Sexuary 2019 - Autovampirism

So after we were playing with Thomas and Kitty one night Jackie said to me, “Thomas bit me on my thighs” and my first reaction was to get a little upset until she continued, “and I didn’t not like it.” 

With a little puzzled look on my face I asked her, “you didn’t NOT like it?”

“Nope, didn’t not like it, creamed all over his face as he did it.”

Later when I spoke to Thomas about it, he said he bit the first time and after that, she literally grabbed his head and shoved it to her thighs for him to continue the biting. 

Now we’ve played with autovampirism over the years.  It made the 2013 original calendar. And Jackie is definitely into anything vampire, but normally over the years for us, it’s been more sucking (OK, Dane is the worst hickie giver ever) or except for the back of her neck just never seemed to be a turn on.  So again the “we tried it, it was ok but…tried it again and now it rocks” is the case. 

So after the discussion the next morning we’re laying there and Jackie, who now has bruises on both thighs and a long line across her back from all the bites, tells me “stop breathing on my neck”…with a puzzled look I move a bit, but as I do I give her a little bite.  Jackie starts to cream and turns into an instant pot and is ready to boil.  After a few more bites, the sex was fantastic! I can say I really felt a bit sorry for the hotel bed and sofa.  I’d bet good money it’s never been cum on like it was that weekend ever before.

The back of Jackie’s’ neck, her breast, her ass, her thighs have all become a major playground for biting this month.  We’d know many women who have constant bruising, most of them from flogging, but we’d always wondered about the constant bruising.  Wednesday Jackie was proud of her bruises and was ready to show them off.  She gets it now.  She understand why someone would want to have bruising.  It represents the fun that happened and the pleasure/pain aspect of sex. 

So would I go and just take a huge bite out of your partner? Of course not…but I would take a nibble and see where that goes.  If you’re not rejected, try a different spot, or try a bit harder. Find the combination that works for you.  What we’ve found is that for us, Jackie has several great zones that work and work well.  I learned a new way to get her in the mood, and she’s learned that bruises can be fun.

Dane

Sexuary 2018 - Munches and Dark Parties

So one of the advantages of getting into the roping scene is that you also get exposure into so many other groups.  We've been fortunate enough to get in with SAADE, Austin Rope Slingers, and Austin Rope Bombing, and several others that are like minded in the kink lifestyle.  The best part of being part of these great groups is that you have get togethers.  There is everything from Munches to Dark Parties, and everything in between.

So let's start with the Munches. In case you don't know, a Munch is an informal meeting of like minded people.  Often times there might be some educational element to it.  It's a great place to meet and get to know others without the sexual element being involved. Ok, at least no one is going to get naked and have sex, as generally these are held in public places (like the back room of a restaurant).

Next there are soft parties.  These are parties that there might be some playing but there will be limits.  Each party might have the own limits, but generally there will not be any sex happening.  Sexy lingerie,  might or might not be nudity, but really it will be heavy petting and could be some ropes or maybe even some flogging or other kink play, but there will not be any sex at this party.  Could be happening right after the party someplace else, just not at the party itself.

Then there are the Dark Parties.  These will be sponsored by some group, or could be a house party, but generally you get to go because you have attended a Munch, know someone to get invited, or are part of 'the group' sponsoring.

These parties are generally "vanilla to the door" then ....well you will find fetish wear, topless, bottomless, naked, and everything in between.  The parties we've attended have different rooms with different BDSM items in each area.  St. Andrews crosses, spanking benches, hard points, stockades, massage/exam tables are all scattered throughout the locations.  Floggers, needle play, ropes, and various other kinks are happening all around you as you pursue through the environment.

Educate dictates you can watch but you don't interfere in any way unless you are asked to by the participants of the scene.  You watch in awe as a bullwhip cracks the back of a sub strapped to a St Andrews cross, or as a sub displays the needle work that her Dom has just completed on their back. 

