Sexuary 2023 - Spanking, Flogging, Caning, etc

 Today I spoke with Jackie before we started. "I'm going to push your limits tonight.  You can use your safe words, and nothing is new, but I'm going to push how far we go with those things."  She still didn't know what I had plan, but I did.  

I laid out all the tools I wanted to use tonight.  Again, everyone of the tools on the bed have been used time and time again, but today I was going to use them to an extreme. 

Before we got started, I went over again with Jackie her colors, green, yellow, and red.  I would ask her many times throughout the night where she was at, and how she was doing. 

So we got started, I blindfolded her, and then led her to the spanking bench.  I had put extra padding on the bench on her recommendation from the last time we used it.  I put a cover over the pillows to make it more comfortable. 

I started with Thor's hammer, that's the purple yoga block with a 1" dowel stuck into it.  Thor is a good start and a good thudder.  I warmed Jackie up with Thor and my fingers running up and down her back and ass cheeks.  There were lines from my nails and Jackie was moaning as I was thudding away and getting Jackie ready for the real stuff. 

I took a little detour at this point.  We don't do a lot of ass play with Jackie, but tonight I wanted to push her.  I lubed her up and put a small butt plug into her.  A pretty little thing with a pink gem shining out of her ass. It was beautiful and she took it like a champ. 

I then broke out the new heavy duty flogger and started flogging on Jackie.  Normally I'm pretty gentle, flogging for therapy, not for pain.  Tonight, I was swinging for somewhere in between.  I wasn't swinging to welp Jackie, but was wanting her to feel the stings of the flogging. Her back was very red and her ass was starting to glow a bit. 

From there I went to the riding crop.  I started at her feet and worked my way to her ass cheeks. 

I broke the bamboo cane out.  Here is where I laid 10 good hard swats, 5 from each side of the spanking bench.  Nice pretty red whelps started to form where the 10 swings hit. 

Now several times through out I would check on color.  Even a couple of times with each instrument I used just to make sure Jackie was good.  She had remained 'green' throughout the whole ordeal.  I also would reach back and finger her to an orgasm a couple of times, and would even bend down and fuck her till she'd have another orgasm and start again.  

So I bent over and I did something I had planned from the beginning but normally would not do.  Anyone who's read our blog knows that Jackie has been triggered by her mom's teacher paddle.  This paddle is one of my prized BDSM possessions, but it's really been a 'off-limits' item for Jackie.  I bent over though and whispered, "I normally wouldn't renegotiate in the middle, but I want you to let me spank you with your mom's paddle 3 times.  You absolutely may say no!" It didn't take her long and she had agree.  I asked her again if she was sure and she reassured me she was. 

I wend and grabbed it off the wall and took aim.  Paddle swat one lifted her ass and I knew it took it's toll on the already very red ass.  The second swat came and I stopped.  "Color?"  ...."Yellow"..."is it ok for the third swat still?" ...it seemed like forever, and I was just about to put the paddle down when she told me yes, she was ready.  I gave her the 3rd and final swat and then moved her to the bed.

What was the first thing she surprised me with? "Do we have a larger butt plug?" Now I know she means just a bit larger, the next size up.  I run to the 'never use toy drawer' (after all it's way to small for me) and pull out a new plug and replace it with the pretty pink gemstone that was there.  

We finished up the night with the vibrator on her butt plug and both of us in a very good place. 

Afterwards we spoke, and Jackie liked the fact I'd given her the number 3 to know the limits of the paddle.  That almost immediately after I was done with the paddle she went back down to green.  

I had to stop Jackie from putting more and more into her ass.  It's not a regular play for us and I didn't want her to regret going to far to fast.  I would really like to add this to our play more regularly, and didn't want to push to far in one night.  I want to build her up to more and more. 

Over all Jackie was in a fantastic place when we were done.  Her only complaint? She would of liked more canning.  The 10 swats were not enough for her.  Noted! But she purred the rest of the night.  I swear she wanted me to fuck her some more as we were trying to go to sleep.  I had her in a very good place, and that is always a win for me. 

Dane

PS - The next day Jackie didn't have any issues what so ever.  Her red ass is all gone and the night before is all gone except for a desire to do more ass play, and another session with the play toys.

Sexuary 2021 - The Spanking Bench

Ok, I'm not going to lie, the idea of someone on my spanking bench, open and available for my inflicting pain is oddly intoxicating. It will make my dick hard as a rock just thinking about it, so you can imagine my day knowing that this was in my near future...the anticipation was near impossible. 

"It's a very paincentric evening" I warned Jackie.  It's only fair to give her a heads up with all I had in mind.

