Friday, February 27, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Dildos

Ok, so the buttons are to much for you to handle, or maybe you are tired of having to steal the kids game controller batteries, then a dildo is what you need.  So for clarification I'll define a dildo as an adult toy that doesn't us a battery and is generally used for inserting inside of someone.

So in the adult toy world we seem to have vibrators and dildos for the most part (yes, I know there is all the other fun, kinky stuff like ropes and chains, and paddles and whips) but for now we'll talk about why 1 over the other and why your dildo can be your friend.

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes.  From the that's nice to the OMG you're not getting near me with that thing sizes.  They are most often made with a slightly spongee, rubbery outer coating for a more realistic feeling most of the harder vibrators.  These coatings are often times the difference in cost between 1 dildo and another.  Additionally, many of the dildos have a harder inner core to help with inserting them inside.  If they don't it can be difficult to get them inserted where you want to go.  Some dildos will come with suction cups to stick to a wall, bathtub, or any other place you'd like to explore nirvana from.

Dildos are a preference thing though.  Each person has a preference and that's the right one for you. Big or small, fat or skinny are all what you like.  There are ridges on some, nodules on others, but those are all personal preferences.  How wide should you get it?  Maybe use the finger rule.  How many fingers do you use when fingering your vagina or ass when you're playing?  Use that as a width for the width of your new dildo.  As for length?  My rule of thumb is you can always short stroke a long dildo, but if it's to short...well your orgasm could come up short too.  There is of course the let's be real about it too rule.

Oh and let's not forget the double headed dildo. These are generally 12"+ long and very flexible. You can share the dildo with a partner or bend it in half and use both ends at once.

If you like dildos but might want an occasional vibration, some of the dildos have a place to put a bullet vibrator in them for a little kick.

Some of the reasons you might like to use a dildo over a vibrator?  Noise is one big reason.  If you don't want others to hear you playing a dildo could be a better option.  What if you wanted to use something on both your vagina and clit or ass at the same time?  It could be better to make 1 a dildo as having 2 vibrators hitting together sometimes causes a racket and could pinch you.  Making 1  a dildo would prevent that.

Make sure you keep your dildos clean and just remember anything a penis can do, yeap that's exactly what a dildo can do. 

Hope your Sexuary has been good and you've had fun breaking out those toys. 

Monday, February 16, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - TENS / Electricity

So it's Sexuary and you want to go outside the box a bit.  How about using that TENS unit?  We first discussed it in Sexuary 2013 in an article here, and again when I purchased our first attachment here.  Some of it went very well, some not so well for us.

But what is electricity play?  It's just that, using electricity to help with or cause orgasms or just feeling good sensations.  A TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) unit is a medical unit used to help patients with muscle issues in their back, arms and legs (I'm sure almost any place).  TENS machines works by sending stimulating pulses across the surface of the skin and along the nerve strands. The stimulating pulses help prevent pain signals from reaching the brain.Tens devices also help stimulate your body to produce higher levels of its own natural "Endorphins".  If you put those pulses in just the right places, well what you could get is an orgasm.

The electricity will flow from 1 pad to the other, so you want everything in direct line of where those spots you want stimulated are.  Common electrode placement for penises is on the underside of the shaft, with one pad near the head of the penis and one at the base. Alternatively, for testicular enjoyment, place one pad on the top of the scrotum and the other on the bottom. For vaginas, a pad on either side of the clit or opposite sides of the vaginal opening can feel wonderful. A pad on each side of the anus is also an option. Keep in mind, the jelly-like pad adhesive is very sticky and works best on smooth skin. It’s best to shave first if you’re working with a very hairy area.

You can also find attachments for your TENS units like the Penis straps or anal plugs and if you look you'll find more. The one caveat I'll give on these is to use LOTS of medical gel.  It's cheap and worth every drop you put on the unit.  Otherwise you'll feel sparking instead of a nice current.  Nothing like having a your penis strapped down and sparks biting into it.  Read the directions!!! I didn't at first and was very disappointed at the outcome.