This is where people let go!!! There will always be DM (Dungeon Masters) that have final say on a scene.  They can stop any scene at any point if they feel like there is danger.  No exceptions, and you'd be automatically thrown out and not asked back if you violated that rule. They are there for everyone's safety.  The Doms, the subs, and those watching.  But beyond that there are very few limits. 

The first time Jackie and I went I tied her up, strapped her to a cross, flogged her and then fucked her right there on the cross.  Afterwards I found out how exciting it was for her to know that others were watching her get fucked like that.  She loved the idea of being watched but never had said anything to me about it.  Well now I know.

The other good thing about these parties is it's safe.  I mean a woman could go by herself and be safe.  If she just wanted to watch and leave she could without having to fight off hordes of guys hitting up on her.  The entire group would make sure she got back in her car safely and if she was looking for a hookup, she could probably find that too.  It's safe.  The members are generally pretty well vetted and nothing unwanted is going to happen. Consent is  paramount in these groups, and communication about consent is demanded.  It's not left to the imagination as to what is wanted/allowed and not.

So how do you get to one of these? Look up Munches on fetlife or something similar and search for munches.  Look, different groups have different ...hmmm...kinks.  Some munches are couples oriented, some Top, some bottom, some female, etc.  So find the group that is in your wheelhouse, and do everyone a favor and read their rules BEFORE you go!  It will save a lot of embarrassment later.

Dane

NOTE: I realized we never posted this post last year, so are posting it now.

Sexuary 2019 - Good Friends and Good Fucks

So one of the things Jackie and I have 'played around' with over the years is bringing others into our bedroom.  If you go back to the first time we tried with a couple (Sexuary 2013), it was pretty disastrous.  Things didn't click.  Things moved oddly and definitely were not a good experience.  We'd had other experiences that were.  The 1 gentleman we played with for over a year (every few months we'd spend a date night out with him), and had a great time.  But for some reason couples just never seemed to work out quite as well.

Over the course of this last year we've met a couple and became friends.  While I'd known the guy for a bit, and had met his significant other, Jackie hadn't met either.  Our first get together as couples was at Hippie Hollow.  No better way to meet someone than with all your cloths off right? We've become great friends over the year and some where along the way the question was asked, "so, can we all get together in bed?"  As always for us, both of us have to agree, and since we know I'm a horny bastard it left it to Jackie to work it out.

After several visits it did happen, and has continued to happen over the last 6 months or so.  So when Sexuary 2019 calendar was being made we texted them to see if they were available for a weekend of swinging fun.  Of course they said yes.

Now I want to point out we hook up some times just for cards, or a meal, or get together.  Both of our families have met the other as our friends.  We know them, and their story just like they know ours.  It's not a quick roll in the hay and we were out the door.

And while Jackie had some feelings she had to process the first couple of times, it's not gotten to where when we are together we can flirt and have fun, and each of us knows who's going home with who and there are no problems. We have gone to dark parties together, and we've played at each others house.  When I built our St. Andrews cross they were they were their for the inaugural weekend. The new hard point for the house we actually put it together the 1st time at their place and I suspended all 3 of them that night.  Rarely a day goes by that we don't all text something back and forth asking about each others day or family. 

So Friday comes and to be honest Jackie had a horrible week.  We weren't even 'scheduled' to play Friday night, but she needed some release.  So we all went out for dinner and .99 cent Margaritas. Afterwards Jackie and Thomas (Thomas and Kitty are our friends) laid on the sofa together while I took and gave Kitty an hour massage.  We just relaxed and got the days stress out of our system.  We moved to the bedroom and .....well let's just say the women were all very satisfied before we ended up in a pile in the middle of the bed and chatted for about 30 minutes as we planned the next days adventures. 

