Sexuary 2021 - The Spanking Bench

Ok, I'm not going to lie, the idea of someone on my spanking bench, open and available for my inflicting pain is oddly intoxicating. It will make my dick hard as a rock just thinking about it, so you can imagine my day knowing that this was in my near future...the anticipation was near impossible. 

"It's a very paincentric evening" I warned Jackie.  It's only fair to give her a heads up with all I had in mind.

First we had made out a bit in the living room, just enough to get Jackie her first orgasm, and in a very good place to start.  Let's face it pain is a 2 edge sword, not enough or to much pain becomes just pain, but that right amount of pain become pure pleasure.  Being warmed up prior only makes it easier to make the pain go the right direction...gives you a bigger zone to hit. When we walked into the room I let her know that the school paddles were still in the drawer and would not be used tonight.  I knew this would put her mind at ease some that the 1 thing that can take her to a bad place quickly was not going to be used tonight. 

I placed Jackie on the spanking bench and started with some stroking her back with my finger nails.  It brings the blood to the surface and makes it better for that what is coming.  I check her, and she's very wet already, and I can quickly bring her to another orgasm.  Then I really started.  

First a couple of swats with a riding crop, then I took one of the 2 new floggers we inherited and laid into her a couple of good times.  This one is wider straps, heavier, and definitely a thudder. It's not much of a stinger but is a good warm up.  

Then I broke out one of the whipping cane.  Three swats on the right cheek that definitely left 3 nice whelps.  They are beautiful raised on Jackies ass cheeks. 

Again I check Jackie out, while thrusting I swatted her left ass cheek good and hard.  She jumped as my hand left it's print in her lovely skin.  She came hard and I moved on. 

The next flogger is The Grand Emperor from Flogmebaby.com. It's long tines give a great stinging swat with it's 32" straps.  Her back started to show signs of the abuse it was receiving.... lines raised in her back and when I ran my fingers over her now she definitely arched her back.  

Now her left cheek received the swatting of the 3 swats of cane.  Oh the delicious whelps that started to raise were beautiful.  She was so wet as I slid back into her and brought her to another orgasm.  They are almost coming easier now.  I took the handle to the Grand Emperor and slid it in Jackie and brought her off once more.  

Her right cheek received the smack of my hand, leaving a beautifully raised hand print.   

With both ass cheeks with hand prints, and both with 3 marks each from the cane I brought out the 1 thing Jackie had asked me to try this month, the new yellow flogger we inherited.  One strike of that and it was a quick 'no'.  Later she said it felt like a baseball bat hitting her, and it left 4 square marks on her back where they hit, and honestly I was barely swinging.  I can't imagine if I had gone even 60-70%.  

We moved to the bed and with all the excitement I quickly finished up.  I lost count of the number of orgasms Jackie had in the process. Her pain/pleasure sensors were on overdrive tonight.

Now when we were done I made sure to put some lotions on the marks.  Remember when you do something as traumatic as this scene can be, you need to make sure there is some aftercare.  

If you're interested in the spanking benches, floggers, caning, or any other paincentric activity, please feel free to reach out to Jackie or I for more information. 

Dane

 

Sexuary 2020 - Spanking Bench

So about 6 months ago I purchased a nice spanking bench.  I love the idea of having Jackie on the bench and taking advantage of her in sooooo many ways. But the one I've always wanted that we've never gotten was to paddle her.  Her relatives were school teachers and I've got 2 original school paddles that are at least 40 years old each.  Oh the excitement of getting to use them has had me excited for years.

The problem is that every time we've breached the subject of paddling, Jackie gets into meltdown mode pretty quickly.  We've talked about it many times. During sex I can spank her ass like nobodies business, but just bending her over the bench to spank is a rough one. I want to be clear, we've talked about this and I know Jackies limits.  She also knows I'd stop in a heartbeat if she's heading to a bad place.  I would never do anything to Jackie that was a hard no!

