Sexuary 2024 - DOM/sub Part 2

 

Please read Long Term DOM/sub Play - Prep and Day 1 first

Monday morning Jackie came out and started the day with my 5 minutes, kneeling in front of me. I have to admit, I could live my life starting every day with a 5 minute blowjob.  

Of course work got into the way, but during the day I would go into her office and rub her ass.  Now I have to say, Jackie doesn't wear hose very often, and I don't really ever suggest anything for her to wear, other then when I purchase stuff for her.  And over the years, I've purchased dozens of pairs of fishnet stockings and other hose, that for the most part sit in her dresser.  But her ass looks fantastic in those hose and stockings!!! And I truly enjoyed just rubbing her ass in them. 

After work, and her free time, I blindfolded Jackie and put her up on the St Andrew's Cross, with her back to the cross.  I ran the wartenberg wheel, over her chest, and then I went and started with the UV Candles from PanHaven.  I started dropping the hot wax over her chest, belly and legs.

Normally I use wax on Jackie on the bed, and wasn't thinking about it actually being different this way.  The wax will drip more, it's definitely less predictable as to where it's going, but she actually enjoyed it more. 

After the pain, I bent her over the bed and once we were finished, we jumped into the shower together. 

We ended the night up in the hot tub. 

Now one of the things we've done this week, is we've showered together every night.  Between the playing together, lubricants, and just over all hygiene, and while hygiene is always utmost important, if you ever do something like this, I recommend you add this to your routine.  One showers can be fun together, two, they keep you fresh.  We've taken up to 3 showers together in a day this week. 

Day 3 started out with Jackie sneaking out of bed before me, and waking me up with my cock in her mouth.  What a way to start the day!!! 

I have to admit, the outfit I picked for Jackie wasn't my favorite for the week.  It was to large, and while I liked the patterns on her skin, it wasn't at all form fitting, and just not as flattering on her as the others I'd picked. She still looked hot, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't pick that outfit again. 

Again, throughout the day either I would go into her office and rub on her ass, or if she came out of the office I would take advantage and rub on her. I had her come in after lunch and put in a set of Ben Wa balls into her.  I'd see these that were on a TV show that were rubber and chained together, and easier to get out than our normal Ben Wa balls. I got them from Wish (Kegal Ball Kit from Wish)

I again put Jackie on the cross and flogged her severely.  One of the things I liked was the blue light in the room, showed where the flogger would strike on her skin. After 20 or so minutes I bent her over the bed and put a small butt plug into her ass and then fucked her with the Ben Wa balls still in her.  I eventually pulled them out and finished after several "Thank you, Sir" came from her mouth and she was well satisfied.  I rolled her onto the bed and finished up, both of us very satisfied.

Since I mentioned it, I had added the "Thank you sir" into the rules for the week.  OK, Jackie's vagina is very active.  It will squeeze you out, it will squirt all over you, and you can tell how Jackie is doing during sex by her reactions.  With all that said, I wanted to hear the words, "Thank you, Sir" after every orgasm this week.  Now Jackie at times, has dripped those words, making it sexy as hell, but just overall, I have appreciated hearing these words.  I've always been conscious about making sure Jackie always has hers first and more often than me, hearing those words have been very endearing to me. 

Afterwards, we laid in bed for a bit, then I had Jackie go start the shower for us. 

The next day was Valentine's Day. I had picked out a set of red lingerie.  When I originally set it out, I had put another set of cloths by accident with it (honestly I didn't realize I had done it,) and the night before when Jackie was looking at them I told her to wear the lingerie, and not the other set, and she did put it on at first, but later she came out in the other set.  She really liked it, and I didn't say anything at the time, but that was definitely grounds for a punishment later. 

On her desk was a dozen chocolate dipped strawberries, and on Monday I had picked up 2 dozen roses for her, that were in a vase behind her desk. I had run out for work, and wasn't around for my morning blowjob. Jackie rectified that after I got home and she got a break. 

At lunchtime I took Jackie out for a steak lunch.  There was no underwear on, and her dress was semi revealing without being over revealing.  