Did I mention that the king sized bedroom I rented had a hot tub in it? Yeap, Jackie and I had stayed here before so when I was looking I went back.  It's really a 2 person tub but you can easily fit 3 and really could fit 4 in it if you wanted to be playful and cozy. So while Thomas and Kity took care of their daily honey-dos, Jackie was in an extraordinarily horny mood and I was ever so happy to help her with her condition.

After lunch we came back and worked on those rope ties I struggled with so much this on Wednesday.  We'd talked about different things we could do to make it work and sure enough with a set of new ropes, a couple of piles and a lot less frustration Jackie was tied up and laying comfortably on the bed.   OF COURSE I took advantage of the situation a little, but then I let her chill in her subspace for about 15 minutes while tied up. 

Just as I was finishing putting my new ropes away in come Thomas and Kitty with a bottle of wine and cups.  The hot tub filled up with Jackie relaxing on the sofa next to it as we chatted for at least a good hour or more.  They'd been to lunch with their kids and had gotten good news, and we were all in just happy.

Of course hands and feet were rubbing all around and by the time we got out everyone was ready for more sexual adventure.  We played for a couple of hours till there just wasn't much left in our tired bodies.  Thomas took good care of Jackie, I turned Kitty into rubber and when it was done the 2 gals hopped back into the hot tub for a relaxing finish.

We went to dinner at their house, the women both got massages, and then we played cards while sitting around naked. Life is good!!! But these are our friends.  Yes, it's more than the average relationship of couples, but it's where we are.  It's good.  It's comfortable.  And most importantly it's fun for all of us.  Don't get me wrong, like all relationships there have been some misunderstandings, but we've gotten through those, and the results are weekends like these (yes there have been other full weekends of adventures with them) that just really really are a great time for all.

So what are my takes on things?  First of all, just because something doesn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't work at all.  It has taken us 6 years to find a couple we've enjoyed playing with and figuring out what went wrong with the others.  For us it was we needed that relationship to happen. We needed a connection to hang onto before it was sexual.

For the roping side it meant that we had to work out some positions, and Jackie had to talk to me about what worked for her and what didn't.  She came up with the idea of the pillow under her hip and putting her arms up front instead of behind her ....that worked for us.

It also means that because we were willing to go outside of our box more than once, even after failure the first time, we not only have found success, but exceeded in it.  In both cases we could of let it drop and never gone back, and probably been justified in doing so.  But we didn't and because of that we have had a fantastic weekend.

Swinging weekend has definitely been a success!!!

Dane

PS, this morning Jackie asked if we could extend a day....well you can bet your bottom dollar I made that happen!!! A happy horny Jackie makes for an extremely happy and satisfied Dane!

Sexuary 2019 - Anal Fisting

Ever since our first Sexuary that we went out on a limb and started trying 'kinky' stuff, anal fisting on me has been 1 of my absolute favorites.  Honestly Jane has confided that there is something about having her hand and wrist deep in my ass that's pretty hot for her too. It's one of those that not only gets me off, but has a long lasting calming for me.  It will embrace my entire body and release all the tension from the top of my head to my toes. 

This year, once again, life tried to get in my way of this favorite of favorite nights.  It's hard make sure your sex life is a number 1 priority, and that's part of what Sexuary is about, putting it back as a priority in our relationship.  But instead of saying 'fuck it' because it got late and because Jackies day had started with her throwing up from migraines, we made it happen. I did NOT regret it. 

We tried some new lube we'd been recommended for fisting, J-Lube.  Gotta tell you, if you want to deal with cold stringy cheese that will create a spiders web of lube then this stuff will work.  One container will make a ton of lube, but so far we're not impressed.  So Jackie quickly switched back to our favoirte for this Elbow Grease.  In fairness to J-Lube I did read where you can microwave it ahead of time and it will change that 'snottiness'.  We'll try that another time when I can premix it earlier in the day. 

But Jackie caressed my asshole into opening up after a little work and sure enough she reached in and hit that spot.  There is NOTHING like when someone hits that spot deep inside of me.