But I knew that I couldn't just bend Jackie over the spanking bench and start paddling her.  This sexuary the wartenberg wheel has been one of those things that will get her to relax.  So I started with the wheels on her back and then added some hand spankings.  Some as I'm running the wheel, some just by themselves (like 5 on each cheek).

After I got her ass a bit warmed up I took a ping pong paddle and kept up with the wheel.  Her ass is a nice pink by now and well warmed up.

So I pulled out the first paddle and popped her ass in between rolls of the wheel.  About 10 pops (and mind you these are not full swings ...but it is a real paddle popping her ass) she starts to cry. Not a cry of pain from the paddle though, I can tell that.  So I lean in to talk to her, she tells me she's ok and to please keep going. She promises me she's not in a bad place, and it's not anything about the paddling.

I trust Jackie. We've been in similar places before and I believe her. Whatever it is we'll deal with, but for now we'll keep going. Ten more swats with the second paddle and then I finish up. I give her extra aftercare.  I have her lay on me and I rub her for about 30 minutes as she comes back down from her space.

Later that night when I felt it was a good time we talked again. In the past I've asked her dozens of times why she goes south when we talk about paddling and she's never had an answer. She swears she didn't know. Well, while I was paddling her she had an image of her begging her mom to stop paddling her. She had done something and was getting spanked. She doesn't remember the incident, it's just these images she got while we were scene'ing.  We don't know how this will play out in the long run.  It could be that she's got answers now and spanking/paddling won't be an issue anymore. It could be that it will only get worst. It will be something I'll have to watch in the future.

But we always try to tell the good with the bad, and we're not sure where this comes yet, but at the moment it wasn't the best of things. How it was handled from the time the emotions appeared to the time we totally ended the scene is very important. If you didn't know your bottom you could have a serious issue. This is why communication before, during and after is so important. If I hadn't know Jackie like I did I would of immediately ended the scene and gone straight to aftercare when the first tear hit.

After all was said and done, it was a good scene.  One we'll try again, keeping in mind what happened this time and watching closely for emotions rising.  We'll talk and deal with whatever might come.

Dane

Spanking.
So Dane had me go to the spanking bench, once again blind folded. I laid across it, he starts his usual touch routine, now we have added the wheels(OMG my #1 thing from this month).  This time pop....touch..pop pop pop.  I knew he was warming me up, I had no idea what he was using tho. 
I knew it eventually got to the paddles.  The paddles that have been hidden for as long I can remember.  Paddles that have memories attached but not my memories. Hell one has masking tape around it from when it was used at school and broke against a 4th graders butt.

Pop pop pop pop...other things, pop pop pop...and the tears start to flow...Not just little tears but sobs..They won't stop, they just flow.  Dane asks if I was ok, I tell him yes yes I am.  I practiclly beg for him to not stop.  I know in a moments notice if my body language changes,or I shut down.  He will shut the scene off. I knew I needed to do this.  To see if I could get answers, to try to figure out why this is a NO and has been for a long while.
 
I can tell you from past experiences its not my thing.  I go into a negative rabbit-hole.  Lost for days or weeks before I can snap out of it.   We have tried to figure out my trigger, what does it look like, what does it feel like, what does it smell like. I have never been about to tell him, I have never been able to tell anyone what happened in the past.  I can tell you there are several years that I don't have a lot of memories of.  Years.  Years to only have one or two memories.  Some good some not so good.  But not once did I have anything that was about my mom.   Today, this spanking session sparked something. It still has yet to reveal the whole thing.  I was telling Dane my filing cabinet has been opened and a file folder has been dumped, I am having a hard time seeing whats in the folder, I see pictures or flashes but the memory is just not there.  I can hear myself saying things but don't know what lead up to that or what followed.  I can hear myself saying "I am sorry mommy, I promise to be a good girl" I can see where it happened.  I am not sure I want to know.  My mom is gone so I can't ask her, my dad is gone I can't ask him.  It was before a sibling was born.  I know as I look back in the past I can see stuff that makes total sense now that I didn't understand then.  Sometimes we have to go thru our trigger and see.  Sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you don't really want to open that can of worms.  However to move forward, you have to sometimes do the hard /bad to get to the soft/good.  
 I have done a lot of soul searching this month.  Trying to figure out what makes me tick the way it does.  
Dane did great after care after my breakdown.  He knew and still knows I have to piece together stuff.  He knows this is not going to fix itself, he knows exactly how much to push me.  He knows I will share with him when I am ready. He knows that right now I am not in a negative space.  He also knows he is my safe space.  You guy this couldn't have happened if I didn't trust Dane 110%.  Its taken years for that trust to build to get here.  Even tho we are here, I still have to let go of my control and let him take total control of me, its been a hell of a month!