First we had made out a bit in the living room, just enough to get Jackie her first orgasm, and in a very good place to start.  Let's face it pain is a 2 edge sword, not enough or to much pain becomes just pain, but that right amount of pain become pure pleasure.  Being warmed up prior only makes it easier to make the pain go the right direction...gives you a bigger zone to hit. When we walked into the room I let her know that the school paddles were still in the drawer and would not be used tonight.  I knew this would put her mind at ease some that the 1 thing that can take her to a bad place quickly was not going to be used tonight. 

I placed Jackie on the spanking bench and started with some stroking her back with my finger nails.  It brings the blood to the surface and makes it better for that what is coming.  I check her, and she's very wet already, and I can quickly bring her to another orgasm.  Then I really started.  

First a couple of swats with a riding crop, then I took one of the 2 new floggers we inherited and laid into her a couple of good times.  This one is wider straps, heavier, and definitely a thudder. It's not much of a stinger but is a good warm up.  

Then I broke out one of the whipping cane.  Three swats on the right cheek that definitely left 3 nice whelps.  They are beautiful raised on Jackies ass cheeks. 

Again I check Jackie out, while thrusting I swatted her left ass cheek good and hard.  She jumped as my hand left it's print in her lovely skin.  She came hard and I moved on. 

The next flogger is The Grand Emperor from Flogmebaby.com. It's long tines give a great stinging swat with it's 32" straps.  Her back started to show signs of the abuse it was receiving.... lines raised in her back and when I ran my fingers over her now she definitely arched her back.  

Now her left cheek received the swatting of the 3 swats of cane.  Oh the delicious whelps that started to raise were beautiful.  She was so wet as I slid back into her and brought her to another orgasm.  They are almost coming easier now.  I took the handle to the Grand Emperor and slid it in Jackie and brought her off once more.  

Her right cheek received the smack of my hand, leaving a beautifully raised hand print.   

With both ass cheeks with hand prints, and both with 3 marks each from the cane I brought out the 1 thing Jackie had asked me to try this month, the new yellow flogger we inherited.  One strike of that and it was a quick 'no'.  Later she said it felt like a baseball bat hitting her, and it left 4 square marks on her back where they hit, and honestly I was barely swinging.  I can't imagine if I had gone even 60-70%.  

We moved to the bed and with all the excitement I quickly finished up.  I lost count of the number of orgasms Jackie had in the process. Her pain/pleasure sensors were on overdrive tonight.

Now when we were done I made sure to put some lotions on the marks.  Remember when you do something as traumatic as this scene can be, you need to make sure there is some aftercare.  

If you're interested in the spanking benches, floggers, caning, or any other paincentric activity, please feel free to reach out to Jackie or I for more information. 

Dane

 

Sexuary 2020 - Spanking Bench

So about 6 months ago I purchased a nice spanking bench.  I love the idea of having Jackie on the bench and taking advantage of her in sooooo many ways. But the one I've always wanted that we've never gotten was to paddle her.  Her relatives were school teachers and I've got 2 original school paddles that are at least 40 years old each.  Oh the excitement of getting to use them has had me excited for years.

The problem is that every time we've breached the subject of paddling, Jackie gets into meltdown mode pretty quickly.  We've talked about it many times. During sex I can spank her ass like nobodies business, but just bending her over the bench to spank is a rough one. I want to be clear, we've talked about this and I know Jackies limits.  She also knows I'd stop in a heartbeat if she's heading to a bad place.  I would never do anything to Jackie that was a hard no!

But I knew that I couldn't just bend Jackie over the spanking bench and start paddling her.  This sexuary the wartenberg wheel has been one of those things that will get her to relax.  So I started with the wheels on her back and then added some hand spankings.  Some as I'm running the wheel, some just by themselves (like 5 on each cheek).

After I got her ass a bit warmed up I took a ping pong paddle and kept up with the wheel.  Her ass is a nice pink by now and well warmed up.

So I pulled out the first paddle and popped her ass in between rolls of the wheel.  About 10 pops (and mind you these are not full swings ...but it is a real paddle popping her ass) she starts to cry. Not a cry of pain from the paddle though, I can tell that.  So I lean in to talk to her, she tells me she's ok and to please keep going. She promises me she's not in a bad place, and it's not anything about the paddling.

I trust Jackie. We've been in similar places before and I believe her. Whatever it is we'll deal with, but for now we'll keep going. Ten more swats with the second paddle and then I finish up. I give her extra aftercare.  I have her lay on me and I rub her for about 30 minutes as she comes back down from her space.

Later that night when I felt it was a good time we talked again. In the past I've asked her dozens of times why she goes south when we talk about paddling and she's never had an answer. She swears she didn't know. Well, while I was paddling her she had an image of her begging her mom to stop paddling her. She had done something and was getting spanked. She doesn't remember the incident, it's just these images she got while we were scene'ing.  We don't know how this will play out in the long run.  It could be that she's got answers now and spanking/paddling won't be an issue anymore. It could be that it will only get worst. It will be something I'll have to watch in the future.