Now there are other devices that use electricity The Violet Wand is probably the most famous.  It's not cheap (about $200), but do you really want the cheapest model when you're talking about sending electricity through your body?  This wand is made to run over yourself or someone and kind of acts like a plasma ball we had growing up, except you are the other side of the electricity with no glass in between.  I've never experienced them first hand but have spoken with people who have and everyone loves these jewels.  

So first question, does it hurt?  The only time I've ever had a painful experience is when I used an attachment with no gel.  Otherwise I could crank up the medical unit full blast (slowly of course) and had a great sensation.  When we use them on Jackie she'll need a breather from her orgasms.  They are intense and continuous until she turns off the unit once they start.  Take it slow, and gradually increase your power till you find that sweet spot.

Will you always orgasm?  While Jackie has always been able to orgasm I've never been able to cum with the TENS unit.  I have however had great sensations that have almost brought me there.  I'm still working on placement, but I still recommend trying it.

Can you use a TENS during sex?  Both of you might be wearing 1 set of pads, or just the act of each of you having a set of pads while having sex will cause extra stimulation and will mimic suckling on your clit, testicles, or anus during intercourse can take your lovemaking to new heights.

So if you have that TENS unit in the closet from a bad back, then break it out and try it for other purposes.  If you are thinking about some sort of electrical play, then Jackie and I recommend going for it!!!  One of the great things about TENS units is they are just as good for single play as for with a partner.  So whether Sexuary is about "ME" time or "US" time it's a great way to go.

Got some other scoop on electric play that makes you go over the top?  Share it here for everyone to learn.  Recommendation on a specific type of electric toy?  Or just what you've found works or doesn't work please share so others can learn!.

Hope your Sexuary 2015 is going well!!!


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Ordinary Items Used As Toys

Ok so it's Sexuary 2015 and you've haven't got an extra $75 or $100 or $200 dollars for a new sex toy, and the batteries are dead in your old ones but you want to have some extra fun in the bedroom, so what do you do?  Look around the house it's full of fun toys that can be brought into the bedroom for some excitement the next time you play.

Kim Bainger in 9 1/2 Weeks
Let's start with the simplest of stuff.  I remember the scene with Mickey Rourke and  Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks where a single ice cube and made millions of teenagers cream there pants as he ran it down over her lips and
body.  The ice can be used on either sex and lots of fun can be had.  Now I generally get a small bowl and a hand towel to go with it if I'm planning something like that, but yes, an ice cube found in your freezer can be a great addition to your sex toys.

I  know that not everyone wears ties like they used to, but I think most men have a tie or 2 in the closet.  Instead of leaving it in the closet, use it in bed.  Tie someone up and make them squirm (maybe with the ice cube from above), before taking it to the next level.  If you don't have a tie, use a belt.  Honestly you don't have to tie them to tight, it's more about the idea of being constrained than the actual constraint. 

Ok, not every house had cloths pins anymore, but for a dollar or so you can have more than you will ever need to play with.  As nipple clamps, on the scrotum, I've seen them in a row on the thighs or sides, or ear lobe or ...well you get the idea, if you can pinch it you can put a cloths pin on there.  So why? It's not only the pinching sensation, but the rush of blood once you remove the pin that is part of the adrenaline rush.  Oh a little trick I've learned is that a dime, penny or nickel placed by the spring can lessen the clamp.  So if your cloths pin is too much to be placed on the nipple, just put a dime there and see if that is better, if not try a penny or a nickle.Simple adjustment and you can still use the cloths pins.

While we purchased a piece of cloth for the next, a fluffy robe or a fluffy blanket could be used for feeling and texture once the person is blindfolded or maybe you want to just wrap it around your hand and gently rub. I like taking Jackies favorite cloth and spreading it over her and slowly sliding it down her body giving her goose bumps.  But in this case it's about the texture when they can't see.  