Jackie

Sexuary 2020 - Caning

For whatever reason (and we've talked about it many times with no real knowledge of where it came from) the mention of spanking Jackie sends her down a rabbit hole fast.  Spanking her while in the middle of sex is ok, flogging is ok, but spanking and instruments used to spank will quickly turn things south mentally.So part of the reason she doesn't know what is coming up each day is so that she doesn't get to go down those rabbit holes prior to trying new things. We've experienced it several times over the years, so we know the risk is real.

So caning definitely falls into that category. I've really wanted to try it on her but know if I told her that it would not go well. So I didn't.  Before we started playing I blindfolded her.  I put her up against the St Andrews Cross where she generally has a great time.  I started using the wartenberg wheels on her and then I stepped back and popped her under her ass cheeks several times.  I could sense the surprise in Jackie, BUT she didn't call out any safe words.  After a couple more minutes with the wartenberg wheel I popped her again.  After some rubbing and more wartenberg wheel I asked her what color she was at, "yellowish green". After a bit more playing and again a color check she was "green".  We were good, she'd jumped over the rabbit hole and would enjoy the moment.

I found the canes here at Amazon. They are a 2 pack and are slightly different.I got to use both on Jackie before pulling her down from the cross to finish her.

So why would I try something like this? First the endorphins for pain and pleasure are the same ones, it's the headspace and situation you're in that dictates whether it's orgasmic or hurtful.  The same canes could be just hurtful if misused.Second, there is something about an ass that has a bright red glow that is such a turn on for me. And last, how will Jackie ever conquer those fears and rabbit holes without her body and mind KNOWING that they are good things, not bad.  So repetitive good events will hopefully over come her mental anguish of spankings and the tools that go with them.

Try it at home. Use your hand, a belt, a ping pong paddle, and just try a bit of spanking play, you might find it more adventurous that you ever though.

Dane

Caining....hmmmm who knew...So over the years Dane and I have talked and tried it.  I did not have an good ending.  I am not sure what has caused it but just know the times we have tried a spanking day, Dane really enjoyed it.  I totally checked out and while I was there physically but not there mentally. 
This year our our "real" lives we have done lots of firsts, and talked for hours upon hours about our kinks, our limits, our hard no's, our ok lets try things.  That leads us up to today.  Caning.  I had no idea that this was planned. He is right I would have gone down a negative rabbit-hole.  

He blind folded me and took me to our dungeon and placed me at the cross.  He ran his hands up and down knowing it help get me into the space he needed me to be.  He got out the wheels...OMG the wheels...I just love them, then right in the middle of a great movement....whap...wait..what was that...whap....oh shit what is it....whap....did he get a new single flogger....whap ...oh hell never mind....let me be in this moment.  I remember him whispering asking me my color...I remember having to get my thoughts back in check to answer.  I remember saying yellowish-green.  I am not sure what I was thinking or not thinking but I do know I was not in a negative space at all.  I do remember tearing up but not sure why but knew it was a good cry not a bad one.  I told him I was good, and I really was.

So I do like the idea of 2 things going on at once.  Really does my mind good, things to stay focused on, things that help me not go down the rabbit-hole.  

Dane has done a great job pushing my limits, helping me figure out things...

Jackie 

Sexuary 2020 - Overcoming Fears

So one of the new things Jackie has been worried about is the spanking bench.  I have obvious plans for it over the month, but they are frightful for Jackie, it's one of the reasons she doesn't know what the calendar has on it day to day.  I don't want her to get into her head before she can enjoy it.  It happened during one of our first Sexuarys and didn't want it to happen again.

