Wow, how to you come up with a 28 day calendar of sex? If you do it right you spend 45 days 'pondering' it with a lot of time in bed because you've gotten yourself all excited thinking about Sexuary! Seriously the 2 of us started in November talking about what we were going to do and how we were going to do it. Now it got more serious about mid December and really serious in January but that's how we roll.
We started out by a heads up that Christine was thinking of doing "fetishes" was going to be a theme of sorts. Now Jackie and I are no strangers to fetishes. I would love to have my ass fisted and Jackie loves soft touches and has a drawer full of toys that we use all the time to enhance our experiences. So this was an opportunity for us to push our envelope. Try some things we wanted to try and have a one time trial run for things that were on our fringe. Challenge accepted!
So I went to a couple of sites that listed fetishes. Google was great about this and I came up with over 500 fetishes. Ok some of them aren't going to happen. Apotemnophilia (having an amputation) isn't going to happen for us. Nor Necrophilia, nor many others. So I went through and deleted any of the ones I wasn't comfortable with or that I knew were impossible. Then I gave the list to Jackie and she removed all the ones she wasn't comfortable with. There, only 150 fetishes to choose from. :)
So after that we talked about the remaining 150 items. Now many of these can be combined for a great sexperience. Like the first post mentioned we combined shaving and water play. So Dane set out to create a 28 day calendar with everything they wanted. Once done Jackie asked for changes to be made and then and viola a plan is made.
Now this took us WEEKS to do. In it we had nights that Jackie would clam up. It was overwhelming to her, and who could blame her. Over 500 ways to have sex and 28 straight days that's a lot to wrap your pussy around. Several nights we'd talk about some of the fetishes. Some were obviously easier than others. We already shave, so that was a give me, but she doesn't let me shave her normally, so that's a bit out of her box and something I wanted to do. Spanking, not so easy. I want to both spank her ass red and have mine spanked. I'm not talking love taps, but spankings. So we worked through it and she gave this one to me. I want to be fisted, she loves to wear a strap on, We've never been able to get either the dildo fist or her fist in me, and after reading we realize we probably needed several days of her working on my ass to open it up. Done! She gets 5 days of strapping on her cock and fucking me raw, and hopefully by the end of it I'll have a fist in my ass for once. But it was a process. An honest, open discussion many many nights. And judgmental? No way!
Look fantasies and desires to try fetishes are a personal thing. They are real, regardless of what society might think. It's not like you can just toss what you like. You can pretend, but if you're honest they are still there. And this is your partner, the person you're suppose to love. If they want to dress up like a bear and have sex, it's not my thing, but I would try it for their sake. Over the next month you'll read about several attempts we've had at figuring out what we like and don't like, and some of them might not be your cup of tea, and that's ok with us. Some of yours aren't our cup of tea. But that's ok too.
So we narrow it down to our 28 days. A daily description of what we are going to try. Next comes probably the most fun we've had so far, shopping for all we need. Speculums, gates of hell, clothes pins, soft clothes, a boa, massage oils, and several other things were on that list that we'd need. In additional we wanted to find a place for on premise swinging and invite one of our friends over to take pictures and have a night of fun together. Lots of planning and shopping.
Oh my, little did I realize how turned on some of this would get Jackie and I, and we had a fantastic weekend gathering all we needed and an incredible weekend of hotel sex that was off the charts. Just the thoughts of what we were planning on kept Jackie wet all weekend, and she got aggressive and HOT! I reaped the benefits and it wasn't even Sexuary yet!
So there we are, a calendar with daily descriptions of what is cumming, I mean coming and we take it one day at a time. Oh for the record we did set some guidelines. Either one of us can call off a day because it just can't happen. For instance if on day 4 my ass just can't handle another fucking, then we have 3 plan B's to fill in. We have safe words. One for "Ok, you're at my limit, no more than what you're doing now" and one for "Stop right now". These are just good practice and especially if you're going into something new we highly recommend it.
