1 individual from a sense, that of sight, so anything will work.  Though blindfolds are pretty cheap if you look around.

Certain candles can be used in the bedroom too.  Dripping the wax can be very pleasure/pain enjoyable.  Not all candles are equal for this.  Soy and paraffin candles burn cooler and are easier to remove later.  Avoid most other candles as they can burn the skin.  I found a great article on wax here if you want more on it.

Two dice could be a great start for the night.  Each number on 1 die is a place on the body and the other die represents what you're going to do with it (lick, rub, kiss...come up with your own ideas here).  After a few rounds I'm thinking you won't need the dice any more.  And of course strip poker is always a way.  Another way is that the winner gets to take off a piece of clothing and the loser has to pay 2 minutes attention to that spot, or something to that effect, be creative here.

We play games with sports too.  Superbowl was 3 minutes of being eaten or blowjob for every touchdown scored.  In years past (when we didn't have company) that was due immediately upon scoring.  Made the game a lot more interesting for us and as the game came to a closer, we came too.  

Basketball can be how many points difference between quarters.  Even NASCAR can turn into a game where you pick a driver or team and winner gets xy and z. The difference between places at the 1/2 point and/or the end could be the number of minutes something happens.  If your driver/team wins you get bonus time. 

What we're saying is just because you can't drop a chunk of change at the adult toy store doesn't mean you are stuck with a boring sex life.  PLAN out a night with your partner where all the items used aren't meant to be used for sex, but you do it anyway.  They will be impressed you were thinking about them that much and the extra excitement can lead to so extra fun play.

Do you have a household item you use in your sex play?  Share it here so others can enjoy it too.  Get with your partner and plan out something together, sometimes the planning is as much fun as the doing.  Make this the Sexuary that you have a great Ah Ha moment with your partner and part of that is playing with everyday ordinary objects as sex toys. 

On this Valentine day, the 1/2 way point of and high holy day of Sexuary, find some way to make a difference in your relationship.  It doesn't take a lot of money to have a great time using toys in the bedroom.

Dane

Sexuary 2015 - Sex Toy Myth Buster

So before we get started with Sexuary 2015, I felt like maybe we should go over some myths about sex toys.  There are plenty out there and if we’re going to talk about how they can make your sex life better, we should understand what they can and can’t do. 

Myth – Toys are for just for lonely women

Fact – The adult sex toy industry is over $15 billion a year industry.  That would be a lot of lonely women. Let’s face it I remember a day when if you wanted to get a sex toy you had to pull up to the back side of a brick building that looked non-descript that was at least 50 miles from your home, and put on your sunglasses to walk into a poorly lit area and quickly grab a toy before someone you knew pulled in and recognized you. It’s the way it was.  Now between internet sales and brightly lit stores that cater to women and couples there is no reason not to have sex toys.  There are now parties that are hosted at homes so it’s more personal, and the days of the seedy sex stores are all but gone.  The sex stores today are nice, clean, well lit businesses that cater to women in a lot of respects. 

It’s estimated that in the 70’s only about 1% of the women had sex toys, today over 50% have them.  Shows like Sex In The City and the Rabbit toy used have made sex toys more socially acceptable.

Oh, and let’s not forget the men side to the industry.  Yeap, toys are for men too, and as more and more men are talking about it more and more are trying them, both on their significant others and on themselves.

Myth – Sex toys will stretch me out and I won’t be able to feel my partner or will be too loose for him. 

Fact – A sex toy small or large is not going to permanently stretch you out.  Your muscles in the vagina will get looser over time hence the Kegels and keeping the muscles in shape. But the toys are not going to cause that stretching any more than having sex with a large guy is going to stretch you.   I found several references to Betty’s Barbells that can assist you in your Kegels if you’re interested.  You might look up vaginal barbells or Betty's Barbell if you want some more info.  But bottom line is a big fat dildo/vibrator isn’t going to ruin you for a man.

Myth – I’ll be electrocuted if I use my vibrator in the shower.

Fact – The reason they make waterproof vibrators are to protect your investment in the vibrator.  The moisture getting into the battery compartment will ruin most vibrators.  The small amperage and voltage used in vibrators could if conditions were just perfect, a complete circuit out of the battery compartment you could possibly, maybe, get a small zap like a light switch in the winter.  So basically you’d have to submerge the vibrator to cause a circuit. But conditions would have to be perfect and the zap would not in any way be life threatening.  For the record most ‘waterproof’ vibrators have a rubber ring between the battery compartment and the top or plate that encloses it.