Have you priced a good paddle lately?  Yeah they aren't cheap by any means, but the paddle in our drawer is nothing more than a ping pong paddle.  The sides are lifting up and there's a couple of spots a bit worn, but that just gives it character.  A new one is only a few bucks, and I promise, as I speak from experience here, a good wallop with that will do the trick just fine. By the way, a good wooden spoon from the kitchen can do just as good of a job too. Oh and if you're into role playing and one of you is a student, a good hardback book could be your next paddle.

Got a feather boa or some feathers from some school project?  I will say not all feathers are created equal, but if you have something soft like that use it.

Don't have a blindfold to use?  Just take a t-shirt and fold it and tie it in the back or a scarf from her closet.  The idea is to deprive the 1 individual from a sense, that of sight, so anything will work.  Though blindfolds are pretty cheap if you look around.

Certain candles can be used in the bedroom too.  Dripping the wax can be very pleasure/pain enjoyable.  Not all candles are equal for this.  Soy and paraffin candles burn cooler and are easier to remove later.  Avoid most other candles as they can burn the skin.  I found a great article on wax here if you want more on it.

Two dice could be a great start for the night.  Each number on 1 die is a place on the body and the other die represents what you're going to do with it (lick, rub, kiss...come up with your own ideas here).  After a few rounds I'm thinking you won't need the dice any more.  And of course strip poker is always a way.  Another way is that the winner gets to take off a piece of clothing and the loser has to pay 2 minutes attention to that spot, or something to that effect, be creative here.

We play games with sports too.  Superbowl was 3 minutes of being eaten or blowjob for every touchdown scored.  In years past (when we didn't have company) that was due immediately upon scoring.  Made the game a lot more interesting for us and as the game came to a closer, we came too.  

Basketball can be how many points difference between quarters.  Even NASCAR can turn into a game where you pick a driver or team and winner gets xy and z. The difference between places at the 1/2 point and/or the end could be the number of minutes something happens.  If your driver/team wins you get bonus time. 

What we're saying is just because you can't drop a chunk of change at the adult toy store doesn't mean you are stuck with a boring sex life.  PLAN out a night with your partner where all the items used aren't meant to be used for sex, but you do it anyway.  They will be impressed you were thinking about them that much and the extra excitement can lead to so extra fun play.

Do you have a household item you use in your sex play?  Share it here so others can enjoy it too.  Get with your partner and plan out something together, sometimes the planning is as much fun as the doing.  Make this the Sexuary that you have a great Ah Ha moment with your partner and part of that is playing with everyday ordinary objects as sex toys. 

On this Valentine day, the 1/2 way point of and high holy day of Sexuary, find some way to make a difference in your relationship.  It doesn't take a lot of money to have a great time using toys in the bedroom.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Strap-Ons

So was hoping to get to the TENS units but am waiting for a new toy to arrive before I finish that so we're going to talk about strap-ons.  YEAH!

So strap-ons are one of those Sexuary toys that EVERYONE gets to play with.  It doesn't matter your gender or sexual preference there are strap-ons for you and your partners enjoyment.  While we generally think of strap-ons in women on women, it can actually be used by both men and women on both men and women. Damn these strap-ons are good!!!

So it's been our experience that most strap-ons are pretty simple in design.  While the miles of webbing or leather might look intimidating, once you can lay it out and figure out leg and belt you're good to go.  Just tighten it up and fun and excitement are around the corner.   Though you'll notice in our picture we have one that wraps around you thigh, a much simpler design, though it has some 'thrust' issues to it. 

So most of the strap on work with a metal O ring that fits around the base and then that snaps into your webbing.  Note the bottom left dildo is made to be put onto a strap on belt.

We've also found a double sided strap on that vibrate both her and him at the same time (lighter purple on).  While Jackie had issues with the angle on this one we loved the idea of it.