Yesterday she was planning on taking a trip for the rest of the week, and had said that my lovely wife would be waiting bent over and waiting to be taken when I got back from work.  Well plans changed again, but she promised she'd still be bent over, I'd just have to find where she was bent over at.

I got home from work, 75% stripped before the garage door was closed and I was in the house looking for my bride. When I found her she was bent over on the spanking bench, her ass up in the air and begging to be taken.  After a few rips of my nails down her back I took advantage of her, all the while spanking her ass.

SHE alone chose that as the staring point, and it was to over come her fear of the bench.  How many things in life, but especially sexually do we avoid because we fear it?  I hear all the time how people are afraid of a flogger, or rope tying, or so many other things that if you got over the stigma and fear you might find you enjoy it. Don't let fear keep you from trying something sexually.  Anal is another so many fear, and yet I've told you how even I love a good ass fucking.  Take it slow, you don't jump in with both feet to start, but try it, whatever 'it' might be.

I had to carry Jackie off the bench she enjoyed it so much.  Her legs were weak and she was spent.  The floor was soaked and she was well satisfied.

Dane

PS, I LOVED the nice red hand prints on her ass when we were done.

So as we were prepping for Sexuary we pulled all our stuff out to get our own dungeon put together.  After seeing it set up I had a some anxiety.  Not sure why because most of it we had played with over the last several years so there was really nothing I should have been scared of.  There was a piece of furniture that we had purchased a few months ago that of course Dane had pulled in, pushed all the buttons , turned it off and on. He was very excited about all the potential things it could be used for.  So he brought it inside.  It sat there in the corner, staring at me, of course my mind went into freak out mode...I told Dane one day driving that the only thing that worried me in the room was the spanking bench.  I couldn't explain why but dang it did.

So here we are beginning Sexuary, I have had several days of being high and my nerves were LIT.  They seem to stay that way even a day or two later I am still electrified. I did take another hit off my bong and waited until I knew he was almost home from work. 
I had been teasing him all day long with text about being bent over and wonder where I would be.  I wouldn't tell him where I would be and that he needed to find me.  

So I went into our play room and decided that I would conquer that beast in the corner.  I layed over on it, put my wrist in the holders and waited.  

Dane did an amazing job getting me warmed up, getting me excited.  It was the one of the best nights we have had.  I was still on fire even when we went to bed I could still remember each and every touch, scratch, handprint, bite, kiss, touch.  I replayed them over and over in my head all night long.  I woke myself up dreaming about a great orgasm 2 times that night.  I can't remember the last time I did that.  

With all this being said, I conquered a fear.  A fear of the unknown, a fear of  what could happen, a fear of  fear, a fear of whatif....What did I do...I took my fear and conquered it.

Jackie

 

My take on the month of Sexuary

I was gone at the end of the month so I could not put my two cents in on the month of Sexuary.  Boy what a month! I say that as I wipe the sweat off my brow and the cum from my pussy. LOL It was a crazy, fun, filled, eye opening of a month.

Dane and I had been planning this for months.  I think he sent me the first list in November, where I had a hard time even looking at the dang thing.  It had a lot, and I mean A LOT of things that were on my hard limits area.  I was asked to begin to mark off what I knew there was no way I could do it.  I will admit, I crossed off the whole list....So I put it away.  He tried hard to get me to talk about it, I would just shut down, There was NO talking about it.  Fast forward to January, I had been praying the prayer "Let me be willing to be willing" so I reopened the list and began to go through it again. The second time still had a bunch crossed off, and so I did it again.  I finally narrowed it down.  I sent it on to him to make the calender. 

Now February starts, we start the month and it starts great.  Sure we have some that don't I don't mind at all, some I have no clue about, and some that I know are my hard limits! 

This month was about discovery, to find a way to spice up our lives, in all ways.  To find new ways to get excited and to please each other and ourselves. 