You still need to make sure the battery compartment is dried out or your vibrator is waterproof if you don’t want to ruin your vibrator after playing in the shower.

Myth – No real man would use a sex toy with his partner

Fact - A recent survey by the University of Indiana's Kinsey Institute shows that 45 percent of American men have used vibrators in partner sex at least once. One in 10 has done so in the past month. So the ‘real man’ thing is out the window.  Look in cars we put superchargers to make the engine run better.  In sports we train with weights to go longer or higher or whatever.  Sometimes it just makes the sex better when we’re outside of our norm or have some add-ons.  But if I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a dozen times, “a vibrator just isn’t the same as a cock, and sometimes a girl just needs a good cock fucking.” A vibrator doesn't say "I love you" or make dinner or take her to the movies when it's all done either. So have no fear guys, it might get her through the moment, even a long spell, but bottom line most women still want you in the end…the toys, they just put the spice on the meal.

Myth – Sex toys are just for women

Fact – Most sex toys can be used on both sexes.  A vibrator or dildo doesn’t know the difference between a vagina and a rectum.  Prostate or Perineum stimulation from a vibrator can be extremely pleasurable for a male.  Whips and paddles don’t care the sex of the flesh they land on.  A butt plug doesn’t care the sex it finds, it just wants to squeeze between some ass cheeks and firmly plant in an asshole.  Guys have several places that can be stimulated by adult toys.  And that doesn’t even cover the ‘pocket pussy’ or similar devices that help him masturbate. So no, sex toys aren’t just for women.

And just because we’re talking about men and toys, I’m going to make the clear statement here, NO you are not gay because you like your prostate stimulated.  It means you’re opening up to another way to have an amazing orgasm.  The fact that to reach that part is through your ass is just an engineering design issue, but does not mean you are gay. 

Myth – Good sex toys cost a lot.  

Fact – We’ve found toys for less than $10 that was on our favorite list.  We’ve found toys that cost over $100 that were junk.  We’ve picked up very good toys over $100 and crap less than $25.  It really depends on the toys and what you want.  Generally, not always, the quality of the toys material and it’s life expectancy of a higher price toy is better, but that doesn’t make it a better toy. This week we posted a picture of our toys, and someone pointed out we have a $4 ping pong paddle in our collection.  Damn fine toy it is!!! Everyone has their own personal preference on toys, so if a $10 toy hits the spot right, then that’s the toy for you.  We’ll talk about the different parts of toys at another time, but make sure if at all possible you try any electronics before you purchase it, or if you’re getting it online that you can return it if it’s a real dud.

Myth – If I use vibrators I won’t be able to have an orgasm with a man later on.

Fact - No, not true. Sometimes women use vibrators to learn how to give themselves orgasms and can then better explain to their partners how to make them have an orgasm. Sometimes it will help get a woman 'warmed up' easier than other methods. But the one doesn't exclude the other.

Per a Brown University study most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal stimulation and many would never have an orgasm with just intercourse no matter what the guy did. 

Hope these facts help us move into Sexuary with an open mind about toys and their use in the bedroom (or where ever you might us them).  

If you have another question or heard something about sex toys please ask below or send a messge to us. 

Remember if you'd like to join us for this years Sexuary Play Time Facebook group you have just a couple of more days to find us and join in the upcoming fun.  You can lurk in the shadows or be in the middle of the conversation, there is no pressure to be in the middle of anything in the group.  But if you want to have full access you must join before Sexuary starts.  

Dane

Our Toy Chest

1 of the 2 drawers of toys we have

We've alluded to the fact we have some toys in our arsenal.  It's an ever growing toy chest.  Of course some break over time, but the good ones are quickly replaced, the ones not used just get chucked.  Of course Sexuary, was a good excuse to purchase a few more items for the toy chest, but we regularly look at new toys to have fun with.  .

Now I know that there are some guys that are intimidated by toys.  I guess they think if she got use to a dildo or a vibrator that she'll have no use for a fleshy cock any longer.  And yet every woman I've ever spoken to about this will tell you that a vibrator will only get you so far.  After a while they need a flesh and blood cock to really satisfy them.