But we always try to tell the good with the bad, and we're not sure where this comes yet, but at the moment it wasn't the best of things. How it was handled from the time the emotions appeared to the time we totally ended the scene is very important. If you didn't know your bottom you could have a serious issue. This is why communication before, during and after is so important. If I hadn't know Jackie like I did I would of immediately ended the scene and gone straight to aftercare when the first tear hit.

After all was said and done, it was a good scene.  One we'll try again, keeping in mind what happened this time and watching closely for emotions rising.  We'll talk and deal with whatever might come.

Dane

Spanking.
So Dane had me go to the spanking bench, once again blind folded. I laid across it, he starts his usual touch routine, now we have added the wheels(OMG my #1 thing from this month).  This time pop....touch..pop pop pop.  I knew he was warming me up, I had no idea what he was using tho. 
I knew it eventually got to the paddles.  The paddles that have been hidden for as long I can remember.  Paddles that have memories attached but not my memories. Hell one has masking tape around it from when it was used at school and broke against a 4th graders butt.

Pop pop pop pop...other things, pop pop pop...and the tears start to flow...Not just little tears but sobs..They won't stop, they just flow.  Dane asks if I was ok, I tell him yes yes I am.  I practiclly beg for him to not stop.  I know in a moments notice if my body language changes,or I shut down.  He will shut the scene off. I knew I needed to do this.  To see if I could get answers, to try to figure out why this is a NO and has been for a long while.
 
I can tell you from past experiences its not my thing.  I go into a negative rabbit-hole.  Lost for days or weeks before I can snap out of it.   We have tried to figure out my trigger, what does it look like, what does it feel like, what does it smell like. I have never been about to tell him, I have never been able to tell anyone what happened in the past.  I can tell you there are several years that I don't have a lot of memories of.  Years.  Years to only have one or two memories.  Some good some not so good.  But not once did I have anything that was about my mom.   Today, this spanking session sparked something. It still has yet to reveal the whole thing.  I was telling Dane my filing cabinet has been opened and a file folder has been dumped, I am having a hard time seeing whats in the folder, I see pictures or flashes but the memory is just not there.  I can hear myself saying things but don't know what lead up to that or what followed.  I can hear myself saying "I am sorry mommy, I promise to be a good girl" I can see where it happened.  I am not sure I want to know.  My mom is gone so I can't ask her, my dad is gone I can't ask him.  It was before a sibling was born.  I know as I look back in the past I can see stuff that makes total sense now that I didn't understand then.  Sometimes we have to go thru our trigger and see.  Sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you don't really want to open that can of worms.  However to move forward, you have to sometimes do the hard /bad to get to the soft/good.  
 I have done a lot of soul searching this month.  Trying to figure out what makes me tick the way it does.  
Dane did great after care after my breakdown.  He knew and still knows I have to piece together stuff.  He knows this is not going to fix itself, he knows exactly how much to push me.  He knows I will share with him when I am ready. He knows that right now I am not in a negative space.  He also knows he is my safe space.  You guy this couldn't have happened if I didn't trust Dane 110%.  Its taken years for that trust to build to get here.  Even tho we are here, I still have to let go of my control and let him take total control of me, its been a hell of a month!

Jackie

Sexuary 2020 - Our Dungeon

Every once in a while the stars align and we get one of our bucket list wishes come true.  That happened for us when our 4 bedroom house became vacant except for Jackie and I.  What does that mean? It means we have PLENTY of room to do whatever we want in our house, and no one to wonder in 'accidently'.  So what did we do? We took all the toys we've purchased or built over the last 14 years and built a dungeon! I mean an honest to goodness dungeon!

We've enjoyed many kinks over the last several years (as you can read in this blog) and so we've added to our 'tools of the trade'.  We have the rack that can be used for rope suspension and I've added an adult swing for this Sexuary.

When a local dungeon was moving they had some of their equipment for sale, so when the spanking bench came up we snagged it.  It's way over kill for anything Jackie and I would use (it has hand clamps, and a male masturbater built into it.  It's very sturdy and while if I was building one I'd make some adjustments, for the $50 we paid for it is a great addition to our new dungeon area.

For those of you who build I'd make the center piece and the legs a bit adjustable so that the ass height and the comfort of the sub is better met.

Next we've got a massage table. OH the many uses this table has. Yes, we've done massages on it, but we've also used it as a bed. The head piece pulls out and so you have a square end to lay on. The legs are adjustable, so the height is perfect for Jackie to be laying on it and for me to have a straight shot into her treasure chest.

You'll notices the chaise lounger in the corner.  I know the old 50's movies used them to make the ladies look sexy, but Jackie can bend over the end, lay ass up, or ...well just us your imagination as to what all you can do with it.

