Sexuary 2020 - Cupping

As part of the planning for this Sexuary, I ordered both glass cups for cupping and a plastic set with hand pump. Today was the day to break them out. Now before today I've watched several videos, but the best one I found was here.

I didn't let Jackie know what we were doing, I just had her lay on the massage table, face down. I had prepared the cups, and had a candle lit with my firewand soaking in 91% isopropyl alcohol. Every place I went  91% is recommended over the standard 70%.  I was able to find it at Walmart. So everything was ready.

The first couple I attempted stuck ok, but weren't the best. I wasn't quick enough from the flame to the skin, but they all did stick and they all did draw in skin. 

I then used a couple of the hand pump cups on her legs. I had a few issues till I realized the center piece had to be pulled up sometimes prior to using the pump.  I also had to play with the amount of pumps to use.  I started with 4, WAY to many. 2 seemed to be the magic number. Tight enough to do the work, soft enough to be able to get them off.

This is just 1 more thing on our bucket list that we've had that we can now cross off. One of the great parts about this is we now everything we need to do this time and time again. The glass cups in particular are good for a long time if taken care of.

We're well along into Sexuary now. What do you have planned that is different then you usually do? What can you and your partner do that will enhance your sex life, or maybe it's just your relationship you need to enhance, but something like a massage, or cupping, or a huge hug can make a difference.

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Fireplay

So one of the things I had planned for this month was a bit of fireplay.  We've seen it done many times, but had not ever tried it. So what better time to try it then during Sexuary.  No it's not an orgasmic thing, but it does feel great.

So I had ordered a pack of firewands (though you could use a cotton ball and a hemostat) and found some mousse that had alcohol in it (I know so little about mouse, but I figured out some don't have it). Really that's all you need.

Well just like the needles, I wanted to practice myself prior to trying on Jackie.  So while Jackie has taken off I pulled everything out and tried it out. Other than the singed hairs on my leg (yeah, I really though that one through). It was a nice warm sensation as the whoosh ran across my leg.  I hit the mousse again with the firewand and off it went again and again.  I wiped the mousse off and did it again and again. It was pretty cool.

So it wasn't what was on the agenda for the night, Jackies adventures had brought her in late the night before when we were supposed to, so I decided to try it that night instead, as I knew she'd enjoy it. I cleared the linen off the massage table and put her on there then got the stuff out.

I drew my design on her back and whoosh the fire lit up.



I did several patterns and tried different ways of lighting the designs to see if I could get them to go longer.  We did down her legs and then her belly too before we were all done. Other than the fact I really needed a tripod to get all the videos I wanted it was pretty cool. Over all we spent about 45 minutes lighting fires and watching them go.  Another thing off our bucket list to learn.

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Roll Playing

One of the things Jackie and I aren't the best at is talking during sex. Occasionally there are some sounds, but we're really not much of talkers during sex. We have a friend how has bragged about her roll playing sexcapades, so I decided to throw that into this sexuary.

I got the room ready, had brought in everything needed to play doctor and told Jackie what to wear (a skirt and shirt with no panties or bra.

The annual exam included breast exam, reflex exam (using the wartenberg wheel of course), then of course the speculum went in and then I had to test her orgasmic reflexes using her vibrator. For the record she passed with flying colors. I then used a soft sound and got it about 3" in and then decided to use a steel sound.  Yeah that didn't work so well for Jackie. But hey we learned. I then did a little fisting on her using gloves (no better than without gloves). We ended up by the doctor taking advantage of his already orgasmic patient, bending her over the exam table, lifting her skirt and taking advantage of her. 

We had to communicate during the 'exam' portion, still not great during the sex part, but hey it was definitely something different for us.

We tried 2 new thing with the roll playing and the sounds on her. I know the sound wasn't a big thing for her, and maybe another time we'll try it.  The roll play was a bit awkward, but I think if we did it a couple more times it could get better. I told her I have it scheduled 1 more time this month with a different scenario, so we'll see.

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Needle Play

One of the things Jackie had expressed an interest in was needle play.  We've seen it several times at events we've gone to and it intrigued us. We've actually been to classes on this taught at Kink Fest by Guru Sean. We've also seen his extreme works where he goes all the way up to hooks.

So class taken, and supplies ordered.  I've pulled out a couple of each needle size and tried them on my leg just to practice a bit and to know a bit what it feels like and practice a bit of technique. I really believe anyone who would do something like needle play should know what they are inflicting on anyone they are applying it to.