So why do we play with strap-ons?
  • Well first of all there is the hands free element here.  Depending on the sex using it you could be stroking a clit or a cock, or just holding on while still stroking or pegging.  
  • You can get your hips into it.  Let's face it these are nothing more than dildos and vibrators, but hip action definitely adds a new dimension to the thrusting the receiver is getting. 
  • For the women there is gender bending
  • For the men there is now 2 penises and the possibility of double penetration
  • Additionally for men with erectile issues the strap on can over come so of those issues and provide a great sexual experience. 
  • There are role play opportunities here.  The strap on because that guy you invited to your bed together.  
So I'll add that while some guys are intimidated by strap-ons, I've never met a guy that's tried them that don't appreciate them.  The "you've got to be gay if you allow anal" myth is just that a myth.  After all why would one of the most erotic zones in a man be found within the anal channel if we weren't supposed to explore there? Seriously guys there is nothing like having your prostate rubbed while a woman has a strap on dildo plowing in your ass and you're being stroked.

Oh but wait that means the wife must really be butch and dominate. *slapping forehead*  For most women wearing a strap on has no gender implications. It's just another accessory they wear for sexual play that just happens to be very practical and while they might seriously get into the moment, it doesn't change who they are.  If they're not butch and dominate now a strap on isn't going to change that. 

Here's a good video I found talking about the different styles of strap-ons and attachable dildos.

I will say that we had problems finding our first belt for Jackie because of size.  But what I figured out was that the web belts are standard webbing and I just added a couple of pieces of webbing extending the pull straps.  This allowed a more comfortable fit for her, and pleasure for me.  So for us the web belts were the best option. 

We also have found that it is generally much cheaper to purchase a harness by itself and then add the dildo you want to add separately.  The 'kits' get quite pricey and you won't always get the dildo you want.  Putting your own set together allows you to get what you want, and often at a cheaper price. You'll notice in our collection we have a variety of strap on dildos that we can put on Jackies harness.

So how does this work with Sexuary?  Well here's the deal, strap-ons allow for some unique toy play.  They bring an intimacy to your bedroom (or other places) that just the dildo doesn't.  And isn't that what Sexuary is about?  Bringing a new sense of intimacy to the bedroom.  Even if it's for the 1 night this month, these toys are fun.

So where are you on Sexuary adventures this year?  Have you brought more toys to your sanctuary?  Have you used them for self satisfaction?  Have you made a change for this month to bring more communication to your relationship?  We still have over half the month left, so if you haven't do anything for Sexuary you still have time!!! Go for it, grab that strap on and ........

If you don't have a strap on we highly recommend adding one to your collection!


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Repairing a Vibrator

So as Sexuary 2015 came around and we looked at our toys we found several that the batteries had corroded and weren't working (sad we have so many that we neglect some of ours).  Because of the number of vibrators we have there are times we leave batteries in way to long.  What happens then?  Well the batteries corrode and the vibrator doesn't work anymore.  Investment wasted!  I've created this video to help you repair some of your vibrators.  While this video specifically shows the type where lids can be removed the same principles can be used on any vibrator that the batteries have corroded and got acid in the compartment.

Total cost to save 3 vibrators just over 20 cents.  YEAH!!! And we've used 2 of them since we fixed them. SCORE!!! Sexuary 2015 is in full swing here.

Do you have a better way or a trick to fixing your vibrators?  Share them below or email us at

Monday, February 2, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Vibrators Part 2

So hopefully you're on track with your Sexuary goals.  If not, that's OK, just adjust and move forward.  Sexuary isn't about a day for a reason.  It's about a month that you dedicate to making this month better between you and your partner sexually.  Hopefully some of the information here will help you achieve those goals.

So where were we?  Oh yeah we were talking about vibrators.  If you missed part 1 of the series head back here.   
Vibrating Bullet
So let's start out talking about vibrating bullets.  These little vibrators are normally about the size of your finger around and about 2 knuckles long, and pack a huge punch. It seems most of them only take 2 or 3 watch batteries but damn the punch they can pack could set up a good nights play. 

These are really for the clit or nipples, or where ever you want to run them over, but are not so good for inserting them inside of someone.  So what else are they good for?  Well for starters you can just drop one in your pocket or purse and take one with you where ever you'd like.  It's really is that small.  So then what if you were at the store and your partner .....well I'm going to let your imagination run a bit here, but these things are small enough to hide and take with you.  They are very easy to clean, and many of these are waterproof too. Best of all they are very inexpensive.  Amazon sells a 3 pack here for $10.  We've picked them up at stores for $5 - $15 and they are great.  When the batteries run out you can either get a new one or a package of watch batteries cheap.  Definitely something you should have in your collection.