PS - Today is dressing provocatively and teasing for Jackie. I'll be rock hard most of the day thinking about her strip tease tonight (see combining fetishes that go together), and I'm sure I'll dump a load of cum by the end of the day, I know this because I know how good Jackie is at teasing me when she wants to. When was the last time you teased your partner and lead them up to a great sexperience? Well what are you waiting for?
Planning this crazy month for us...
Dane had been after me since November to look at this list to narrow it down. I did look at it...My first instinct was cross them all off...I wasnt going to do anything...forget it! This was all his doing not mine...So I put it away...I didnt look at it all during December and really not until the first week of January. I then had to do alot of breathing because my first impulse was again mark it all out..but I knew that Dane really wanted my input, he wanted me to have a part. He wanted to know my dreams, my fantasies, what I wanted. I didnt/dont know what I wanted how the heck was I supposed to tell him??? So on the 4th time looking at the list, I decided my mind frame would be let me be willing to be willing...I knew a few things that he liked, and I knew a few things I DID NOT like, so I took out the things that were in my "Red Zone" that there was NO way I would go there...I knocked off probably 30 on that round. I slowly went through the list and paired stuff down. I sent him the list and told him to make the calendar. I also questioned if there was anything on the list that he had kept and I took off, there was only ONE thing that he left on and took off.
Now let me tell you this calendar really has pushed my limits, both hard and soft limits. He has wanted to talk about it a lot! I did not want to talk to him at all about it. I made my list why talk. UGG I don't know how many nights I would get flustered over him asking me questions..I would just totally shut down, cry and just did not understand the emotions that were happening. I didn't want to talk about the emotions either. I really had to work on my attitude on the whole thing. The more he wanted to talk about it the more I didn't. I am telling you I really had to watch my whole deminer when he came to ask me questions about stuff. It has certainly been a month where his excitement level has been way up because of the planning.
The planning of the calendar has been an event in itself. What can I say, I have balked at it and not wanted it to be talked about but once it was done and I looked over it and made my own suggestions, WE had it done...geezz 28 days! Are we nuts? Are we crazy? Have we bitten off more than we can chew? I have to be honest, I cant think about the calendar as a whole...I can only handle one day at time and I told Dane that. I had to tell him I couldnt get excited about the calender as a whole, there was just too much to wrap my brain around. My personality seems split on the whole thing so I just am looking day by day...In fact even today as I read what the calendar says I swear he added stuff to calendar since I don't remember seeing part of it. Its like my brain just could not absorb everything.
The weekend we got to go shopping for the items we were lacking for the month was a great weekend. I am not sure if was the shopping or the fact that we had not had a lot of "quality" time with each other due to Dane's new job where he is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or if it was a combination of both. What ever it was he was pretty excited when he got it several days in a row because I was just in that kind of mood. And that does not happen often. We had some pretty raw, hot and heavy sex that weekend. I hope we did not disturb our neighbors at the hotel we were at. There was no doubt that they could hear us through the walls....
I know we are now on day 2 of our calendar and I still have my issues. I also know that the whole idea behind this calendar is to push our limits. To see if we could find some new things that we both enjoy. We already knew somethings but we needed to learn more we so we could get out of our "plain sex' box...you know that rut you get into...well we have been in a rut and sexuary really helps push us out of the rut. When we started this 3 years ago it was really really did I mention really hard to try 7 days in a row (nope we made it either 5 or 6) then last year was every other day. We made most of that...it even up being on even days I believe and he got 14 days worth. So this year we decided to "join the band wagon" we wanted our own 28 days t-shirts...maybe even stand on the staircase with the rocky theme playing at the end....
Here is what we do know, we have done what we wanted to do. We want to encourage others to have a sensual sexuary too! We dont care what you do just do something! If you arent doing anything with your partner just do something...Hold hands, go to the movies, kiss at the red light, anything...Make some goals and make them happen! Lets all celebrate the end of the month and know you did it! Who is with us??
Now off to find something to wear that Dane hasn't seen me in a while...I am thinking something purple...oh I get to tease him all day too...wonder what I will do...I have my plans...he just doesn't know them yet....evil grin and laugh...