Even though Jackie wants this she's a bit nervous the day of.  I try to keep her calm and we get her on the massage table.  We're going to work on her upper back today. I've let her pick the spot, though I tell her we'll want to try other spots. I wipe the spot down and make sure it's clean and sterile, gloves on, the box with needles ready and here we go.

I've got an idea, I want to make a heart on her back, but not sure how it's going to work, but like all of Sexuary I'll be flexible if I run into problems. Of course I start with the smallest needles we have.  I put in a few of them. I have to admit Jackies reaction isn't exactly what I expected.  She's having to breath through each stick.  My inexperience has a couple of the needles going further under the skin then others. This is not what I'm wanting for a 1st time try. 

The heart, well let's just say the attempt at a heart, quickly disappears. I can't create the curves needed to make the heart. I'm sure it's doable but it's not happening today, by me. Plan B, be creative and make it look ok. So I create a symmetrical pattern (my logical mind at work). I use every size needle we have.  She definitely feels the larger ones, but honestly not as much as I was afraid she would. 

Twenty-one needles later we were finished. I felt that was a great place to stop. I'd of loved to try a couple of other spots, but sometimes knowing when to stop is the most important part of any kind of play.

Now I think Jackie thought I was going to let her off easy, but this is Sexuary 2020, the pancentric month of sex.  I hadn't seen any orgasms happen yet. So I grabbed the magic wand and while Jackie was still on the table I applied it to ...well you get the idea.  It didn't take long before a mind blowing orgasm hit.  The pain of the needles turning to pure pleasure as her body blew it's orgasmic gasket.

While removal of the needles can have some pain, they honestly don't hurt much pulling them out (I know from experience even).  Needles all put into the collection box, the alcohol rubs definitely burn a bit as I clean up a little of the mess. I put meat packing over the area (the absorbent pads that are on the bottom of the meat packaging work great for this, thank you Guru Sean),  and we go to relax. For the rest of the night Jackie definitely knows she's been needled, but it's not unbearable, and at times, it's just a gentle reminder of the great afternoon we've had together.

If you're interested in needle play I suggest you find someone who is in it, ask LOTS of questions, try it on a thigh or something on yourself to see what you're getting into. Read what you can. I think I've spent about $30 in total for 250 needles of varying size, and all the gloves, etc.  I took an old coffee can and made it into my needle collection (sealed the top, cut a slit in for hte needles and marked it as hazardous).  So it's an inexpensive 'kink' to try out.

Sexuary is in full fling now...do you have any plans? Are you going to do something different for Sexuary 2020 this year? You still have time, go for it!

Dane

Needle play, well I asked for it.  I have actually been asking for it for a while but we just never have done it.  So that was certainly one that would be on the calendar this year.

I had told Dane that I was nervous. I wasn't sure what I was to feel or how to feel but I can tell you that it wasn't anything I have felt before.  

I have gotten tattoos before and this can't even compare.  From the very littlest needle to the biggest one I had to breath through each and everyone.  It was painful but not painful enough to stop.  Once all the needles were in, it actually didn't hurt as bad.  I didn't get up and walk around but I did move my arm around to see what it felt like.  I could feel them but it was not terrible.  It did not make me cum while he was placing needles, it still  was exciting.  It really didn't take long when Dane got out the the wand to make me come.

The after effects felt like I had a slight sunburn and maybe a little heat like you get when you have a shot or tattoo.  

We will defiantly be looking at this again.  Once is truly not a real experience.   
Jackie 

Sexuary 2020 - Flogging

This is not a new subject for us. Flogging is something Jackie and I have enjoyed it for a couple of years.  Last year we blogged here about flogging.  Since then we've added several more floggers to our arsenal and have continued to enjoy them. 

Normally pain is not the point of our flogging, but when paincentric is the plan for the month, well you flog a bit harder.  Now we did some sensation work prior to flogging, and when I started I warmed Jackie up with 100 or so lashes as a low level.  Afterwards I started adding a bit more swing to it, until we were at a good swing and the lashes were leaving red marks down Jackies back and ass.  She was moaning and groaning with each stroke, and when she got to a point let me know she was at 'yellow'.  I didn't stop, but I was much more particular about my strokes.

When we were done I had to lay Jackie down on the massage table.  Her eyes were rolled and she was shaking.  After some water and chocolate and about 30 minutes she was back to reality.  I put lotion on her back and while she felt the effects of for the rest of the night, in the morning she was fine and no marks were left.

