Sexuary 2021 - The Spanking Bench

Ok, I'm not going to lie, the idea of someone on my spanking bench, open and available for my inflicting pain is oddly intoxicating. It will make my dick hard as a rock just thinking about it, so you can imagine my day knowing that this was in my near future...the anticipation was near impossible. 

"It's a very paincentric evening" I warned Jackie.  It's only fair to give her a heads up with all I had in mind.

First we had made out a bit in the living room, just enough to get Jackie her first orgasm, and in a very good place to start.  Let's face it pain is a 2 edge sword, not enough or to much pain becomes just pain, but that right amount of pain become pure pleasure.  Being warmed up prior only makes it easier to make the pain go the right direction...gives you a bigger zone to hit. When we walked into the room I let her know that the school paddles were still in the drawer and would not be used tonight.  I knew this would put her mind at ease some that the 1 thing that can take her to a bad place quickly was not going to be used tonight. 

I placed Jackie on the spanking bench and started with some stroking her back with my finger nails.  It brings the blood to the surface and makes it better for that what is coming.  I check her, and she's very wet already, and I can quickly bring her to another orgasm.  Then I really started.  

First a couple of swats with a riding crop, then I took one of the 2 new floggers we inherited and laid into her a couple of good times.  This one is wider straps, heavier, and definitely a thudder. It's not much of a stinger but is a good warm up.  

Then I broke out one of the whipping cane.  Three swats on the right cheek that definitely left 3 nice whelps.  They are beautiful raised on Jackies ass cheeks. 

Again I check Jackie out, while thrusting I swatted her left ass cheek good and hard.  She jumped as my hand left it's print in her lovely skin.  She came hard and I moved on. 

The next flogger is The Grand Emperor from Flogmebaby.com. It's long tines give a great stinging swat with it's 32" straps.  Her back started to show signs of the abuse it was receiving.... lines raised in her back and when I ran my fingers over her now she definitely arched her back.  

Now her left cheek received the swatting of the 3 swats of cane.  Oh the delicious whelps that started to raise were beautiful.  She was so wet as I slid back into her and brought her to another orgasm.  They are almost coming easier now.  I took the handle to the Grand Emperor and slid it in Jackie and brought her off once more.  

Her right cheek received the smack of my hand, leaving a beautifully raised hand print.   

With both ass cheeks with hand prints, and both with 3 marks each from the cane I brought out the 1 thing Jackie had asked me to try this month, the new yellow flogger we inherited.  One strike of that and it was a quick 'no'.  Later she said it felt like a baseball bat hitting her, and it left 4 square marks on her back where they hit, and honestly I was barely swinging.  I can't imagine if I had gone even 60-70%.  

We moved to the bed and with all the excitement I quickly finished up.  I lost count of the number of orgasms Jackie had in the process. Her pain/pleasure sensors were on overdrive tonight.

Now when we were done I made sure to put some lotions on the marks.  Remember when you do something as traumatic as this scene can be, you need to make sure there is some aftercare.  

If you're interested in the spanking benches, floggers, caning, or any other paincentric activity, please feel free to reach out to Jackie or I for more information. 

Dane

 

Sexuary 2021 - A New Plan

 

Sometimes when you do such a great job, when you go back you're like "what the hell are we going to do to beat last year?" Well that's where Jackie and I have been over the last couple of the months while we're trying to decide what to do for Sexuary 2021.  To remind you Sexuary 2020 was a 'paincentric' month at Jackies suggestion.  We went all out to provide "pain for pleasure" in many different ways.  To say it was a successful Sexuary for us would be an understatement.  It was fantastic and we learned a lot about how pain and pleasure could be 2 sides of the very same coin.  Jackie pushed her limits and found sexual pleasures she never knew existed.  So where do you go from there? How do you beat a month that was almost 100% 'perfect' sexually?  Well we finally decided we were going to revisit, review and add some randomness to Sexuary 2021.  