That is EXACTLY what this month did.  I found some things that were very exciting, things I want to do over and over and over again! I have found somethings that I thought were at my hard limits that low and behold I really want to do again, and I have found stuff that I did not know were a hard limit to be a limit.  

All in All this month was exactly what we needed and what we wanted.  We wanted to spice it up, and we were going for an all time record! We had never gone more than 6 days, ever! And we made it 28 days! 28 days...wow...I know some don't understand or some that think we are crazy trying to beat someone Else's record, but dang it they had 31 but we were really really close...and we surprised our self with the breaking of our own records! And you know what....I really loved this Sexuary, it was not mundane, it was not a month that I did begrudgingly, its a month I knew what was going to happen and when and tried to have an opened mind about it all. 

I cant wait until June, when I am going to get my nipples pierced because of what I learned this month. I have learned I really like to be in charge without being the "master" and I love spanking Dane until his ass is nice and red...I have learned a lot about myself and about Dane.  That is what this month was to be about.

What did you learn with your spouse this month? Are you willing to go outside the norm, or your box? Did you find some limits have changed? Did you talk about this...that..or other things....Did you get your goal met? I would love to hear from you! 

Jackie

Whipping, Spanking, Mild Pain, etc

I want to spank your ass till it's red while you lay across my lap.  Using the whips, my hand, etc, then when it's hot and red I want to fuck you good and hard doggie style and/or at the end of the bed.

It just didn't worked for us. Ok, I got to spank Jackies bottom with my hand, but there was no reaction.  No satisfaction.  No ...I don't know.  I was excited with the site of her red butt laying across my lap, but ...

Jackie didn't react to any of it except when I used the paddle for one stroke and she said that was beyond her limits.  I couldn't judge what was going on, I couldn't read her mind, I couldn't see a reaction.  So I stopped and went to plan B.  It was safe and easy.

Jackie later told me it was totally different in the height of passion to be spanked then it was today.  She enjoys her rear spanked when we're going at it, but this was different.

This Sexuary has been a month of ups and downs.  We've done things we've never tried, and this was one of them.  We learn not all of our passions lay together, and that's ok.  And there maybe times (like this month has been) that we give to the other the gift of trying something out.  Opening ourselves up to new experiences so that our partner can have theirs.  It's part of being in a relationship. I would say though that this will probably go along the way of the foot fetish, not to be broken out very often if ever again.

Dane

There is a fine line between pain and pleasure.  We have really been working on some new things to liven up our sex lives.  We have tried new things, pushing our hard limits.  Today was one of those.  I already knew this was a hard limit for me.  I had told him up front.  

So I bent over his lap and let him spank me.  It was not exciting for me, it just did not do anything. I had no reaction, no grunts, no squirm, looking back I am not sure I knew what I was supposed to do.  This was so out of my box, but I had no clue.  What is the correct response??This is twice now that we have done something so out of my box that I don't know what I should do or how to do it....Dane always thinks I am heading into my dark place, my place where I went to during the years of abuse I suffered at the hand of a babysitter, and an ex that was very verbally abusive. I have only gone there once the whole month and that was our couples weekend, but I didn't stay long.(which is a HUGE improvement) 

I also told him that is was not the same thing as it is when we are in the heat of passion. That is a HUGE turn on for me, so it really this was a huge surprise that I did not enjoy it.  I told him that I really had not gone to my dark place at all.  So I highly doubt I will be laying over him and letting him spank me but there will be sometimes that I ask for him to while we are in the heat of the moment.  

WE are almost half way through our month, we have pushed limits, and moved in directions I did not know was possible.  We are growing closer and our communication between the two of us seems to be better. We still have our struggles but all in all so far so good.

Jackie

Anal, Dildos, Fisting (Day 2)

Ok, I know this is a repeat, but i think it will take a few times this month to stretch my ass to fist.  Once we've acchieved it we might change a couple of the future ones. I know we've done this before, but it's definitely one of my favorites.  You strap on a dildo and fuck my ass hard.  If you'd like you could add a firm and solid beating of my ass with a paddle or crop or what ever you decide it would be a good day for it.