Now in the meantime there was literally a puddle of cum under Jackie where she had orgasmed.She's came over and over again while we were flogging.  The pain turned to pure pleasure. The fine line between pleasure and pain and pain as pleasure is remarkable.  The endorphins created on either one are the same endorphins and Jackies' experienced it yesterday while I flogged her. 

On a side note, we have a friend we introduced to flogging.  When she first started she was scared and was very hesitant.  Once she experienced it, by someone who knew her and cared, and wasn't just an asshole trying to beat her, she realized how extremely exciting it can be. She LOVES flogging now.  You MUST trust the flogger (DOM) to know you and know your limits. You must not play with a wanna-be DOM who just wants to beat someone.  It's imperative that you protect yourself with knowledge so you don't get hurt. But don't be afraid of flogging, it's a great tool in reaching new heights.

Again, we don't get any money from them, but www.flogmebaby.com has always treated us fantastic and has a great product for a great price.

Dane

Flogging....what can I say I love flogging. There is no way to describe the feeling that happens as your body crosses over the pain/pleasure threshold. I could feel my eyes roll back in my head, my breathing changing as I slipped into sub space.  Due to going back and forth into subspace, I can only tell you that I really enjoyed this flogging session, yes it was much harder than we have ever done but the feeling of release I had and have had thru all of this is more than I can describe. 

 I remember a big puddle under me when Dane had to lead me back to the table to rest.  I know I drank so water, some chocolate to help with my lightheaded head rush. Then I remember going to sleep for about an hour. 

I was able to get into subspace because I totally trust Dane.  He is my dom and knows exactly how much to push me and what to do for aftercare.
Jackie
 

Sexuary 2020 - Our Dungeon

Every once in a while the stars align and we get one of our bucket list wishes come true.  That happened for us when our 4 bedroom house became vacant except for Jackie and I.  What does that mean? It means we have PLENTY of room to do whatever we want in our house, and no one to wonder in 'accidently'.  So what did we do? We took all the toys we've purchased or built over the last 14 years and built a dungeon! I mean an honest to goodness dungeon!

We've enjoyed many kinks over the last several years (as you can read in this blog) and so we've added to our 'tools of the trade'.  We have the rack that can be used for rope suspension and I've added an adult swing for this Sexuary.

When a local dungeon was moving they had some of their equipment for sale, so when the spanking bench came up we snagged it.  It's way over kill for anything Jackie and I would use (it has hand clamps, and a male masturbater built into it.  It's very sturdy and while if I was building one I'd make some adjustments, for the $50 we paid for it is a great addition to our new dungeon area.

For those of you who build I'd make the center piece and the legs a bit adjustable so that the ass height and the comfort of the sub is better met.

Next we've got a massage table. OH the many uses this table has. Yes, we've done massages on it, but we've also used it as a bed. The head piece pulls out and so you have a square end to lay on. The legs are adjustable, so the height is perfect for Jackie to be laying on it and for me to have a straight shot into her treasure chest.

You'll notices the chaise lounger in the corner.  I know the old 50's movies used them to make the ladies look sexy, but Jackie can bend over the end, lay ass up, or ...well just us your imagination as to what all you can do with it.

Last is the St Andrews Cross I built a year or two ago.  I've built a frame for the bottom with the intentions of taking it places with us over the next year.  A couple of pins and 1 bolt and it will totally come apart and pack away.

The mats on the floor (which we've moved) really do make a difference when you're standing on the floor.  These are from Walmart and are 6 - 1/2" mats for $12.  We have about 125 sq/ft of matting on our floors now. They also are very easy to clean when Jackie gets very orgasmic. 

In the closet we have everything from floggers to needles, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, masturbators, nipple and clit clamps, rope and suspension equipment, TENS units, Violet Wand, other electrical attachments, and anything else we've come across and wanted/needed over the years and of course plenty of lubes. 

We haven't played with everything here, the needles are coming but we are prepared, and there are other boxes I haven't unveiled yet so I can surprise Jackie when the time comes.  When we do have something we like, we go ahead and get good equipment and make sure we have a variety of them. Floggers for instance, we have 6 or 7 of them, varying weight and lengths (Get your flogger at Flogmebaby.com Steven there will treat you right!). 

