Sunday, February 3, 2013

Swingers Club / Couple Swap

So Jackie and I had many years back spoken about swinging. We've actually gone as far as setting up a profile on and met a couple of couples over the years for dinner or drinks. We've enjoyed the company of 2 guys and one of them we've liked so much that we've had him in our bedroom 4 or 5 times over the last 4 years. But we've never gone all the way with another couple.

I should probably state that when we first started talking about this years ago we set several ground rules. No one local. We live in a small town and didn't need rumors. No playing without the other. This wasn't about cheating, but sharing. If either of us didn't care for someone they were out, no questions, no pressure. A free and willing mutual yes or it was by default a no. Last Jackie would make any arrangements between couples, ladies and swingers clubs and I would handle any guys.

We've fantasized about another couple for years, and we've talked about "omg if they would swing", but we've never actually met a couple that we knew would swing that we were comfortable with. So there's been several nights after a night of teasing we'd go back to our place to finish off.

We've also fantasied about going to a swingers club. Maybe you can be more of a fly on the wall until you're comfortable. Part of our concern has been that both of us are big. We both run in the mid 250's and in the swinging life style 'hwp' (height weight proportional) is a norm, and larger people are not always welcome.

So we started out by planning on going to one of these clubs. The Riverside Ranch Resort is well far away from us, and their advertisements had several appealing things in them. So we dropped them an email asking a few questions and sadly never got a response. So Jackie called them to get the information she wanted and whomever was on the other end was not very accommodating. I could tell on the phone and even more when she hung the phone up that she was not happy. They are a nudist colony that accommodate swingers, and didn't have many answers about the swinging. Ugghhhh Plan 1 out the window.

It wasn't 15 minutes after that though that we got a message from a couple 100 miles away that wanted to meet us. We thought it was a bit of fate as we rarely get messages from sls. They were interesting enough that we decided to fill the slot with a visit to them. Both Jenny and I chatted with her. Jenny chatted several times, me once for about 10-15 minutes just to get a feel. We both felt comfortable so dinner was planned.

Dinner went ok, but Tammy was very quiet. She had warned me she would be. Mich was talking and we had plenty of conversation. We had pre-arranged that we'd go back to their place if things went ok and we did.

When we got back Tammy got a little sick and I think both Jackie and I thought it was all over. But we stuck around and chatted and Tammy started feeling better and eventually we decided we would go upstairs together. We decided to start we'd go into separate rooms to get more comfortable, then we'd come together on the king bed and play some together.

It was not hot teenage, OMG I've got to have you right now sex. I didn't know Tammy well enough to know exactly what she wanted and fumbled around a bit till we got some things going. She had given me some hints when we chatted about some of her likes and I tried to oblige.

At one point I had to go into the other room to get condoms and quickly spoke with Jackie who rolled her eyes some...not a good sign.

Eventually we did come back together and we paired up with our partners. Then Jackies stomach got heartburn so bad we had decided to call it a night.

Afterwards she told me her guy would go soft every time they tried to put on a condom. So she didn't really get satisfied. I was the first time he'd try to go all the way with someone other than his wife and I"m not sure if it was anxiety or what, but it didn't work out.

So we get back to our hotel and take our showers and get into bed. I've not cum, she's not been satisfied. Not quite the situation we were hoping for. In addition Jackie is feeling bad about the situation, 'guilty'. Both Jackie and I had cheated on our previous spouses, and she told me she felt worse now then when she cheated on her ex. Now remember we have had 2 other guys join us (individually, not together), so it's not like she hasn't had other cock in her since we've been married. I asked her if she thought I was jealous or was she jealous? A little bit. She several times mentioned Michs scent was in her and she didn't like it, and when we crawled into be she took a deep whiff of me and sighed a little and said that's the scent she was wanting in her nostrils. We talked, and I calmed her down enough so she rolled over and I spooned her and we went to sleep. I think 3 or 4 years ago I would of been jealous, but I wasn't. I was sharing one of my most precious gifts as was she and I was ok. I really hated though that she didn't enjoy herself.

I'll be honest I think we went without enough spark, trying to fit it in because we'd had several failed attempts. We kind of did that with the first guy. The second was 100x better. So I don't know if we'll ever try a couple swap again. Not because I wouldn't try or want to, but because I'd never want Jackie to feel bad about anything we do. So I'll let her process and we'll talk some more about it. I'm betting her writing here will be therapeutic even and then we'll decide. We may even put in here what we decide later in the month.

So all in all day 3 was down, 25 more to go. We knew some would be hotter and more exciting than others. This just surprised me a bit that it wasn't a better experience for both of us.


Oh, I know today will be hot....ropes and clamps and feathery things Oh My! But more on that tomorrow.

Swingers club/couple swap...

The thought really had great potential for us. I was really looking forward to it. We had some success with a 3some and one person we have had back 3-4 times! So I was ready to get into the couples thing. Sure I worried all the what know what if they don't find me sexy, what if my husband lost his erection...what if they don't find him attractive ...what if what if what if... so I am not sure if I was doomed but this time I decided I was game.