Right after Jackie's free time I pulled her into the bedroom and got her all excited.  I then went for her ass.  This is something that Jackie has gotten more and more accepting on, and since some of her medical issues have been taken care of, she doesn't have as much after issues with.  I love it, and don't push for it very often, but tonight I asserted my dominance with sliding into her ass.  Jackie went crazy (in a good way) and I got to hear, "Thank you sir," over and over again as she reached orgasm after orgasm. What a great Valentine's gift, blowjob, pussy, and ass all in the same day.

We rested a bit, and I sent Jackie to start the shower.  

Afterwards, I had her put her dress back on, and off we went to Hump Day Comedy at Rozco's Comedy Club.  They took stories from the audience and read them about bad dates.  Jackie put in a card saying, "When you've been married as long as we have, you have to do things to keep your relationship fresh, so we blog about our sex life on oursexuary.com (and yes, it's a real website).  They read out card, and asked who the card belonged to, from the front row we raised our hand.  The comic was blown away it was us.  "How old are you?" he asked, and when we told them our ages (almost 60 and 50), "You robbed the craddle I see," we all laughed as I nodded yes.  "So do you have a sex swing?" Of course we do.  He asked about a couple of other things and then I really shocked him when I mentioned I was co-owner of Texas Kink Fest.  Later, another comedian looked over after us after making the comment, "She was in handcuffs, Dane, you know about those don't you?" 

At the end of the show, the first comedian came back out and asked if we also were swingers, when we said yes, he asked if we'd ever had a bad experience.  We let him know we definitely had, and explained to him why (See Swingers Club / Couple Swap).

We got home late and went straight to bed. 

So a couple of takes, first I really love Jackie when she takes the time to get sexy for me. Second, I love hearing "Thank you, Sir" after orgasms.  Even with dominance, humor is important. 

Dane

Sexuary 2024 - Primal Playhouse

I don't ask this often, but if you're going to read this particular article, please read it to the end.  Things change, things that appear negative at the time turn positive, so please read everything and learn the lessons we learned, though not the lessons we went for. 

I am now part owner in Texas Kink Fest.  This is a long weekend of kink centrist classes, demonstrations, and performances.  It's a great place to learn more about the things you already like and enjoy, to find new things you might like, and to watch some incredible performers. It's also great to be in a group of like minded individuals that are nonjudgmental. As part of our desire to expand horizons, we wanted to find some Tantra instructors, something we lacked in years past, but felt like it would be well accepted.  In doing so I found Monique Darling, and her Every Day Tantra. After looking at a couple of events she had listed in our area (she travels all around the world, so catch her when you can), and got our tickets.

We were excited as we got there, not knowing what we were getting into. Not know how long it would take us to get to the location, and we arrived about 30 minutes early.  We went in and were able to assist the in setting up some.  We didn't know anyone there, so was a bit odd at first, as we would be at any event of this nature the first time. Everyone was extremely friendly and definitely did their best to welcome us.
Now is where I have to tell you about my follies.  First I had been talking to Monique about Tantra, and was thinking that this house party was Tantra centrist.   As you might have notices by the title, this was a Primal party.  Now we had heard of Primal.  One of our ropers we use to learn from was into Primal, and he had explained a few things about it, but while we were expecting "ohhhhh" and "ahhhhh" we were not expecting growling and howling.  It took us both a bit by surprise when we realized my mistake pretty quickly.  As we got into an opening circle it became quickly apparent this was not what we were expecting. (Side note: Primal is a whole section of kink, that definitely we will look more into)

I attempted to buy into it some, trying to get into the place of where they were at, as odd as it seemed to me, having never been exposed to anything Primal before, but was starting to get into it a bit, but it set Jackie off.   Jackie went into a dark place pretty quickly.  The more I tried to get into it, the more I was pulled out of it with my concern for Jackie.  About 15 minutes into it I took Jackie outside for a bit to calm her down.  I was ready to leave if she was, and all would be good.  She assured me she wanted to stay, so we went back in and joined the group again to finish up the opening circle.  