So a few "FAQs" that we always get:

1) Yes, I always take about an hour ahead of time and 'clean out'.  Multiple flushes of enemas until I'm getting clear fluid.  Sometimes that's 45 minutes, sometimes that 90 minutes, but it's well worth the time for me.  And while I actually get off a little on enemas, I'll admit the 90 minute times are a lot.  

2) Yes, we use TONS of lube.  If you think you've used enough you're probably only 1/2 way there.  This is an ass, and it's not self lubricating and normally you're not putting large objects in it, so LOTs of lube is probably an understatement. 

3) Yes, sometimes it will still make a bit of a mess.  But I keep a towel under me, a towel on the side for all the toys to sit on, and a towel for Jackie to use to wipe anything she needs.  Even if it's just the mess of the lube it requires a bit of preplanning to prevent a mess. 

4) Does it hurt?  I'll admit there is 1 point right before her hand slides completely in that stretches me to my limit.  It's a bit uncomfortable and a twinge of pain...but my mind knows that little bit of pain is about to bring a lot of joy.  And honestly it's only the first time her fist goes in.  After that she can go in and out without any problem.  Once her hand has been in there my muscles relax and you could drive a Mac truck in there I think.  

5) After effects? This is the odd one to me, honestly, except for the entire body euphoria, within 5 minutes of us finishing up, my ass feels nothing out of the ordinary.  NOTHING! It doesn't hurt, it doesn't tingle, it's like it never happened.  Now we only do this every 6 - 12 weeks, so there's been no other side effects either.  Ok, honestly I'd do it more often, but it is a lot of work.  

This time Jackie surprised me by taking a couple of pictures with her hand deep in my ass.  She knows how much I love pictures, and I didn't ask, she just did it. Gotta love a partner who surprises you like that! 

You know when we started, I already loved anal play, but let's face it fisting brings it to a whole other dimension.  It was out of the box and definitely a 'kink' play for us.  AND if you read through the 2013 blog, it didn't 'just happen'.  It took us several times before my ass accepted it and her knowledge of what's back there allowed it to happen.  But we went there and tried it and today it's definitely top of my list. 

So get out there, try SOMETHING different.  You don't have to stick a hand up someones ass, though if you do bravo to you.  Maybe some finger play in an ass is a new and fantastic sensation.  Maybe just touching all over your partners body is different.  But go there and try it! Do something different and get out of that rut. 

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Riggers Remorse

Since May of 2018 Jackie and I have really gotten into rope work (hence this years banners).  We've been going to classes on Wednesday nights learning safety, and fun ways to tie and suspend.  I literally have 1000s of feet of rope of multiple colors, and carry about 500' at any given time.  We've enjoyed it so much that I even built us a hard point.  It sits in our bedroom disguised as a chair hanger in between sessions. But behind closed doors it will suspend Jackie or we can use it for various other sexual play. 

So Wednesday night have been date night with rope class attached.  We've gone from the beginners class to the advanced 301 classes. So for Sexuary our Wednesdays read, "Rope class then playing in the car on the way home." Last night was the last 301 in a series.  It was a struggle for me.  As a rigger I got frustrated and ended up untying Jackie without getting her up.  It was frustrating for Jackie because even in her partial state of being roped up she had found a comfort zone and was enjoying it...yet I just untied her.  Was not a great start to our first Wednesday night of Sexuary.  Definitely didn't workout the way I had planned.

I did calm down and we started our hour drive home.  Jackie let me know that something would happen just be patient.  I was good with that, because I wasn't sure if I'd blown it or not getting impatient with the rigging.  I wouldn't have blamed her.

But she really surprised me.  I figured there would be a bit of masturbation, or a show for me, but nope, she went and gave me a blowjob to remember as we cruised up I35.  When we got to the house she helped finish me off.  What a great adventure!!! She really saved the night.  I owe her 1 next Wednesday night. 😈

As for the knots we were working on...not sure we'll ever get that 1 knot...who knows.  But we still enjoy the ropes and the sensations it gives both of us.  If you're interested in ropes look up Shibari, and I highly recommend the website https://crash-restraint.com.  It's some great safe instructions on basic and advance knots used to restrain someone. I've learned a lot over the last year on this site.

