Sexuary 2024 - Serious Flogging on the Cross

 So I built a St. Andrews Cross several years ago, and it's been in our bedroom since.  I've made it so Jackie is comfortable in the X and can put her chin in there, and have worked on the cuffs so that they are more comfortable for her.  Another words, anyone could use it, but it's made for Jackie to be on it. 

Purple Thor's Hammer

We don't use it all the time, but when we do, you can be assured there is some pain therapy coming her way.  Today was no different.  After strapping her to the cross and putting a spreader between her legs, I grabbed Thor, and started pounding on Jackie.  Now you feel these, but it's nothing like a cane, or paddle.  There is also a difference if you use the wide side or the ends.  I like thudding up and down Jackie using the wide side to get the blood flowing first.  From her shoulders down to just above her knees.  I'll even take a good couple of swings on her ass, not just thuds to make sure she's very present. 

After that, I pulled out one of the heavier floggers we have.  I have a dozen or so, some are like the ones shown, some longer, some shorter, some heavier, each has it's own purpose.  It's been a bit, so I used the heavier one.  It thuds but it's a bit like a board coming down on you with each thud.  It's heavy.  It doesn't sting but it can definitely take your breath away.  

I then move to 2 that are lighter, quicker, a bit more stingy without being welpy, and cutting.  With both hands I create patterns on Jackie's back  and will occasionally throw in a bit more umphf into a swing.  

When I check Jackie, she's very wet from the experience.  As I pull her over to the bed from the cross the spreader bar comes apart.  So lesson learned, check your equipment before you start.  All it needed was to have the end screwed in, and the other end was almost out too, so it was past due to be tightened up.  

So I pulled the spreader bar off and we continued for till we finished, with Jackie over the bed.  

This was nothing new for us, but it was something we learned because of Sexuary, and something we keep in our route annually, because we both enjoy it.  Every time is different, and every time we use different instruments and have slightly different results.  

By the way, don't think it's always Jackie on the cross.  Occasionally she'll put me on the cross too.  Nothing wrong with switching it up every now and then.  

Dane

Sexuary 2022 - Day 1 Flogging and...

 Sexuary 2022 is once again here and I've been busy trying to figure out our extremely busy schedule with making 2022 happen.  It wasn't an easy task but Sexuary is pretty important to us and our learning new things and pushing out limits just a bit more.  

This year I started out the day before by offering Jackie an hour long massage which she took advantage of.  We have a massage table and she got a nice relaxing moment before Sexuary officially started. 

The day started with an email from me to Jackie - 

I wanted to let you know how much I love that even though sometimes you are hesitant, or not really into some of the things we do, that you power through and generally have a great time…that you’re adventurous enough to keep me excited.  I’ve had to work Sexuary around a lot of events, so some days aren’t as exciting as others, but I know in the end, they all add up to a great month.   – 143

Please remember to send me a (or more) sexy pictures of you today….also that 1 day during the month you’ll let me know before we play that today will be an ass day (I’ll move thing around after that day and have an empty space to fill at the end).

During the day Jackie did indeed send me a couple of great pictures.  This is something I've been encouraging for a long time.  I LOVE her pictures, but she's still a bit bashful about it, but I got a couple of great pictures to drool over during the day. 

Then that night I put Jackie on the St. Andrews cross and strapped her in.  Then started with my fingernails to warm up her skin.  Then i started with the floggers  and really got the skin nice and warm.  

I then broke out the new crop.  Now this is a nice crop from Tractor Supply.  Cost less, flexes more, and a better sting than anything I've ever found at a sex shop.  The stings were perfect on her breast and side.  She could feel the wider strike and the 'whip' of the more flexible crop had that nice sting to it.  

Back to the floggers a bit more then I made Jackie cum a couple of times while in the cross.  I had even remembered to put a towel under the cross to catch the squirting orgasms.  

I then broke out the dragon tail and laid about 5 or 6 nice snaps across Jackie's back.  The red marks were beautiful.  