Last is the St Andrews Cross I built a year or two ago.  I've built a frame for the bottom with the intentions of taking it places with us over the next year.  A couple of pins and 1 bolt and it will totally come apart and pack away.

The mats on the floor (which we've moved) really do make a difference when you're standing on the floor.  These are from Walmart and are 6 - 1/2" mats for $12.  We have about 125 sq/ft of matting on our floors now. They also are very easy to clean when Jackie gets very orgasmic. 

In the closet we have everything from floggers to needles, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, masturbators, nipple and clit clamps, rope and suspension equipment, TENS units, Violet Wand, other electrical attachments, and anything else we've come across and wanted/needed over the years and of course plenty of lubes. 

We haven't played with everything here, the needles are coming but we are prepared, and there are other boxes I haven't unveiled yet so I can surprise Jackie when the time comes.  When we do have something we like, we go ahead and get good equipment and make sure we have a variety of them. Floggers for instance, we have 6 or 7 of them, varying weight and lengths (Get your flogger at Flogmebaby.com Steven there will treat you right!). 

While over the decades we've spent plenty of money on putting everything in this dungeon together, it's not like the equipment in there is thousands of dollars. We probably have $500 - $600 dollars in floor equipment.  That's all 5 pieces. And if you're a great shopper like Jackie you could probably do it for less.The spanking bench was $50, because we just keep our eyes open for deals like that. You could probably find a massage table and other things for a dungeon. We have another $500 - $750 in 'toys' in the closet.  A lot of that stuff was purchased before Amazon and Wish were around and big into adult toys and gadgets, and has taken us almost 15 years to accumulate. So start small and go from there. Scan through Wish.com and see things that are intriguing to you and get them. Soon you'll have your own collection for a dungeon if you're lucky like Jackie and I are. 

Dane

Sexuary 2020 - Overcoming Fears

So one of the new things Jackie has been worried about is the spanking bench.  I have obvious plans for it over the month, but they are frightful for Jackie, it's one of the reasons she doesn't know what the calendar has on it day to day.  I don't want her to get into her head before she can enjoy it.  It happened during one of our first Sexuarys and didn't want it to happen again.

Yesterday she was planning on taking a trip for the rest of the week, and had said that my lovely wife would be waiting bent over and waiting to be taken when I got back from work.  Well plans changed again, but she promised she'd still be bent over, I'd just have to find where she was bent over at.

I got home from work, 75% stripped before the garage door was closed and I was in the house looking for my bride. When I found her she was bent over on the spanking bench, her ass up in the air and begging to be taken.  After a few rips of my nails down her back I took advantage of her, all the while spanking her ass.

SHE alone chose that as the staring point, and it was to over come her fear of the bench.  How many things in life, but especially sexually do we avoid because we fear it?  I hear all the time how people are afraid of a flogger, or rope tying, or so many other things that if you got over the stigma and fear you might find you enjoy it. Don't let fear keep you from trying something sexually.  Anal is another so many fear, and yet I've told you how even I love a good ass fucking.  Take it slow, you don't jump in with both feet to start, but try it, whatever 'it' might be.

I had to carry Jackie off the bench she enjoyed it so much.  Her legs were weak and she was spent.  The floor was soaked and she was well satisfied.

Dane

PS, I LOVED the nice red hand prints on her ass when we were done.

So as we were prepping for Sexuary we pulled all our stuff out to get our own dungeon put together.  After seeing it set up I had a some anxiety.  Not sure why because most of it we had played with over the last several years so there was really nothing I should have been scared of.  There was a piece of furniture that we had purchased a few months ago that of course Dane had pulled in, pushed all the buttons , turned it off and on. He was very excited about all the potential things it could be used for.  So he brought it inside.  It sat there in the corner, staring at me, of course my mind went into freak out mode...I told Dane one day driving that the only thing that worried me in the room was the spanking bench.  I couldn't explain why but dang it did.

So here we are beginning Sexuary, I have had several days of being high and my nerves were LIT.  They seem to stay that way even a day or two later I am still electrified. I did take another hit off my bong and waited until I knew he was almost home from work. 
I had been teasing him all day long with text about being bent over and wonder where I would be.  I wouldn't tell him where I would be and that he needed to find me.  

So I went into our play room and decided that I would conquer that beast in the corner.  I layed over on it, put my wrist in the holders and waited.  

Dane did an amazing job getting me warmed up, getting me excited.  It was the one of the best nights we have had.  I was still on fire even when we went to bed I could still remember each and every touch, scratch, handprint, bite, kiss, touch.  I replayed them over and over in my head all night long.  I woke myself up dreaming about a great orgasm 2 times that night.  I can't remember the last time I did that.  

With all this being said, I conquered a fear.  A fear of the unknown, a fear of  what could happen, a fear of  fear, a fear of whatif....What did I do...I took my fear and conquered it.

Jackie