That didn't last long and before long we were back outside and I was trying to calm Jackie back down.  Finally I made the decision she wouldn't and decided we were leaving.  While sitting there trying to calm Jackie down, I realized more of my follies.  First Jackie was in a very bad place with her job.  She felt her work had screwed her, and wanted out.  She hadn't found a replacement yet, so was living with a major pay cut and a demotion she didn't want because the previous project she was on had closed and there were no openings at her current pay/position within the company.  It was a daily struggle for her to even make to the office in the house to work for her, to say she was hating work was an understatement. Second was because of medical issues, they were changing her depression medications.  She was in week one of the change, and if anyone has ever gone through that, you know the first 2 - 3 weeks are difficult until things level out.  Your mental state can swing fast and furious, and tonight Jackie's was.

Had I used my big head, I would of foreseen that all these issues, along with it being totally new (Primal or Tantra) would overload Jackie and not made it a great experience.  I didn't, and truly regret I exposed Jackie to a bad experience because of my not considering where we were in life at that moment.  

Now comes the good part.  Jackie actually came home and worked through a lot of her issues with the Primal event, and through all that she has come up with a way to bring a part of that home for the 2 of us to share.  She's asked me to not share details with you at this point, but let's just say that yesterday's manifestation of her idea, was fantastic and we had a great time with it.  

Second, we WILL attend another event with Monique and her Every Day Tantra, and actually if we didn't have the 1st weekend in March already taken up, we'd be there for her weekend, The Lovers Essential Toolbox.  I'm hoping she brings it back later this year. 

Third, while at the moment, it seemed like a bad thing, out of that came a very beautiful thing.  Sometime in relationships we have to go through bad spots to come out shining.  Don't ever be afraid to go through those spots, as uncomfortable as they are at the time, they are 10 fold better in the end.   Letting them fester instead just eats at your relationship. 

So my overall take? Be mindful when you are trying new things as to where everyone is mentally.  Don't think just because it seems bad at the time, it really is.  Work through what went wrong when you can, and try it again if you want.  

Part of OurSexuary has been to show the good, the bad, and the ugly of things.  In our search for something better we hit all of them in one night. but notice we are ready to try again, and in the end it was beautiful.

Dane

Sexuary 2023 - Texas Kink Fest

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Sexuary 2021 - Rope Play

So rope is something that Jackie and I got into during Texas Kink Fest 2018.  We've since found groups like Austin Rope Slingers and websites like Crash Restraint that have kept us going since then.  For Christmas this year I even got a mannequin so I can rope without Jackie (though it's definitely not the same as roping a real person).  

Today I drew that we were to play with rope.  Nothing specific, just rope.  So I decided to put a small harness on Jackie and then tying her legs up and her hands to her legs.  So I put a new harness on Jackie, one we hadn't done before, but I had seen.  It didn't tie her arms up at all, but did secure her breast. I do this often, I look at Shibari pictures, and ones I think I'm capable of doing, or capable of figuring out how to do it, then I save them into a folder for later scrutiny.  I enjoy figuring out how the ropes lay and what knots go where.  I've actually figured out some pretty complicated knots over time.  

I recently wrote the following for a magazine to describe roping, I hope you'll appreciate roping a bit more: 

When I rope with Jackie, my world narrows to this little space we’re in. Her breath, her heartbeat, her littlest twitch, or nod of her head are all caught by my senses. Getting her to ‘her place’ is my goal every time. That place subs go when they let the ropes hold them tight, secure, and they know they are in the safest place on earth, and all they must do is be in the moment. The joy is knowing I’ve met those needs, kept her safe and brought her back.  The world around us doesn’t exist for that short time. People can come and go, but I only hear her breath, I only see her body as she melts into my ropes. It’s a huge lift to my soul to know I’ve taken her to the most peaceful place on earth…and that she trust me enough to do that.  -Dane/56/4 years roping

Then the after math is just as important for me.  When I self rope I love the feeling of rope on my body, but the rope marks it leaves when I'm done is sometimes even better.  That bite that reminds you for hours is some of the best parts. You rub your leg or sides and can just float back into that zone. It's an awesome feeling. 