While over the decades we've spent plenty of money on putting everything in this dungeon together, it's not like the equipment in there is thousands of dollars. We probably have $500 - $600 dollars in floor equipment.  That's all 5 pieces. And if you're a great shopper like Jackie you could probably do it for less.The spanking bench was $50, because we just keep our eyes open for deals like that. You could probably find a massage table and other things for a dungeon. We have another $500 - $750 in 'toys' in the closet.  A lot of that stuff was purchased before Amazon and Wish were around and big into adult toys and gadgets, and has taken us almost 15 years to accumulate. So start small and go from there. Scan through Wish.com and see things that are intriguing to you and get them. Soon you'll have your own collection for a dungeon if you're lucky like Jackie and I are. 

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Playing with Sparks

So electricity is nothing new to Jackie and I. It is not a front shelf item, but it is something we breakout from time to time.  When I think of paincentric electricity definitely fits into that category.  There is a working through the pain that brings you to a pleasure that won't be reached otherwise.

This time though our rules changed a bit. In the past the person receiving the electricity has always been in control of the device.  You control the power, and most of the time you even dictated where and how long it would go on an area.  In our paincentric experiment I took that away from Jackie.

The beauty of electricity is it doesn't just stay where you put it, but it travels through the body.  The initial spark will tantalize the area, it can hurt so good!

We happen to have a professional TENS unit, but we also have a Violet Wand (knockoff) and a new Therapy Pen. 

Wish link
This little device is powered by 1 AA battery, and kicks a nice punch. For about $6 from wish you can have one too. When you have your hand on your partner and touch them with the pen you'll feel the electricity, no matter how far away your hand is. While I don't feel anything until about level 5, Jackie felt it at 1, so sensitivity is an individual thing. We never got to 9 last night.

Additionally, years ago we purchased an electric wand.  It's not a true Violet Wand (brand name) but does a great job. These start about $40 on Amazon.  They are WONDERFUL! Different attachments do different things. The experience you can create with this little device would definitely add to any spanking bench or St Andrews Cross. 

Amazon Link


Afterwards Jackie mentioned she'd like to pull this one further to the front of the list than it has been in the past. So I think it went over well.

On a side note, I also broke out a spreader bar for the first time.  It wasn't necessary for the play we were doing, but it was a great time to introduce something new.  They went over well actually. Better than I thought. I have other plans for it over the month, and now know she won't freak out over having them put on.

Where are you at on your Sexuary? Any plans? It officially starts in 2 days, so you still have time to plan something, ANYTHING different for next month.  Be it 1x or 29 times, do something out of your box!

Dane

Playing with Sparks...so I do not know what we are doing each day, Only Dane does.  This being said I knew that this would be a great night of play.  I started the evening with a margarita, a hot bath and an edible that I had made....Hot baths always mean a good clean shaved pussy afterwards...So after I ate the edible I got way over heated and quickly got out of the bath and got to my chair to cool off.  I had a pretty good buzz going as I sat there.  After about 30-45 mins I told Dane I was good to go.  

I thought I still had my buzz going but it wasn't long after getting into the leg spreader that he began tonight's session. I had been blindfolded so I couldn't see anything.  I heard a click click click as something came on. My mind going thru the roller deck of sounds...nope not this toy....nope not this one...well I never would have guessed it since it was a new one. He stroked it up and down...It was an electric pen type thing..I could tell it was a small head and not the violet wand.  While it wasn't painful, it did not get me to the edge like we had hoped.  He switched to the violent wand again it was great but never really got me to the edge.  Even his normal touching never got me to the edge. It was then that we both realized I was no longer high.  We did stop and lay together and talk about all that had happened this night, going thru the "thorns and roses" of the evening.  We did go later and finish up, after all this is Sexuary and its about both of us enjoying ourself.

While we haven't always played while I was high, we specifically know that it helps me with the Anixety of the unknown.  That while I don't want to be so high that I can't function, I do like the euphoria that makes my nerves on fire.  I love it really to be honest.  So this night was a bit of a let down due to that, but only due to that.  We discussed that I don't want this electricity s to go into the "back of the closet"  I would like to revisit it, both high and not...Jackie

  

Sexuary 2020 - Overcoming Fears

So one of the new things Jackie has been worried about is the spanking bench.  I have obvious plans for it over the month, but they are frightful for Jackie, it's one of the reasons she doesn't know what the calendar has on it day to day.  I don't want her to get into her head before she can enjoy it.  It happened during one of our first Sexuarys and didn't want it to happen again.