So the each of us came up with 10 or more things we really wanted where Jackie was the recipient, and 4 or more for Jackie to do to me (Dane).  In all there were 36 items on my list for Jackie, and I passed on 10 things to Jackie, plus what ever she added to the list for me. We printed off those list and cut them into strips.  I filled a mason jar and Jackie put her pulls in a margarita glass (for anyone who knows Jackie, you know that's very appropriate 😁.)  The night before we'll pull 1 and that's the next days adventure.  We both added a couple of new things to each list, but left a list of 'favorites'..  Now it's up to the gods of randomness to decide what fun we have during this Sexuary.

I've added a few of the adventures on the roulette wheel above, and have linked it so you can try it. I'll update that wheel weekly with additional things we've done if you'd like to just spin the wheel and try something new.  I believe everything above you'll find in our blog on how to do.  

So as a reminder, Sexuary was started for us by our friend Christine and over the last 10 years we've grown so much sexually which has also brought us closer in our relationship.  Our communication skills have expanded, our knowledge of ourselves and each other has grown, and overall we are much closer because of Sexuary. We came across Sexuary in a low point in our relationship, and while it's not the only reason we are where we are today, it is a major factor. 

So for the new people, what is Sexuary?  Sexuary is where during the month of February you do something that's outside of your normal sexual box.  For some that would be to have a date and maybe make out with your partner.  For some it's to try that thing you've talked about but never dared, maybe you don't know how to do it...so for Sexuary you research, and follow through.  We've done everything from sex every 3 days....took us 2 attempts to have sex every other day....then we went and did 28 days of sex...and now we do some hybrid ...we don't have intercourse every day, but we do something sexual everyday.  You can NOT judge yourself by anyone else, you have to look at your sex life and decide what is Sexuary for you and your partner.  

So there you go...Sexuary 2021 kicks off in just a few hours...you still have time to do something, even if it's just hit that wheel above and try something new. 

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Needle Play

One of the things Jackie had expressed an interest in was needle play.  We've seen it several times at events we've gone to and it intrigued us. We've actually been to classes on this taught at Kink Fest by Guru Sean. We've also seen his extreme works where he goes all the way up to hooks.

So class taken, and supplies ordered.  I've pulled out a couple of each needle size and tried them on my leg just to practice a bit and to know a bit what it feels like and practice a bit of technique. I really believe anyone who would do something like needle play should know what they are inflicting on anyone they are applying it to.

Even though Jackie wants this she's a bit nervous the day of.  I try to keep her calm and we get her on the massage table.  We're going to work on her upper back today. I've let her pick the spot, though I tell her we'll want to try other spots. I wipe the spot down and make sure it's clean and sterile, gloves on, the box with needles ready and here we go.

I've got an idea, I want to make a heart on her back, but not sure how it's going to work, but like all of Sexuary I'll be flexible if I run into problems. Of course I start with the smallest needles we have.  I put in a few of them. I have to admit Jackies reaction isn't exactly what I expected.  She's having to breath through each stick.  My inexperience has a couple of the needles going further under the skin then others. This is not what I'm wanting for a 1st time try. 

The heart, well let's just say the attempt at a heart, quickly disappears. I can't create the curves needed to make the heart. I'm sure it's doable but it's not happening today, by me. Plan B, be creative and make it look ok. So I create a symmetrical pattern (my logical mind at work). I use every size needle we have.  She definitely feels the larger ones, but honestly not as much as I was afraid she would. 

Twenty-one needles later we were finished. I felt that was a great place to stop. I'd of loved to try a couple of other spots, but sometimes knowing when to stop is the most important part of any kind of play.

Now I think Jackie thought I was going to let her off easy, but this is Sexuary 2020, the pancentric month of sex.  I hadn't seen any orgasms happen yet. So I grabbed the magic wand and while Jackie was still on the table I applied it to ...well you get the idea.  It didn't take long before a mind blowing orgasm hit.  The pain of the needles turning to pure pleasure as her body blew it's orgasmic gasket.