While you're on my backside I'd like you to vary it some, push me as much as you can in what ever you decide to do that day, here's a couple of ideas:
   1) The hot oils on my genitals
   2) Spank my ass, I'm talking really spank it. If you'd like to use a paddle or something like that please do. I'm even ok if you want to use the whip or something on my back. A whelp or 2 (or 10) is ok for this month.
   3) You can use clothes pins on my sack, or penis, or where ever you'd like
   4) One of the days you might cuff me(I have a pair of handcuffs, I just need to make sure I have the key)
   5) Each day you can decide if you want to tie me down, gag me, blindfold me, etc. or just bend me over.
   6) I know we'd have to move bring stuff downstairs, but it might actually be easier for you to bend me over the sofa arm and attacking me.At least once or 2x *hint hint*

So today was day 2 of the anal/fisting on me.  Jackie added a vibrating egg underneath her strap on so that she would get some good vibs too.  I never expected that I would feel those vibrations as well as I did too. I'll be modifying her her strap on with a pocket so she can add her egg when we play in the future.  .  

She tried some new positions for her that sent me over the top quickly.  Amazing what a good prostate massage will do for a guy.  It didn't take me long to scream that I was there and was definitely well satisfied with the session.

Unfortunately I've found no matter how much lube we use, and we apply it very liberally, the motion will eventually get to me more than the trying to stretch me will.  So it's easier to try to fist me first then have her use her strap on on me then it is to go the other way around.  Now the burn goes away quickly (within an hour) and honestly it feels amazing as it 'calms down' so I don't mind, but we weren't able to try fisting today. 
.
Oh, and did I mention that she took me up on #2?  First she spanked me with her hand, then a ping pong paddle we bought for the occasion.  OH MY!  She would swat my bottom then kiss where she spanked.  It was the truest sense of pleasure and pain.  The fine line between Ouch that !@#$$%  hurts and OUCH that feels !@#$% fantastic.  She said my bottom was nice and red before she bent me over and had her way with me.  I just know it was hot. Giving her control like that was great!

We tried several new things this afternoon and we both enjoyed it. On the excitement scale it ranked right up there off the chart. It was new.  It was different.  It was mutually enjoyable.  That's just a small benefit to what this Sexuary is all about for Jackie and I.  Are you doing something to help you make a change in your relationship?  We're 1/3rd of the way done with Sexuary, don't wait do something today!

Dane

Man what a day...it just seemed to go on and on and on.  I really thought we might not get to play today.  I have been battling a headache for 2 days.  I have managed to push through them and while I get some relief for an hour or so they do come back with a vengence. 
I normally I tell Dane, to be ready when I get home from work, and be ass up waiting for me.  Today, I told him to get ready but he did not have to be ass up.  I swear I was waiting forever but in reality it was only a few minutes.  I was anxious, even though he thought I was not "into it" I really was, I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to do while waiting.  He usually has stuff all set out that he wants to me use, or hints on what he wants to do to him.  I really was like a fish out of the water.  I floundered around, going through our toy drawer, looking and shuffling around trying to "feel the right thing".  I took out some things and put them on the side table, went and strapped on my dildo, got some new batteries for a new egg I had just gotten.  
I just had this urge to come up behind him and play with him with him on his side.  He had a nice butt plug in and man was it hot! There is NOTHING that beats giving him a nice ass fuck...I decided to just try some new things, I spanked him with my hand and then asked him if he would like me to use the paddle.  OMG it was awesome, as I spanked him and he would shiver with pleasure, I would get a good whack then bend down kiss and caress and bite where I just spanked...It sent me OVER the edge...OH my...I know he wanted me to try and get that fist in him but damn I just really really did I say really wanted to ram that ass! And boy did I! Between my egg and my orgasm it was a night I would not forget.  My body hasn't let me forget either, I have sore muscles that I had no idea I had that reminded me all day long the great play session we had yesterday.
Jackie