I finished with a bit more flogging then leaned her back and started fucking her hard while still on the cross.  We did move the adventure to the bed to finish up, but Jackie was continuously on the edge of orgasm after orgasm.  I didn't put a towel on the edge of the bed and the poor carpet paid for that. Was more than a little damp by the time we climbed into bed to finish up.  

We did finish up and Sexuary day 1 was in the books.   Day 1 we started off with an email, pictures and couple of new toys. It was a great start to Sexuary for us.

Sexuary 2021 - Recap

So as Sexuary 2021 comes to a close we have some cleaning up to do in the bedroom, some reviewing to do of all the things we experienced, and maybe start working on a mini Sexuary later in the year, or even start on ideas for next years Sexuary.  

We always have people tell us how much more experienced we are then they are.  Most of what we've done, we've done because we were willing to try something and most of the time I would go do the research on it and bring it back to Jackie.  When we started with our list of 1001 kinks never did we think 10 years later we'd still be writing about our exploits, and yet here we are.  Most everything we do we do out of curiosity.  It has a great side effect of bringing Jackie and I closer together with every new thing we try.  

Nightstand after Sexuary 2021

Let's face it, the first time you mention to your partner you're going to put them on fire, if they don't trust you there is a huge problem before you even start.  Or how about a 16 gauge needle? Or a flogger? Or a speculum? Or a sound in your urethra? Or ...or...or....you have to really get to know your partner and your partner has to really know you.  

Sexuary Daily Draws

We take what we learn from our sexuarys and incorporate them into our regular sex life.  Some things become more regular.  Some things fall away.  Some things we'll look at again in a year ....maybe by then we're ready for it...but then again, maybe we won't be. But the biggest thing is we put ourselves out there to try new things!!! We purposefully work our on relationship, and our sexual relationship every Sexuary.  It's a very conscious thing that we do every year to make sure we are not like our previous marriages.  Both of us came from failed marriages, and never wanted to have that happen again.  Sexuary has been a great exercise in making sure we don't go back there.  

So Sexuary maybe over, but it's never to late to start YOUR own Sexuary! We do it in that month of love on purpose, but anytime is the right time to go outside of your box and try something new for you and your partner in the bedroom!! We hope you'll take our blog as inspiration to try something new with your partner....hell read the blog together, get ideas and get started on your plans!!! 

Dane and Jackie
Sexuary 2021

Sexuary 2021 - The Spanking Bench

Ok, I'm not going to lie, the idea of someone on my spanking bench, open and available for my inflicting pain is oddly intoxicating. It will make my dick hard as a rock just thinking about it, so you can imagine my day knowing that this was in my near future...the anticipation was near impossible. 

"It's a very paincentric evening" I warned Jackie.  It's only fair to give her a heads up with all I had in mind.

First we had made out a bit in the living room, just enough to get Jackie her first orgasm, and in a very good place to start.  Let's face it pain is a 2 edge sword, not enough or to much pain becomes just pain, but that right amount of pain become pure pleasure.  Being warmed up prior only makes it easier to make the pain go the right direction...gives you a bigger zone to hit. When we walked into the room I let her know that the school paddles were still in the drawer and would not be used tonight.  I knew this would put her mind at ease some that the 1 thing that can take her to a bad place quickly was not going to be used tonight. 

I placed Jackie on the spanking bench and started with some stroking her back with my finger nails.  It brings the blood to the surface and makes it better for that what is coming.  I check her, and she's very wet already, and I can quickly bring her to another orgasm.  Then I really started.  

First a couple of swats with a riding crop, then I took one of the 2 new floggers we inherited and laid into her a couple of good times.  This one is wider straps, heavier, and definitely a thudder. It's not much of a stinger but is a good warm up.  

Then I broke out one of the whipping cane.  Three swats on the right cheek that definitely left 3 nice whelps.  They are beautiful raised on Jackies ass cheeks. 

Again I check Jackie out, while thrusting I swatted her left ass cheek good and hard.  She jumped as my hand left it's print in her lovely skin.  She came hard and I moved on. 

The next flogger is The Grand Emperor from Flogmebaby.com. It's long tines give a great stinging swat with it's 32" straps.  Her back started to show signs of the abuse it was receiving.... lines raised in her back and when I ran my fingers over her now she definitely arched her back.  