While removal of the needles can have some pain, they honestly don't hurt much pulling them out (I know from experience even).  Needles all put into the collection box, the alcohol rubs definitely burn a bit as I clean up a little of the mess. I put meat packing over the area (the absorbent pads that are on the bottom of the meat packaging work great for this, thank you Guru Sean),  and we go to relax. For the rest of the night Jackie definitely knows she's been needled, but it's not unbearable, and at times, it's just a gentle reminder of the great afternoon we've had together.

If you're interested in needle play I suggest you find someone who is in it, ask LOTS of questions, try it on a thigh or something on yourself to see what you're getting into. Read what you can. I think I've spent about $30 in total for 250 needles of varying size, and all the gloves, etc.  I took an old coffee can and made it into my needle collection (sealed the top, cut a slit in for hte needles and marked it as hazardous).  So it's an inexpensive 'kink' to try out.

Sexuary is in full fling now...do you have any plans? Are you going to do something different for Sexuary 2020 this year? You still have time, go for it!

Dane

Needle play, well I asked for it.  I have actually been asking for it for a while but we just never have done it.  So that was certainly one that would be on the calendar this year.

I had told Dane that I was nervous. I wasn't sure what I was to feel or how to feel but I can tell you that it wasn't anything I have felt before.  

I have gotten tattoos before and this can't even compare.  From the very littlest needle to the biggest one I had to breath through each and everyone.  It was painful but not painful enough to stop.  Once all the needles were in, it actually didn't hurt as bad.  I didn't get up and walk around but I did move my arm around to see what it felt like.  I could feel them but it was not terrible.  It did not make me cum while he was placing needles, it still  was exciting.  It really didn't take long when Dane got out the the wand to make me come.

The after effects felt like I had a slight sunburn and maybe a little heat like you get when you have a shot or tattoo.  

We will defiantly be looking at this again.  Once is truly not a real experience.   
Jackie 

Sexuary 2020 - Flogging

This is not a new subject for us. Flogging is something Jackie and I have enjoyed it for a couple of years.  Last year we blogged here about flogging.  Since then we've added several more floggers to our arsenal and have continued to enjoy them. 

Normally pain is not the point of our flogging, but when paincentric is the plan for the month, well you flog a bit harder.  Now we did some sensation work prior to flogging, and when I started I warmed Jackie up with 100 or so lashes as a low level.  Afterwards I started adding a bit more swing to it, until we were at a good swing and the lashes were leaving red marks down Jackies back and ass.  She was moaning and groaning with each stroke, and when she got to a point let me know she was at 'yellow'.  I didn't stop, but I was much more particular about my strokes.

When we were done I had to lay Jackie down on the massage table.  Her eyes were rolled and she was shaking.  After some water and chocolate and about 30 minutes she was back to reality.  I put lotion on her back and while she felt the effects of for the rest of the night, in the morning she was fine and no marks were left.

Now in the meantime there was literally a puddle of cum under Jackie where she had orgasmed.She's came over and over again while we were flogging.  The pain turned to pure pleasure. The fine line between pleasure and pain and pain as pleasure is remarkable.  The endorphins created on either one are the same endorphins and Jackies' experienced it yesterday while I flogged her. 

On a side note, we have a friend we introduced to flogging.  When she first started she was scared and was very hesitant.  Once she experienced it, by someone who knew her and cared, and wasn't just an asshole trying to beat her, she realized how extremely exciting it can be. She LOVES flogging now.  You MUST trust the flogger (DOM) to know you and know your limits. You must not play with a wanna-be DOM who just wants to beat someone.  It's imperative that you protect yourself with knowledge so you don't get hurt. But don't be afraid of flogging, it's a great tool in reaching new heights.

Again, we don't get any money from them, but www.flogmebaby.com has always treated us fantastic and has a great product for a great price.