Yesterday she was planning on taking a trip for the rest of the week, and had said that my lovely wife would be waiting bent over and waiting to be taken when I got back from work.  Well plans changed again, but she promised she'd still be bent over, I'd just have to find where she was bent over at.

I got home from work, 75% stripped before the garage door was closed and I was in the house looking for my bride. When I found her she was bent over on the spanking bench, her ass up in the air and begging to be taken.  After a few rips of my nails down her back I took advantage of her, all the while spanking her ass.

SHE alone chose that as the staring point, and it was to over come her fear of the bench.  How many things in life, but especially sexually do we avoid because we fear it?  I hear all the time how people are afraid of a flogger, or rope tying, or so many other things that if you got over the stigma and fear you might find you enjoy it. Don't let fear keep you from trying something sexually.  Anal is another so many fear, and yet I've told you how even I love a good ass fucking.  Take it slow, you don't jump in with both feet to start, but try it, whatever 'it' might be.

I had to carry Jackie off the bench she enjoyed it so much.  Her legs were weak and she was spent.  The floor was soaked and she was well satisfied.

Dane

PS, I LOVED the nice red hand prints on her ass when we were done.

So as we were prepping for Sexuary we pulled all our stuff out to get our own dungeon put together.  After seeing it set up I had a some anxiety.  Not sure why because most of it we had played with over the last several years so there was really nothing I should have been scared of.  There was a piece of furniture that we had purchased a few months ago that of course Dane had pulled in, pushed all the buttons , turned it off and on. He was very excited about all the potential things it could be used for.  So he brought it inside.  It sat there in the corner, staring at me, of course my mind went into freak out mode...I told Dane one day driving that the only thing that worried me in the room was the spanking bench.  I couldn't explain why but dang it did.

So here we are beginning Sexuary, I have had several days of being high and my nerves were LIT.  They seem to stay that way even a day or two later I am still electrified. I did take another hit off my bong and waited until I knew he was almost home from work. 
I had been teasing him all day long with text about being bent over and wonder where I would be.  I wouldn't tell him where I would be and that he needed to find me.  

So I went into our play room and decided that I would conquer that beast in the corner.  I layed over on it, put my wrist in the holders and waited.  

Dane did an amazing job getting me warmed up, getting me excited.  It was the one of the best nights we have had.  I was still on fire even when we went to bed I could still remember each and every touch, scratch, handprint, bite, kiss, touch.  I replayed them over and over in my head all night long.  I woke myself up dreaming about a great orgasm 2 times that night.  I can't remember the last time I did that.  

With all this being said, I conquered a fear.  A fear of the unknown, a fear of  what could happen, a fear of  fear, a fear of whatif....What did I do...I took my fear and conquered it.

Jackie

 

Sexuary 2020 - Starting Sexuary a Bit High

We've always said we've had to be very flexible with Sexuary.  Our calendar is a great start but things happen and we have to be able to go with the flow. So of course we've had 2 major changes that have changed the calendar, and...well we've unofficially started Sexuary.  So totally unplanned, more it was meant to be in prep for Sexuary, we started.

So over the last year Jackie has had a couple of very positive experiences with pot.  A friend offered her some, and with my being ok with it, she imbibed.  Now when I was a teenager I experimented with some pot, but that was 40 years ago, and honestly I don't remember other than the munchie and spacing out anything about it. I sure don't remember the names Indica or Sativa. But during her playing around we found that she got, let's say very sensitive. My touching her skin would send her into a trance and to say she'd be very susceptible to monkey loving sex would be an understatement.  This fall we tried again and were disappointed when we found out that the Indica does not have the same effect the Sativa did, or the mix we found in California edibles.

So Jackie found some Sativa for Sexuary and was 'testing it out' and yeap, that was the stuff she'd tried before that did the trick.  My nails running along her belly, my bites on her breast and thighs, my lips on her clit all sent her nerves over the top.  Her orgasms were plentiful and over the top.  When done she had a couple of hickies, maybe a bite mark or 2 and the bed was soaked from the days adventures. Sexuary has started off with a bang.

Now I don't care you're position on pot. What I'm talking about is the side effects it has for Jackie sexually, and let me tell you they are positive! It's not like a drunk where you just get numb, it's like you've been electrocuted and all your nerves are firing...and oh boy that sure can make sex great.

I don't know the effects on everyone else, but the couple of edibles Jackie has made for this Sexuary should make it an interesting month.