So why do we bother with toys then?  Well when used right it will aid in making the experience even better.   They can help you 'pretend' you are doing things you might not want to experience with another person, like double penetration.  They can 'warm her up' when that might take a bit more effort than desired.  They can keep the mood while you slow down a bit.  I can think of two reasons to that woman have told me they like their clits vibrated while other things are being done.  Sometimes anal is easier if Jane is distracted and while being fisted the distraction makes it all easier.

We have remote control eggs.  That's right eggs.  You insert them (you pick the place) and the partner has the remote and turns it on at their will.  It can be fun to be at Outback and as you go to bite into that baby back rib that vibrator goes off.  It can make an interesting dinner.  After warming up like that who wouldn't have a sizzling time when they got home (hell, sometimes we can't even make it home).

We have paddles, whips, ropes, nipple clamps, and straps for the days we'd like to go down that road.  And while we're still experimenting with some of the limits and likes and dislikes we have the tools we need when we're in the mood.

We have various vibrators from $4 bullets to a $120 Bodywand.  We've had Rabbits and Beyond 2000's that have the multiple vibrations at the same time, one for inside and one for the clit. The harder it vibrates the happier Jackie is.

Dildos? Oh yeah, we have a variety of those too.  Glass, rubber, plastic are all in the toy chest to be played with. Little ones, and huge (fist size and bigger) ones all are in our drawer. No matter what mood we might be in we have the right size and material.  Oh you didn't know material could make a difference?  Take a glass one that can be cooled or heated to change the effect.  The rubber one that will bend and hit spots.  Yeah, material can really change up what's going on. 

We have butt plugs, anal beads, enema bags, and other anal oriented toys for both Jackie and myself.  I even surprised Jackie with "Ponytail" the other day when we were playing.  Jackie has acquired 2 strap-ons.  One just a nice dildo, and one a double sided vibrator so she gets pleasured as she is using it on me.  If the mood is there and you want to play a bit with an ass then we have the proper tools to do that.

Small vibrators that go on your fingers or tongue are also in our treasure chest.  Guys you want to give an extra kick as you're licking on her, have a small vibrator strapped to your tongue.  Both her nipples and clit will enjoy the extra stimulation.  Jackie might use the one wrapped around her fingers as she runs over my ass or as she runs her hand over my cock.

A TENS unit, Speculums, blind folds, gags, feathery boas, soft swatches of cloth, candles made for using on dripping, and of course bricks of batteries to keep everything going all fill the 2 drawer chest.

We have male masturbators.   Places to lube up and slide in and out of.  Sometimes it gives her a break.  Sometimes it's just to get me started.  Sometimes when she's gone it gives me something to do.  Over the years we've purchased vibrating ones, small ones, disposable ones.  There's always one or two in the drawer, even though they aren't used to often. 

Oh and lubes, we have lubes by the gallon.  Hot and spicy, flavored, synthetic, water based, oils, and more.  You need them for most of the toys, though you have to be careful as some of the rubber toys can be ruined by some of the lubes.

For those who have only one or heaven forbid no toys, we recommend you save a couple of bucks and start working on your collection.  We budget our toys like most budget their Starbucks. It's an important part for us so we save up so we can get what we want when we want them.  Maybe you're not into some of the things we like to play around with, that's ok, but surely you could use some extra stimulation on occasion.  What guy wouldn't want to walk into his gal with a vibrator thrashing on her clit and as he walks in she screams for him to get over there and finish her off.  Or to feel a second 'cock' as you slid in?

So I guess what I'm saying is while not everyone needs enough toys that need to be carried by a caravan of elephants like Jackie has, we both think that they have made a great improvement in our sex lives and how we play.  Want some suggestions then ask Jackie or I and we'll give you some ideas.  Have a question on a particular item then ask and we'll see if we know.

Most toy stores that we go to have 2 things that we like.  First of all the 'new style' store isn't a dark dingy place but a well lite place where other women work and are willing to recommend toys after finding out what you like.  They'll let you put in batteries and see how the toy works before you take it home and play.  Some vibrators just aren't worth a plug nickle, so best to know before you pay for them.  Second is that often times there is a 'ladies' or 'couples' day where you can get your toys at a discount.  If you're going to purchase a toy and can save 10% or 20% why wouldn't you?  And of course you can always shop online, but I highly recommend you find one with reviews before you purchase.

Got a particular toy you like best?  Let everyone know here in the comments.  I'll tell you Jackies favorite is her Bodywand.  She loves the punch that thing has and as long as I don't forget to recharge it (then her favorite toy is the paddle) after her second usage it keeps her going.  The new models will  let you plug in if the batteries dies though.  Me?  I'm kinda partial to the fist.  Not something we use every day, but oh my what a job it does.