Vibrating Egg
Eggs run along the same line as the bullets except they are egg shaped and most of them we've seen have a cord attached with some sort of controller.  They are a little bigger and because of the battery compartment can pack a bigger punch.  Note the can.  Not all eggs are created equal has been our experience. 
TIP -  When checking out any vibrator don't just hold it in your hand, but put it up to your nose.  Your nose is much more sensitive and while it's not a clit, it's better than your finger tips

So these eggs are still pretty easy to clean but unlike the bullet you can easily insert them and retrieve them because of the cords attached. I will say we have several that have different style controllers and the only thing we've found is that some of them light up and even change colors while they are running.  Now while a bit of light is good, sometimes the lights from these can get distracting for us.  That's our personal take, but maybe you like bright lights flashing at you while playing with yours.

Again, these vibrators are cheap, many under $10, and most under $20.  Though some of the variations like wireless remotes and such does bring the prices up.  So we have a couple of these wireless eggs.  We'll play a game like every time a certain word is said the egg gets turned on, or just because we want.  Nothing like trying to place your order at a restaurant and trying to keep you composer when that little buzz starts inside of you. Oh and that game can be played by anyone as these eggs can be inserted both vaginally and anally.  But our best story was when Jackie and I were playing that game and our son saw the remote and picked it up to play with it for a minute.  I just pretended nothing was going on while Jackie took the remote back away.

Hitachi with 2 attachments
Last vibrators I'm going to talk about fall into the OMG category.   The Hitachi is probably the standard that all others try to meet up with.  We have a 3 BodyWands which we love to death and are definitely the 'go to' vibrators.  But these vibrators are made for one thing, and that's to cause orgasms in women!!! They can make a women cum in a remarkable time.  As Jackie says it can go from cold to OMG orgasm in 6 seconds flat. We have both the cordless and corded versions, and will say there is nothing more disappointing than having the charge die in the middle of a session.  So we prefer the corded version, and have an extension cord on it so that it can reach where ever we want it to.

The Hitachi has several attachments that add to it's pleasure regions it can reach.  If you are looking for one of these you might look into whether or not you can get attachments for it. This is another toy that when it came out they were very expensive and lots of milk and bread money was saved so women could get theirs.  But today the pricing has dropped significantly and are more in the $50 - $75 range. 

I will caution though that the full power on these are so incredible that it can get over intense and if you're in control on someone else you might need to let off some or not go full speed ahead right away.

So here's the basics on vibrators.  There are all kinds of varieties like remote controls that work through the internet if you have a long distance relationship you can still play and the one can still control some of the action.  We like the wireless remotes for games outside of the bedroom that lead to bedroom fun later.  There are so many different materials and they are constantly coming up with a new one.

So let's go have some fun.  Let's make this Sexuary the one that brings toys to the bed for some amazing time together.  Take a bullet and run it over your partners entire body before as foreplay.  Take an egg and place it in him as you give him a blow job.  Use the Hitachi and make her go over the moon over and over again and then when you are ready those vibrations will still be running through her body while you enter her.  Think you won't benefit there?

What's your favorite toy?  How do you use it different than 'the norm'? 

Have a GREAT Sexuary day!


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Sexuary 2015 - Vibrators

So I remember sitting on my grandmothers sofa and pulling a red box out of the basket she kept with her crap in it.  When I opened up the box there was a white hard plastic vibrator that took 2 D-cell batteries and had a twist control on the bottom, in it.  Grandma would pull it out sometimes and rub it over her shoulder when she was tense.  In later years I did my best not to think where else that vibrator might have gone.  My mom had the very same vibrator in her top dresser drawer next to the Vaseline bottle. Todays toys are not your mamas toys.  They are made from several different materials, that have every shape and size imaginable, and some have some very specific purposes that grandma and mom never had the opportunities to enjoy.  Add to the fact that now we no longer have to go into a very seedy looking place to purchase one, the current sexually active adult has a new world in front of them when it comes to vibrators, dildos, and other devices for sexual enhancement.

