Sexuary 2023 - Thursday Throat Day

 Keeping with our day of the week theme, Thursdays are for throat play.  If you'll remember last week we tried, for the time, a full blackout choke after several times of breath play. 

I wasn't sure exactly what Jackie had thought, but knew it seemed to take her to a good place when we did it.  So this time I change things up just a little bit.  I got one of her favorite toys, Lucy, and had her start with that as I started with tonight's breath play. I would wait till I would feel her starting to orgasm when I would start the breath play.  It seemed to make it even more intense.  The first time, I had to count out from 45 to 60 so that Jackie wouldn't panic, but after that she was good with the 60 second count I do each time.  It always seems that first time is longer than it is.  

From my perceptive it seemed to make her even more excited and the orgasms came faster and faster. 

After several times of breath play I asked Jackie if she wanted to black out again.  She did, and so with Lucy in her hand to let me know when she went out, I choked her to a full black out.  She was very slow coming out of it, she remained in la la land for a good bit.  

Prior to starting I had already decided I was going to let her stay in that subspace as long as she could.  I did slide out from behind her and laid her down, laid up against her and covered her up with a blanket.  We laid there for about 30 minutes before she truly started coming fully out of subspace.  

One thing to remember, ANY time there is anything traumatic, extreme, or just exhausting, the bottom needs aftercare.  They are often times cold and a blanket, and your body warmth feel fantastic. Don't try to have a conversation with them unless they are talking to you first.  Just be there for them.  A piece of chocolate is a good thing to give them a bit of energy.  There is no time limit for them to come back to their sense fully.  For Jackie it's normally 10-30 minutes, but we had one time it was almost 12 hours before she was fully back to her senses.  It's ok, just make sure they are monitored and ok.  She also likes a weighted blanket, makes her feel secure. 

Dane 

Sexuary 2023 - Choking again

So during TKF we learned a way to choke that will within about 5 -10 seconds send a person out cold.  It's a bit scary, especially at first, but it's been added to our toolbox of things to try.

I spoke with Jackie before we started.  It was her call, but I wanted to continue to push her.  I really wanted to make her black out, and I wanted to work on her breath play too.  

Normally I lay beside Jackie when we do choking/breath play, but tonight I sat behind Jackie in the bed.  She wanted to make sure if she blacked out, that I would be able to hold her up.  

We started with breath play.  This month we've been working on Jackie controlling her reaction when she gets to the end of her limit.  In the past she would swat at me and try to pull my hand off, or something of the sort.  Now she can tap my hand or let me know.  If I'm close to my count I'll start to softly count out loud so Jackie knows how much longer we have and she'll hold tight and let me finish.  We're up over a minute. 

Now what does Jackie get out of this?  She gets a head rush that is incredible.  She goes to a space that is very peaceful and comforting.  

After playing 3 times with breath play, Jackie decided to allow me to black her out one time.  So I did.  She slowly came back too, and again she was in a very peaceful place.  

When we were done we laid there for a long time as Jackie drifted in and out of subspace. 

May you find the way to get in and out of subspace, it's a great place and only those willing to live on the edge will find that kind of space. 

Dane
 

Sexuary 2023 - Choking

Over the last year or so Jackie and I have delved into choking and breath play as part of our sex life. It's different for us, and the rush to Jackie's brain when the blood and air start to flow puts her into a very special place we can't achieve otherwise. 

Mind you we are careful, I'm always counting and knowing where she is, and while we've pushed her, shes never blacked out while playing.  

 

In the past though she would panic at times, making it more difficult especially when we were doing breath play.  So tonight I calmly told Jackie I wanted her to focus on staying calm...fade if she could... but not to panic.  

There are times I hold her jugglers and count, and then when I release after about a 30 count, the blood will rush back into her head.  Normally there is no panicking when I do that. It's when I hold her nose closed with one hand and cover her mouth with the other that she sometimes panic.  But I asked her to just hang with me.  If she had to tap my hand.  If I was very close to where I wanted to be I would count out loud for her so she knew there would only be a could of seconds left. 