We hope our blog has given you some ideas of what to bring into your bedroom and make a change to your sex life. We do this blog so people know it's ok to WANT to do other things in the bedroom then what you're doing, and lastly we want you to know how to do some of this safely, or how to go about learning about what you want to learn about. If you have an idea for us email us or send us a comment. 

Dane

Resources for Jute rope, it's what I use to tie Jackie, myself, and my mannequin with and I love these 2 vendors:

MyNawashi  - https://www.etsy.com/listing/250064748/pink-shibari-rope-bondage-kit?ref=related-4

Rope Bound Kitten - https://ropeboundkitten.net/

 

Sexuary 2020 - A Paincentric Month

Now that we're in 2020, and Sexuary is fast approaching, Jackie and I have had the opportunity to discuss and decide on what we wanted to do this year that would be different.  For those of you new to Sexuary, it was brought to us from Christine Moers and her blog Welcome to My Brain. Her challenge was to do something different sexually with your partner during the month of February, hence Sexuary.  To some, that means having being intimate for the first time in forever.  For some, that meant pushing your boundaries.  So Jackie and I have done variations of Sexuary over the years, from sex every other day ....which led to the year of sex every day for a month, to trying out different kinks, now that's where our lives changed.

So we've tried, and keep trying different kinks that allow us to grow sexually. Things we never would of thought we'd like, we do! Things we weren't ready for mentally (and let's face it sex is every bit as much sexual as it is physical) we are now.

So in our discussions, Jackie mentioned she would like to try a month centered around pain.  For those of you who don't know, pain and pleasure are close cousins.  The endorphins release in both are the same.  Your body can reach to pain all the way to an orgasm if you're very present and learn to use those endorphins. You can fly high on pain like nothing else. So this year we are going to be focusing on pain, and different ways to introduce it to the body.

The other thing we decided is that while there will be a calendar, only I will know what's on that for 25 of the 29 days, and Jackie will know what's on the other 4 without my knowledge.  There is no chance to over thing the pain coming for that day.  It will just happen in it's own time. On Mondays Jackie is in charge of the pain, and I will switch and be the bottom.  1) I enjoy giving up control sometimes, 2) I think every top should have the experience of being a bottom to see what they are doing, it helps when boundaries are getting close to know why those are there. Additionally we've added that every 4th day Jackies vagina will get a break.  Now, not to say there won't be any activities, but unless she just begs for it, those 4th days will have to find other ways to orgasm, ahhh the challenges.

So my challenge was set before me and I have created my 2020 calendar.  Of course we'll be blogging as we go, but unlike in the past we won't post a calendar of what's to come. 

And while obviously things like flogging, which we've already blogged about, will be in the mix, I have at least 10 different elements that we have not done before. Now some of these we've watched. Some we've taken classes on, either through Texas Kink Fest, or various organizations we've attended events with over the last several years.I will let out, since Jackie already knows, that we will be playing with needles some. We've found the art to be beautiful, and Jackie was very interested. So we've taken a class, I've ordered the material needed and we're going to try it.  Now for the record, we are using very small gauge needles, and at least at this time Jackie isn't desiring hooks or other large gauges.....at least for now. Pain as pleasure, all rolled into one.

Hopefully Jackie will put her two cents in as to her experiences as we try new things. We like to give both perspectives when we can. It's interesting when you see it from the others vantage point sometimes.

So there you have it. Most of the packages have arrived, my calendar is penciled in (always able to erase and change things around), and now we wait til January 30th.  This year due to other plans we're going to go from 1/30 - 2/27, with the 27th being a huge surprise for Jackie, oh I can't wait. We hope you'll join us on our journey and comment or question as we go along. If you're joining in on Sexuary, let us know! We love to know others are joining in, pushing their limits sexually, going where they don't generally go.  And we'll share some specifics on where we've learned some of these things as we go so if you want to try them you know where to get started...so now we wait...oh the hardest part. 

Dane