Dane

Anal, Dildos, Fisting (Day 2)

Ok, I know this is a repeat, but i think it will take a few times this month to stretch my ass to fist.  Once we've acchieved it we might change a couple of the future ones. I know we've done this before, but it's definitely one of my favorites.  You strap on a dildo and fuck my ass hard.  If you'd like you could add a firm and solid beating of my ass with a paddle or crop or what ever you decide it would be a good day for it.

While you're on my backside I'd like you to vary it some, push me as much as you can in what ever you decide to do that day, here's a couple of ideas:
   1) The hot oils on my genitals
   2) Spank my ass, I'm talking really spank it. If you'd like to use a paddle or something like that please do. I'm even ok if you want to use the whip or something on my back. A whelp or 2 (or 10) is ok for this month.
   3) You can use clothes pins on my sack, or penis, or where ever you'd like
   4) One of the days you might cuff me(I have a pair of handcuffs, I just need to make sure I have the key)
   5) Each day you can decide if you want to tie me down, gag me, blindfold me, etc. or just bend me over.
   6) I know we'd have to move bring stuff downstairs, but it might actually be easier for you to bend me over the sofa arm and attacking me.At least once or 2x *hint hint*

So today was day 2 of the anal/fisting on me.  Jackie added a vibrating egg underneath her strap on so that she would get some good vibs too.  I never expected that I would feel those vibrations as well as I did too. I'll be modifying her her strap on with a pocket so she can add her egg when we play in the future.  .  

She tried some new positions for her that sent me over the top quickly.  Amazing what a good prostate massage will do for a guy.  It didn't take me long to scream that I was there and was definitely well satisfied with the session.

Unfortunately I've found no matter how much lube we use, and we apply it very liberally, the motion will eventually get to me more than the trying to stretch me will.  So it's easier to try to fist me first then have her use her strap on on me then it is to go the other way around.  Now the burn goes away quickly (within an hour) and honestly it feels amazing as it 'calms down' so I don't mind, but we weren't able to try fisting today. 
.
Oh, and did I mention that she took me up on #2?  First she spanked me with her hand, then a ping pong paddle we bought for the occasion.  OH MY!  She would swat my bottom then kiss where she spanked.  It was the truest sense of pleasure and pain.  The fine line between Ouch that !@#$$%  hurts and OUCH that feels !@#$% fantastic.  She said my bottom was nice and red before she bent me over and had her way with me.  I just know it was hot. Giving her control like that was great!

We tried several new things this afternoon and we both enjoyed it. On the excitement scale it ranked right up there off the chart. It was new.  It was different.  It was mutually enjoyable.  That's just a small benefit to what this Sexuary is all about for Jackie and I.  Are you doing something to help you make a change in your relationship?  We're 1/3rd of the way done with Sexuary, don't wait do something today!

Dane

Man what a day...it just seemed to go on and on and on.  I really thought we might not get to play today.  I have been battling a headache for 2 days.  I have managed to push through them and while I get some relief for an hour or so they do come back with a vengence. 
I normally I tell Dane, to be ready when I get home from work, and be ass up waiting for me.  Today, I told him to get ready but he did not have to be ass up.  I swear I was waiting forever but in reality it was only a few minutes.  I was anxious, even though he thought I was not "into it" I really was, I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to do while waiting.  He usually has stuff all set out that he wants to me use, or hints on what he wants to do to him.  I really was like a fish out of the water.  I floundered around, going through our toy drawer, looking and shuffling around trying to "feel the right thing".  I took out some things and put them on the side table, went and strapped on my dildo, got some new batteries for a new egg I had just gotten.  
I just had this urge to come up behind him and play with him with him on his side.  He had a nice butt plug in and man was it hot! There is NOTHING that beats giving him a nice ass fuck...I decided to just try some new things, I spanked him with my hand and then asked him if he would like me to use the paddle.  OMG it was awesome, as I spanked him and he would shiver with pleasure, I would get a good whack then bend down kiss and caress and bite where I just spanked...It sent me OVER the edge...OH my...I know he wanted me to try and get that fist in him but damn I just really really did I say really wanted to ram that ass! And boy did I! Between my egg and my orgasm it was a night I would not forget.  My body hasn't let me forget either, I have sore muscles that I had no idea I had that reminded me all day long the great play session we had yesterday.
Jackie