Except for color exactly like grandmas and my moms

So as Sexuary 2015 officially gets underway, we’re going to be talking about these great toys.  We’re going to talk about what’s out there. It will be up to you to take that information and ask yourself how is it going to make Sexuary even better than normal?  Last year was about “Me”…seems maybe this group would of applied well back then too, but this is 2015 and sex toys aren’t just for the loaner who is playing with themselves. 

 I’ve been a huge lover of sex toys for a long time. With my first wife I would go into those seedy places and bring home a toy for her.  When I started dating Jackie we would go to the Megaplexxx and pick out a new toy to take back and try it out.  Our first one was a Beyond 2000.  It was like a rabbit, but much stronger.  The head went round and round, the center section had some rotating balls and there was a clit massager all in 1 package.  Jackie was devastated when the cover started to come apart.  But it was the start of our collection together. 

Jackie's Vibrator Collection
So since we started with a vibrator I thought we’d talk about vibrators to start with.  I generally break them down into a couple of categories – Grandmas old plastic one, the rabbit style, the plug in ones,  eggs and bullets.    Honestly we’ll probably have to do 2 parts on this, but we wanted to get started.

So let's face it, even in our high tech collection of vibrators, we have an old fashion, glow in the dark plastic vibrator.  It was Jackie's very first vibrator ever.  Honestly it's very easy to clean and you keep the batteries up to date and fresh and it runs 3/4s of forever.  But they're ridged and not flexible. So vendors added a cover on them and bingo you've got a softer version of the same vibrator (note the purple and blue ones above). The new softer ones need a bit more to keep them clean, there are crevasse you have to watch for, and I've even seen if the vibrator was left on to long that some of the rubber will melt, or be so soft that when you set them down you'll get a flat spot on them.  But I have to admit they are pretty simple to use, and even in the heat of the moment a simple twist of the bottom and you're on or off.

Sex in the City - Habit Rabbit
So then comes along Sex in the City and brings a new line of vibrators hit the drawers of women across the nation.  These high tech devices get the woman inside and out all in one swift move.

Most of these dual devices have multiple switches and controls, and there are times you need 4 hands to operate them to their full potential.   The Beyond 2000 that I purchased Jackie as our first toy together gave us hours and hours of fun. 

So let's look at these vibrators and their parts.  Most of these heads will spin or rotate, and the center section, the beads in the middle of the rabbit on the right, often time spin, and the clit vibrator is suppose to hit help achieve that orgasm that can't be achieve vaginally.  Here are a couple of things that Jackie and I have learned when checking these out.  First a lot of the cheaper ones, not necessarily less expensive, the shaft and the center sections will quit spinning with just a little bit of pressure put on them.  What does that mean?  It means that as soon as they are inserted in or any level of pressure vaginally and well, the toy becomes nothing more than a dildo.  So when you're checking them out wrap your hand around them and squeeze just a bit, if they quit spinning go on to the next one.  Second is the clit vibrator portion.  Some of these are oddly angled and even on high they barely have enough vibration to do much good.

When these first came out woman had to save a lot of grocery money to get one.  $120 - $200 was pretty normal.  Now a days you can find them starting in the $30 range and heading up from there, but anyone can afford one.  And don't think just because the price tag is huge the most important parts of the vibrator is any better, check them out when at all possible. You will find that different materials and sometimes unique designs will be a little expensive. You'll note the red one in Jackie's collection has a some different material and was a bit pricier. If you're buying online see what the return policy is if you get it and it's a total dud.

We'll end right here for today.  You have a favorite vibrator?  Share it here.  We'll be covering the eggs, bullets and fun variations along with care of your vibrator in our next  post.

So break out your vibrator and let's get Sexuary started with a ....well an orgasm of course.