We have been member of sls since 2009. We met with other couples but never played. I looked into a club or resort. I even emailed/called one resort to ask questions and they were rude about the whole thing. So I went back to sls and thats when we got a email from Tammy and Mich. We began talking. Setting up a meeting for supper. Sent a few pictures.

If there was a little spark I wanted to go for it.

We met up with the couple at an awesome restaurant ate supper I had a couple of drinks(I call it liquid encouragement)and left to go to their house. As we walked in she got sick, so we just figured we would just hang out for our beer and head back to our hotel. She began to feel better and after a couple more beers, Dane got the show started and ask her to go upstairs..Mich and I followed shortly.

We got upstairs and began to undress, and lay down. He would ask questions and caress me. He had an armpit fetish.....I really tried to get into it. Even though there were not alot of sparks...After a lot of petting and rubbing(way too hard for my liking) and him eating me out, I was just trying to get it finished with, however every time he would move into place he would go soft...I know it wasn't about me but still hurt my ego. We tried several times before he said well while they had swapped before he had not actually had intercourse with anyone just blow jobs until he came. Now I pride myself in great blow jobs...I always say a BBW HAS TO BE GOOD AT ONE THING TO MAKE THE GUYS CUM BACK..But there is nothing like a cock going in and out of my pussy! It usually gets me very excited when I am giving a blow job. It makes my pussy drip. However while I know that is part of getting worked up, I was there for sex. I wanted sex, I wanted to cum...It just wasn't going to happen. Mich got up and went and got them from the other room and they moved on the bed, Dane and I went to the floor. By this time I was so frustrated with the whole then, then I started to have the worst heartburn I have ever had, to the point I wanted to cry. I asked for us to leave. I just couldn't handle being there anymore. We dressed and left.

On the way home, I had a smell in my nose that was physically making me sick. It was not my husbands smell. It was not a dirty smell, it was a smell that was unfamiliar, a smell that I had to get off me NOW! I was ready to get back to hotel to scrub myself down. I didn't want Mich smell on me, I didn't want to remember where or how he touched me...I was in full panic mode. I don't know what rape feels like or smells like or sounds like, but in my head it almost seemed like this might be what I was turning this into. Let me be clear, I DID NOT DO ANYTHING I DIDN'T WANT TO DO OR ASKED FOR> I know I was NOT raped. However the reaction I had to this, reminded me of the stories I have heard from ladies. No reason why I would have this feeling, again its NOT what happened. I could have stopped at any moment, and I did. I also felt guilty, which is unusual because I had cheated on my ex multiple times, I had been the mistress in one relationship, and I NEVER once felt guilty or had any of the feelings that I had to deal with last night.

This is why I loved my husband, why I am glad he is so mine...all mine...he let me have these emotions, let me talk about these emotion and let me smell him over and over until I relaxed knowing his smell would and did calm me. Our communication level really rose last night, he let me know what it was OK to have my feelings, to feel what I was feeling and did NOT push me into anything but a loving strong cuddle last night. I am not sure I would have been able to do anything last night with him. Maybe I should have but I just did not feel worthy or able. 

So long story short, we met a couple, tired it, and as of this moment I am not sure we will try it again with a couple or just try to find a single female to met with. Who knows...

I do know this, I love my husband even more today that I did yesterday! I am so glad he knows my body and what I need to be excited and happy..

So we are down 3 days with 25 more to go....More hard and soft levels to push. That is what this is about. Its out of our box...but there is nothing that relieves me more than our box of love while we might be pulling a leg over the sides of the box our hearts are still right in the middle safe and secure..


  1. Wow. I really appreciate your vulnerability and honesty with this blog.

    And just so you know: most of the swinger/poly people I know (men) could not get it up/keep it up the first time they had penetration with someone other than their wife. Sometimes it happened for quite a while. A few men have a issue with it off and on. It happens all the time, and has nothing to do with the other woman.

    Throw in using a condom, which many men don't have to use with their wives, and it just further complicates it all. Their brains can mess around with being horny just like a woman.

    I hope you don't think I'm pushing you to try swinging again. That is not why I'm commenting. I can tell that it was a negative experience for you for other reasons. I just wanted to make sure you were not obsessing over the "why" of what happened. Because I'm a woman and I know how hard we can be on ourselves. You are gorgeous, sexy and fucking HOT.

    I don't think Dane would be writing all of this stuff if it weren't true.

  2. I love that you shared your story. I can relate in man ways. When my husband and I started swinging, the first couple of times were completely unsatisfactory to me. The men of the two couples we tried couldn't get hard at all. At first I felt bad, but then I was just over it. It takes "special knowledge" for my lover to make me cum anyway, and these guys just were not hitting it. Since then, we have discovered that screening is everything. We both chat with the couples, and we both must be attracted to our potential partners. If not, it's game over.

    And I have found that even if they seem great at first, sometimes you still have to say "No way in hell," and count your losses. I steer clear of anyone pushy or someone that has to use a pill to get it going. But it's almost like dating. You get a LOT of losers (you don't necessarily sleep with all of them) and eventually you find a keeper. That's the couple you can have both a friendship and a sexual relationship with.

    Hope you guys didn't get too burned on trying! If it goes well, it can be AMAZING!