Dane

Flogging....what can I say I love flogging. There is no way to describe the feeling that happens as your body crosses over the pain/pleasure threshold. I could feel my eyes roll back in my head, my breathing changing as I slipped into sub space.  Due to going back and forth into subspace, I can only tell you that I really enjoyed this flogging session, yes it was much harder than we have ever done but the feeling of release I had and have had thru all of this is more than I can describe. 

 I remember a big puddle under me when Dane had to lead me back to the table to rest.  I know I drank so water, some chocolate to help with my lightheaded head rush. Then I remember going to sleep for about an hour. 

I was able to get into subspace because I totally trust Dane.  He is my dom and knows exactly how much to push me and what to do for aftercare.
Jackie
 

Sexuary 2020 - A Paincentric Month

Now that we're in 2020, and Sexuary is fast approaching, Jackie and I have had the opportunity to discuss and decide on what we wanted to do this year that would be different.  For those of you new to Sexuary, it was brought to us from Christine Moers and her blog Welcome to My Brain. Her challenge was to do something different sexually with your partner during the month of February, hence Sexuary.  To some, that means having being intimate for the first time in forever.  For some, that meant pushing your boundaries.  So Jackie and I have done variations of Sexuary over the years, from sex every other day ....which led to the year of sex every day for a month, to trying out different kinks, now that's where our lives changed.

So we've tried, and keep trying different kinks that allow us to grow sexually. Things we never would of thought we'd like, we do! Things we weren't ready for mentally (and let's face it sex is every bit as much sexual as it is physical) we are now.

So in our discussions, Jackie mentioned she would like to try a month centered around pain.  For those of you who don't know, pain and pleasure are close cousins.  The endorphins release in both are the same.  Your body can reach to pain all the way to an orgasm if you're very present and learn to use those endorphins. You can fly high on pain like nothing else. So this year we are going to be focusing on pain, and different ways to introduce it to the body.

The other thing we decided is that while there will be a calendar, only I will know what's on that for 25 of the 29 days, and Jackie will know what's on the other 4 without my knowledge.  There is no chance to over thing the pain coming for that day.  It will just happen in it's own time. On Mondays Jackie is in charge of the pain, and I will switch and be the bottom.  1) I enjoy giving up control sometimes, 2) I think every top should have the experience of being a bottom to see what they are doing, it helps when boundaries are getting close to know why those are there. Additionally we've added that every 4th day Jackies vagina will get a break.  Now, not to say there won't be any activities, but unless she just begs for it, those 4th days will have to find other ways to orgasm, ahhh the challenges.

So my challenge was set before me and I have created my 2020 calendar.  Of course we'll be blogging as we go, but unlike in the past we won't post a calendar of what's to come. 

And while obviously things like flogging, which we've already blogged about, will be in the mix, I have at least 10 different elements that we have not done before. Now some of these we've watched. Some we've taken classes on, either through Texas Kink Fest, or various organizations we've attended events with over the last several years.I will let out, since Jackie already knows, that we will be playing with needles some. We've found the art to be beautiful, and Jackie was very interested. So we've taken a class, I've ordered the material needed and we're going to try it.  Now for the record, we are using very small gauge needles, and at least at this time Jackie isn't desiring hooks or other large gauges.....at least for now. Pain as pleasure, all rolled into one.

Hopefully Jackie will put her two cents in as to her experiences as we try new things. We like to give both perspectives when we can. It's interesting when you see it from the others vantage point sometimes.

So there you have it. Most of the packages have arrived, my calendar is penciled in (always able to erase and change things around), and now we wait til January 30th.  This year due to other plans we're going to go from 1/30 - 2/27, with the 27th being a huge surprise for Jackie, oh I can't wait. We hope you'll join us on our journey and comment or question as we go along. If you're joining in on Sexuary, let us know! We love to know others are joining in, pushing their limits sexually, going where they don't generally go.  And we'll share some specifics on where we've learned some of these things as we go so if you want to try them you know where to get started...so now we wait...oh the hardest part. 

Dane