If you're looking for some good quality rope at a very reasonable price, try MyNawashi on Etsy. Wish.com has some, but be careful NOT to get the cotton ropes, they are useless for bondage.

So even though we plan things, sometimes (and this happens every year), things don't always work out the way we expect, but they can still be saved!!! It's the magic of Sexuary.  So try....go for it...do something out of your comfort zone and have a great Sexuary!!!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - New Positions

So when Jackie and I got together our size definitely limited some of the things we could and couldn't do.  Honestly we generally had sex in the same position or 2.  Oh the foreplay would be different, or 'where' might be different, but it could get a bit monotonous. It was 1 of the reasons that Sexuary was so important to us.  It got us out of our rut of the same ole ole.

And part of that was 69'ing was very difficult for us.  Well 150 lbs gone has definitely opened up some options for both of us.  And while giving oral isn't Jackies favorite, it ranks right up there with me.  Now the extra fun of 69'ing is keeping enough composure to keep going on your partner while they are trying to send you over the top.  The having your partner reach their orgasm while she's sucking you dry is just freaking awesome.

So this is our Sexuary....we try different things...we go back to things one or both of us enjoy but just rarely seem to slide into our routine.  For us 69 is one of those things.  I know, for some it's nothing.  for us it's out of the norm and a great time. So that's why it was our 2nd night of Sexuary.

What are you doing different this Sexuary? What 'out of the norm' thing is on your agenda? It doesn't have to be monstrosity of a move, something as simple as flipping around and doing a 69 might be all it take for this Sexuary. 

Dane 

Sexuary 2019 - Sensation

So Sexuary 2019 started off with the worst day I've had in a long time.  From 6 am in the morning till 8 pm when we shut the bedroom door it seemed like the world was against me. And yet, the 1 thing that kept me from curling into a ball and just crying was the fact that today was the start of Sexuary and no matter what things would happen.  Sanity was maintained this way.

So on our calendar was Sensations for Jackie.  This is an oldie but goodie that we don't bring out very often, yet Jackie really does like it. It takes some patience, and a little bit of planning, but the rewards can be outstanding. 

So I prepared by getting different sensations together. We have a soft blanket we bought for this years ago, a rabbit fur we got from Tandy Leather for a few bucks, a bottle of oils, corn starch, some nipple claps, a paddle we have that has a smooth and rough side, a bucket of ice, a blindfold, and some Japanese rope secured to the headboard and some candles. I searched "romantic" on Pandora and hit play. 

With the blindfold on I caressed Jackie with each of these items.  With the nipple clamps on I used both ice and wax on her. I caressed every inch of her body with the rabbits pelt.  The blanket was run over her several times, and when I was working up top, it was used to keep her warm below. The oils smell good and the corn starch makes your fingers feel soft as you run them over your partners body. 

By the time we got to the sex, Jackie was very ready.  Thinking about it I should of had something for her to eat too.  I think I have in the past, but then I would of had all the senses (touch sight smell taste and sound).  I've never played music while doing this before and it had some unexpected side effects.  When you engage all the senses like that it can be a lot and hopefully can make your experience that much better.

All in all it was a great start to Sexuary....how about you? Anything? Any plans? Anything to make this month better with your partner than what's been happening? I just gave you a list of ideas that are easy to put together in any household.  Improvise with your surroundings, but there is plenty around you that could be used to turn an ordinary night into an extraordinary night.

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Kickoff and a Challenge

 So Sexuary 2019 is about to begin on Friday.  I don’t know it it’s 6 or 7 years of us celebrating Sexuary, but it’s been a few.  A couple of them have been flops.  Most of them have been not only fun, but enlightening.  We’ve found new things that we enjoy sexually.  We allow each other to explore and not be judgmental.  It’s definitely opened our eyes to other things out there that we never would of found if Sexuary didn’t exist. 