Dane

PS, we're still 'officially' days away from Sexuary.  If your sex life isn't 100% perfect, NOW is the time to do something. Make a change! Do something different this month you don't normally do! The the aggressor, be the submissive, go neck in the car, sext with your partner, do SOMETHING different, now is the time to plan and execute that plan.

Jackie here...so as you can see we have been playing around with pot.  Which one would do "the trick"? Which one causes a great buzz but yet makes your nerves on edge with electricity and which one doesn't? Which one makes you sleeping, hungry or or or or...

In our trying things out over the course of a year or so its been hard to nail it down.  Was it Sativa or Indica (I mean 30 years ago the question was is it skunk or not) The person whom I had been smoking with had no clue what she had since it was given to her. When I went to Cali I had to explain that I was a recreational user and that meant maybe 3 times a year in the last year.  They just suggested some edibles (which were awesome) but I didn't know until last week what they were.  

So this brings us to last fall.  I  get some "Sticky Garcia" which I later found out was an Indica Blend.  I made it into edibles and while I loved the "chilling" out part, in no way shape or form did it set me on fire.  Almost the opposite, I have now being taking them to sleep better.  I sleep hard as a rock after I eat an Indica ball. 

This past week I contacted someone and told them specifically I wanted Sativa and make it good.  I talk the talk but really have no idea about things...lol...So we pick it up, I have now bought a bong, a grinder, and storage to hopefully keep that wonderful smell  from being all over the house. I get home and have a hit or two not sure what to expect. Wondering is this what I was hoping or is this gonna be another let down.  Well let me tell you THIS is the stuff....Sexy Sativa...my flavor right now is Orange Crush...Holy Shit once it hit it was like every nerve in my body was on fire.  The breeze from the fan made me tingle, the clothes on my body were too much.  I can tell you each and every nerve in my body was LIT. 

Dane took me to the bedroom and trailed his nails up and down my body it was like  nothing I had experienced.  It was pure hot bliss.  You can't fight your body reactions the only thing you can do is roll with it.  Man did I roll.  Between the nails, the biting, the scratching, the spankings and (I am sure I am missing something) It was like no other time.  There is NOTHING that can compare to it.  It is even hard to put it down on paper the feeling of pure ecstasy, orgasms that roller over and over and over harder than the one before. OMG my eyes roll back in my head just thinking about it... 

So just remember if your going to experiment, start slow.  One or two tokes, one edible until you know how you react.  Sexy sativa or indca(in-da-couch) Any questions use this chart to help or ask.  If I don't know I will find out for you!--Jackie

Sexuary 2020 - A Paincentric Month

Now that we're in 2020, and Sexuary is fast approaching, Jackie and I have had the opportunity to discuss and decide on what we wanted to do this year that would be different.  For those of you new to Sexuary, it was brought to us from Christine Moers and her blog Welcome to My Brain. Her challenge was to do something different sexually with your partner during the month of February, hence Sexuary.  To some, that means having being intimate for the first time in forever.  For some, that meant pushing your boundaries.  So Jackie and I have done variations of Sexuary over the years, from sex every other day ....which led to the year of sex every day for a month, to trying out different kinks, now that's where our lives changed.

So we've tried, and keep trying different kinks that allow us to grow sexually. Things we never would of thought we'd like, we do! Things we weren't ready for mentally (and let's face it sex is every bit as much sexual as it is physical) we are now.

So in our discussions, Jackie mentioned she would like to try a month centered around pain.  For those of you who don't know, pain and pleasure are close cousins.  The endorphins release in both are the same.  Your body can reach to pain all the way to an orgasm if you're very present and learn to use those endorphins. You can fly high on pain like nothing else. So this year we are going to be focusing on pain, and different ways to introduce it to the body.

The other thing we decided is that while there will be a calendar, only I will know what's on that for 25 of the 29 days, and Jackie will know what's on the other 4 without my knowledge.  There is no chance to over thing the pain coming for that day.  It will just happen in it's own time. On Mondays Jackie is in charge of the pain, and I will switch and be the bottom.  1) I enjoy giving up control sometimes, 2) I think every top should have the experience of being a bottom to see what they are doing, it helps when boundaries are getting close to know why those are there. Additionally we've added that every 4th day Jackies vagina will get a break.  Now, not to say there won't be any activities, but unless she just begs for it, those 4th days will have to find other ways to orgasm, ahhh the challenges.