Now her left cheek received the swatting of the 3 swats of cane.  Oh the delicious whelps that started to raise were beautiful.  She was so wet as I slid back into her and brought her to another orgasm.  They are almost coming easier now.  I took the handle to the Grand Emperor and slid it in Jackie and brought her off once more.  

Her right cheek received the smack of my hand, leaving a beautifully raised hand print.   

With both ass cheeks with hand prints, and both with 3 marks each from the cane I brought out the 1 thing Jackie had asked me to try this month, the new yellow flogger we inherited.  One strike of that and it was a quick 'no'.  Later she said it felt like a baseball bat hitting her, and it left 4 square marks on her back where they hit, and honestly I was barely swinging.  I can't imagine if I had gone even 60-70%.  

We moved to the bed and with all the excitement I quickly finished up.  I lost count of the number of orgasms Jackie had in the process. Her pain/pleasure sensors were on overdrive tonight.

Now when we were done I made sure to put some lotions on the marks.  Remember when you do something as traumatic as this scene can be, you need to make sure there is some aftercare.  

If you're interested in the spanking benches, floggers, caning, or any other paincentric activity, please feel free to reach out to Jackie or I for more information. 

Dane

 

Sexuary 2019 - Flogging

There is a part of us that recognize pain as a pleasurable thing.  I think we've all experienced this at some time or another.  There are those who have learn, accepted, or maybe they are just wired a bit different, that find pain, a great deal of pain, as pleasurable.  In the tool bag of those who inflict pain are floggers.

We own 4 of them.

Over the last year we've played with the floggers more and more.  I was introduced to a Flogging for Therapy class that has changed how we look at floggers.

For those who haven't figured out, Jackie isn't exactly into pain, and until recently really didn't want any activity that would leave a welp or mark (ok, hickies excluded).   But the more and more we've played with the floggers the more and more she's enjoyed them.

Now we participate with a group at Renaissance Faire that keeps a St Andrews cross up and we flog for pain.  Yes, those who were coming through were wanting to be beaten.  They wanted welps.  They wanted to find where that pain threshold was at.  To be honest, some need to find a limit, and if the floggers didn't have more sense then they did a visit to the doctors would be needed.

But that's not what we do.  Our flogging is firm but not brutal.  A 15 minute session with a flogger or two is the same as an hour on the massage table.  I can walk up and down the from her shoulders to her thighs.  I'll spend extra attention on the fleshier areas.  In the end Jackie is extremely relaxed (there are times she'll sleep for up to 12 hours).  Some times she'll be tied up a bit, sometimes she'll just lean over the bed or up on the St Andrews cross and ask for me to flog her...NOW!  Who am I to turn her down?  

So it really is personal preference, but floggers don't have to be about welps and all painful.

Now what about the floggers?  Floggers have a couple of different features.  A couple of things you look for in a flogger?

1) The length of the tails.  We have from 12" - 24" tails on ours. The longer the tails the more snap you can get at the end.
2) The thud/sting factor.  This is based on several factors on the flogger but some people like more sting, some want more of a thud.  Jackie is more of a thudder.
3) The material it's made of.  Ok, this effects the 2nd one too..but some are softer (fur material, suede for example).  Some are firmer and definitely not soft. Good bull hide for example.
4)  Weight...I like a good mid weight flogger.  I've used ones that are to heavy and you can't get a good swing on them.  To light and you can't get a good pounding.
5) The handle is really the last of it.  Some are multipurpose like the Emperor Flogger I have on the left.  But the handle needs to be a good fit for your hand and something you can hold onto while you're swinging it.  You'll notice the 2 middle floggers are generally the same except the one handle is bigger.  I prefer the smaller handles.  But everyone is different, so try handles of different floggers as you see them.

Now the bonus.  Unpaid, unsolicited, we LOVE flogmebaby.com for a good flogger. It's not the same as a one handmade, but their prices are extremely reasonable.  We have a friend that makes floggers, even he was impressed with the quality, especially for the price.  So give them a look up and pick a flogger for your place.

Dane