Now that we're in 2020, and Sexuary is fast approaching, Jackie and I have had the opportunity to discuss and decide on what we wanted to do this year that would be different. For those of you new to Sexuary, it was brought to us from Christine Moers and her blog Welcome to My Brain. Her challenge was to do something different sexually with your partner during the month of February, hence Sexuary. To some, that means having being intimate for the first time in forever. For some, that meant pushing your boundaries. So Jackie and I have done variations of Sexuary over the years, from sex every other day ....which led to the year of sex every day for a month, to trying out different kinks, now that's where our lives changed.
So we've tried, and keep trying different kinks that allow us to grow sexually. Things we never would of thought we'd like, we do! Things we weren't ready for mentally (and let's face it sex is every bit as much sexual as it is physical) we are now.
So in our discussions, Jackie mentioned she would like to try a month centered around pain. For those of you who don't know, pain and pleasure are close cousins. The endorphins release in both are the same. Your body can reach to pain all the way to an orgasm if you're very present and learn to use those endorphins. You can fly high on pain like nothing else. So this year we are going to be focusing on pain, and different ways to introduce it to the body.
The other thing we decided is that while there will be a calendar, only I will know what's on that for 25 of the 29 days, and Jackie will know what's on the other 4 without my knowledge. There is no chance to over thing the pain coming for that day. It will just happen in it's own time. On Mondays Jackie is in charge of the pain, and I will switch and be the bottom. 1) I enjoy giving up control sometimes, 2) I think every top should have the experience of being a bottom to see what they are doing, it helps when boundaries are getting close to know why those are there. Additionally we've added that every 4th day Jackies vagina will get a break. Now, not to say there won't be any activities, but unless she just begs for it, those 4th days will have to find other ways to orgasm, ahhh the challenges.
So my challenge was set before me and I have created my 2020 calendar. Of course we'll be blogging as we go, but unlike in the past we won't post a calendar of what's to come.
And while obviously things like flogging, which we've already blogged about, will be in the mix, I have at least 10 different elements that we have not done before. Now some of these we've watched. Some we've taken classes on, either through Texas Kink Fest, or various organizations we've attended events with over the last several years.I will let out, since Jackie already knows, that we will be playing with needles some. We've found the art to be beautiful, and Jackie was very interested. So we've taken a class, I've ordered the material needed and we're going to try it. Now for the record, we are using very small gauge needles, and at least at this time Jackie isn't desiring hooks or other large gauges.....at least for now. Pain as pleasure, all rolled into one.
Hopefully Jackie will put her two cents in as to her experiences as we try new things. We like to give both perspectives when we can. It's interesting when you see it from the others vantage point sometimes.
So there you have it. Most of the packages have arrived, my calendar is penciled in (always able to erase and change things around), and now we wait til January 30th. This year due to other plans we're going to go from 1/30 - 2/27, with the 27th being a huge surprise for Jackie, oh I can't wait. We hope you'll join us on our journey and comment or question as we go along. If you're joining in on Sexuary, let us know! We love to know others are joining in, pushing their limits sexually, going where they don't generally go. And we'll share some specifics on where we've learned some of these things as we go so if you want to try them you know where to get started...so now we wait...oh the hardest part.
Dane
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