So my challenge was set before me and I have created my 2020 calendar.  Of course we'll be blogging as we go, but unlike in the past we won't post a calendar of what's to come. 

And while obviously things like flogging, which we've already blogged about, will be in the mix, I have at least 10 different elements that we have not done before. Now some of these we've watched. Some we've taken classes on, either through Texas Kink Fest, or various organizations we've attended events with over the last several years.I will let out, since Jackie already knows, that we will be playing with needles some. We've found the art to be beautiful, and Jackie was very interested. So we've taken a class, I've ordered the material needed and we're going to try it.  Now for the record, we are using very small gauge needles, and at least at this time Jackie isn't desiring hooks or other large gauges.....at least for now. Pain as pleasure, all rolled into one.

Hopefully Jackie will put her two cents in as to her experiences as we try new things. We like to give both perspectives when we can. It's interesting when you see it from the others vantage point sometimes.

So there you have it. Most of the packages have arrived, my calendar is penciled in (always able to erase and change things around), and now we wait til January 30th.  This year due to other plans we're going to go from 1/30 - 2/27, with the 27th being a huge surprise for Jackie, oh I can't wait. We hope you'll join us on our journey and comment or question as we go along. If you're joining in on Sexuary, let us know! We love to know others are joining in, pushing their limits sexually, going where they don't generally go.  And we'll share some specifics on where we've learned some of these things as we go so if you want to try them you know where to get started...so now we wait...oh the hardest part. 

Dane

Sexuary - Dungeon Party

So to end Sexuary we had a birthday party for me at the Austin Dungeon. It's the beauty of having a birthday at the end of Sexuary. So in November Jackie and I decided that this years birthday party would be at the Dungeon.  You can't imagine how excited I was when the decision was made and the deposit was made for the day.

Then comes the next fun decision....who the hell can you invite?  It's not like you can just put out on Facebook that there is a birthday party where we are going to get wild and kinky.  But we have met friends that we knew were in the lifestyle and might just not consider us totally freaky and block us forever.  So the list of 13 people were invited.  Some were unable to come right from the beginning and some backed out for 1 reason or another up until the day of party.  We still wound up with 6 of us there.

I of course was naked as people arrived...cause that's just me.  We had found a Dominatrix outfit for Jackie to start out in. Of course she had to have something to show up in, then she changed, leaving her high heels on and her new cock we got that morning for fucking me with.To say she was fucking hot would be an understatement.

We got to the Dungeon a bit early to set up and get ready.  We didn't have a whole lot of set up, bringing in towels and a bit of food.  More would show up but we just wanted to get started, and let's face it this was a party I didn't want to be late to this party!

The rest of the couples showed up and since not everyone knew everyone we went over a couple of rules. One of the things we've really adapted is the consent rules of if someone says "No" 1x that's the last time you can ask for the day.  A "Maybe" means you can ask 1 more time, but 2 "Maybes" means a no for the day...see rule 1.  After that the fun started.

Now we'd never played with Gomez and Morticia, but we had some 'moments' with them and spent some time with them.  Jackies first french kiss with a woman was with Morticia around a campfire.  So we were hopeful things would work out. Gomez was a bit shy at first, but after a little liquid encouragement even he jumped right in.

We started with me on the spanking bench, bent over while Jackie used the new vibrating cock in my ass.  Others came around and my hands found pussy's and cocks to play with while my ass got pounded.  Thomas and Kitty worked their magic with my ass and mouth and eventually after a while and plenty of satisfaction we took a break. 

After a short break I put Jackie up on the cross where we flogged her.  Several of us took turns and I got to show Morticia just how hot Jackie gets while being flogged.  We drenched the floor with her cum.  I'm not sure why no one believes us, but Jackie seriously squirts when she's orgasmic.  After that we started with other groups forming and group hugs, feeling each other up, licking, sucking, and fucking for the next several hours.   We had the Dungeon for 4 hours and we used every minute of it.  When we left I don't think there was 1 genital that wasn't satisfied. A couple of them were a little raw, and the next day there were some abs that were sore from all the fucking and orgasms.

I think my tongue was the happiest it's ever been.  That night there were several first for different people.  It was a total no judgement zone where everyone was there to have a good time and celebrate my birthday.  I can't imagine a better birthday party every.   Great friends, great sex, and just a totally wonderful day.