 

In the past we've worked up to a count of about 45, but I knew if I could keep Jackie calm she'd go much longer.  The longer the hold, the bigger the rush afterwards.  The first time after talking and calming her we made it to 60 seconds without any problems.  On the second attempt at about 54 seconds she tapped my hand and I counted out 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and then let her breath and she held with me.  The third and final time I could tell about the same place she was about to panic but she held it to the full 60 count.  

 

After each time I whispered words of affirmation on how well she was doing. She was into such a space we had to pause for a few minutes to let her come back to earth before moving on.  

 

It's different.  It's not for everyone, but it is something we enjoy, and the thought of Jackie just fading out for a minute is extremely exciting for me personally.  

Dane

Sexuary 2021 - Choking

 

 

This is something we've started since Sexuary 2020.  During last years Sexuary I broached the subject with Jackie.  We are always looking for something new, and when we push our limits it's always something we discuss.  So during Sexuary 2020 I gave Jackie the choice, and at the time she asked that we not do it that night, but to think about.  During the year we've slowly introduced it to our bag of sexual adventures.  So Sexuary 2021 comes around and of course it gets put on the list. 

So as we start I gently apply pressure to her arteries on each side of her throat, limiting blood flow to her brain, which adds to her high.  This is our primary source of 'choking' that we do.  I will wrap my hand around her throat and tighten ...just as I do tonight, constricting her breath flow.  On both of these you have to be careful. 

If you hold the arteries to long you can literally cause brain damage.  If you press to hard on the throat constricting air flow you can snap the esophagus, or cause death from suffocation.   Mind you there are 700 deaths a year attributed to this type of play, so before you do it make sure you're very educated and EVERYONE is ok with it.   

Both types of choking will cause a high.  Jackie struggled at first with 'how can something so dangerous/wrong put me in such a good place?  It will send Jackie into a subspace when we play like this.  

Looking for something over the edge? Choking might be for you and your partner.  But like so many of the kinks we try, make sure you are well educated before you try it.  

Dane

PS, have you spun the wheel and treated your partner to some surprise play?  What are you waiting for?

Sexuary 2020 - Choking / Erotic Asphyxiation

 

We know it's not Sexuary, but that doesn't deter our desire to keep learning. During our planning of Sexuary 2020, one of the things I had come up with was choking aka Erotic Asphyxiation or EA for short.  Remember 2020 was the year that Jackie didn't know what was coming before it happened.  We just did it.  But the day that choking was on the calendar I decided I needed to talk to her first.  This isn't your ordinary kink, there are even more potential hazards then normal involved.  So I decided to let her know and see what she thought.  Her response was to pass on it that night, but to keep it around and let's try it another day.  

 Well we have since tried it a couple of times.  We have never gotten to the point that Jackie has passed out, but we have definitely constricted air flow and also blood flow.  She will go into a hyper sensitive mode, and while she won't fight me on it, she will fight herself.  "How can something I know is so wrong feel so good?" is her comment.  It will send her entire body on red alert and my touch will send her over the edge time and time again. 

Now as always I did lots of research, after all I didn't want to hurt Jackie permanently. Websites like Healthline and  askmen were where I started.  I also recommend watching the safety video at sexplations or watts the safe word.  I watched several others, but this will get you the general Idea.  Education is key here as you literally have the life of someone in your hand.

Now our play is more cutting blood flow to the brain with holding her arteries.  We have also restricted air flow by choking, but the after effects were a little longer lasting than we desired.  The blood flow to the brain restriction is just as good, and the rush when the flow resumes is powerful. Jackies orgasms during this play are extremely powerful and plentiful.  And while it's not something we'll use all the time, it is definitely in our bucket of tools to use when we want to take orgasms up a notch in the future. 

Dane