So what was Sexuary about?  It was about doing something different.  For some it’s about having sex this month.  For others it’s exploring strange new ideas.  We started with every other day for a month with a different ‘kink’ every time.  Then came the great 28 days of sex, with 28 different kinks.  Some of those we still practice, some we’ve written off, but we at least tried them.

So our challenge to you is in Sexuary, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!! Make time for a real date and sex afterwards if that’s something you don’t do generally.  Buy a new toy and wear it out.  Read through our blog and find a list of ideas that cost nothing or VERY little.  Cornstarch for silky smooth caressing.  A pair of dice for a game of what to do and for how long.  Some ice.  Getting it on in the living room instead of the bedroom.  Or you can go extravagant and plan a weekend away, hit a burlesque show and fuck like bunnies all weekend. Whatever it is you don’t do, try it!

For us, we’ve got our days lined up.  Nineteen of twenty-eight days are scheduled with fun and adventures.  It’s not the most we’ve scheduled it’s not the least…but we’ve added more rope play (this is a new this last year for us).  Ropes and suspension are now part of our repertoire. 

So go….NOW, go and figure out what you’re going to do this Sexuary.  Surprise your significant other and just make plans that will freak them out because they don’t know who this person they are talking to is…but they love it anyway and are going to take advantage of it. J ….What are you doing still reading this blog? Go…..and have a GREAT Sexuary 2019!!!

Sexuary 2018 - Ropes

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Sexuary 2018 - Texas Kink Fest

This year we were invited to the Texas Kink Fest and decided to go.  Who else would be our kindred spirit but a group of kinksters that were open and would talk and demonstrate about their kink?

So before I get to far, I want to tell you want it wasn't.  It wasn't a massive orgy with sex every where you looked.  And while there was plenty of nudity, there was less than at Hippie Hollow or other nudist camps.  Yes, some of us were nude all the time, some were half dressed, and some never took off a stitch of clothing.  So if you are looking into one of these and think you're going to a Roman orgy you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Now on to what it was.  This was a weekend that people with kinks could display their skills, discuss their desires, and learn from others.  There were several classes each day that you could attend.  There were demonstrations, and there was entertainment all provided throughout the weekend.

 

There were classes Jackie and I attended together, like the ropes 101 class, and there were several we took separately. It was a safe environment, and I knew Jackie would be safe in any of the sessions there alone. 

Their Dungeon was to die for.  Mr. Grey could of taken a lesson from the setup.  It was available for you to try out, and use.  If you were looking for a piece of furniture for your Dungeon they probably had one for you to try, and WANTED you to try it out.  Thank you TKF for that experience!  People would watch respectfully as a scene went on and would just move on afterwards.  

The rope work that was both taught and demonstrated was just fantastic!  We learned a few new knots.  We learned a new way to tie Jackie up that would relieve some of the stress on her shoulders.  We learned we really want to learn a hell of a lot more about ropes!! We also saw one of the most sensual performances where one young lady used ropes to suspend another young lady.  No one in the audience dared to take a breath in fear of missing something.  It was so erotic, so sensual, so spectacular.  

We saw other demonstrations on flogging.  We saw people in their "pup" personas.  We saw a couple with collars being walked around.  We saw needles and hook and so much more.  All was done respectfully and none judgemental.  It was a place a person could go and practice their kink, learn more about their kink, and teach others about their kink.  

Now Jackie and I have learned there are things not for us, beyond one or the others limits.  But we can also appreciate their desire for their kink and appreciate the beauty in things we wouldn't try ourselves.  

If you find yourself with an opportunity to attend such a weekend, we highly recommend it. It was a great time and we look forward to next years Kink Fest, May 2 - 5, 2019. 

Dane