I know there are Dungeons for rent in many large cities. Go for it! Figure out that handful of friends you can invite and rent a Dungeon for your next birthday party! Honestly I'm thinking of doing it 2 - 4 times a year I had so much fun!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Five Minute Quickies

So one of the things we've tried this Sexuary is some quickies...setting a timer for 5 minutes and playing.  Could be a 5 minute blowjob.  Could be a 5 minute pussy licking.  Could be 5 minutes bent over the bed and a good fuck.  Timer goes off and play ends .....for the moment. Often it's foreplay.  Sometimes it's just stand alone sex.

Let's face it sometimes a full fledged playtime just isn't going to happen.  But the connections that were made with the 5 minute quickies fill a gap that happen between life and sex.

Even with a house full of people, a 5 minute quickie is doable.  Even with kids screaming your name you can squeeze in a 5 minute quickie. Right? I know we've literally been in the middle as we hear a 2 year old calling our names and ignore them for the rest of the 2 minutes to finish up our 5.  They survived and I was able to make Jackie cum before we answered the beckoning call of the warbling 2 year old.

Sex doesn't have to always be planned, foreplay and full blow sex to be satisfying.  A 5 minute quickie fills in the gaps and can be quite satisfying. Give it a try!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Making out in the car

Ok, do you remember when you got your drivers license?  The best part about it was that your weekend dates could now be unchaperoned right?  And that meant making out in the car on the way to or from each others house.  Or maybe you got to be so fortunate as to go to Make-Out Lane and made out there. We had a bridge I know we could park under that was safe from view.  There were a couple of pull offs that I could pull into behind some trees in another place I lived.  But once we were there it was make out time!

Well to say the house Jackie and I live in is busy would be an understatement.  So finding privacy outside the bedroom has been an issue for us.  Oh don't get us wrong, we obviously find plenty of sex in our bedroom, but sometimes we want to be somewhere else. 

This Sexuary we've brought back making out in the car. Sometimes while returning from our rope dates.  Sometimes just out on the front driveway.  Just to be clear we live in a neighborhood, so it's like when you use to drop your date off and hope her dad wouldn't come knocking on your door.  Cars pass by and others could come out of the house at any time, but we don't care.  I keep a vibrator in the car most of the time, and Jackie can always put on a show.  Or my belt and zipper will magically open up and Jackie could be going down on me.  My fingers will definitely find a clit to rub and potentially a hole or two to fill while we're necking.  Bras never seem to stay on and when we walk back into the house it seems we might carry as much of our clothing as we are wearing.  The car might even have that .....that wonderful smell of, "there has been sex in here" for a day or two afterwards.  You might even get into the car the next day and smile when you have to pull your seat up to drive remembering the adventures of last night.

I know I know we all get so freaking busy that sex, and particularly foreplay, can be put on the back burner.  But let's be real here, it's there if we want it, it just has to become a priority.  And one of the ways to make it that is to take advantage of those few minutes in between here and there while in your car.

If you're fortunate enough like me to have a bench seat it works even better.  If that gives you the motivation to clean out the back seat, that works too.  But all these are just obstacles that can be overcome.

So our advice? Steam up some windows!!! Give your partner a show!!! Reach over and kiss your partner when the vehicle stops and don't let it stop there!!! Bring back making out in the car and act like a teenager!!!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Sweet Spot Nation ...again!

In 2015 we wrote about Sweet Spot Nation.  It's a burlesque show that we've been attending three to four times a year for several years now.  We've actually become friends with a couple of the performers and regular attenders, and admirers of the rest of them. What is a burlesque show? It's a variety show.  In this case it's a variety show that has a sexual theme to it. Our favorite shows are the ones that we have friends that go with us to these shows.  Ok, I'm pretty sure we scared off one of our couple friends forever, but the rest have all had a great time at the show.

The shows are adult shows, no doubt about it, but they are basically a live version of our blog.  What do I mean?  They talk about real issues, sometimes in a comical way.  Sometime seriously.  They dance, they read, they sing, they tell stories, they play games, they demonstrate those things you only read about in 50 Shades Of Gray, and at the end of the night we're all wound up and ready to jump in the sack.

This is one of the public places we go to be free, sexually free.  There are no judgements at the Sweet Spot.  It's about accepting your sexuality and having a great time.  The crowd is as diverse as they come, and the fact they came to town during Sexuary just made it that much better.

What about you? Have you looked to push your limits, go someplace a bit risque? Take your significant other and have a public forum to be adults in?  Go for it, The Sweet Spot is one of ours, and we hope you'll look into going to see them if they come to your town.

Dane