It's December already and we haven't even started planning for 2016 Sexuary!!! OMG what happened to this year. Normally we start November 1st coming up with a topic for the following year. So you know what that means right? It means we'll be starting our annual discussion on what does Sexuary (our annual adventure to make sure our sexual relationship is as strong as the rest of our relationship during the month of February). So what does that mean to Jackie and I? Well first that generally means we get to 'discuss' multiple times as to where we are. That discussion can, and often does, lead to some great ...hmmmm.... practice sessions to see if we're really there. Then there is the communicating via pillow talk, emails and texting, that can get rather exciting at times, about all the possibilities for the upcoming Sexuary that can lead to more sessions. Finally there is the narrowing down of the list to those things we are going to do. Some of those talks can get so hot that we can't finish until we've had another 'discussion'. Last once we have our list together, maybe even make a calendar, of what/when we are going to do things we start to make arrangements. That might mean going shopping for toys, or going online and finding items we might need to make Sexuary all we are hoping for. We've found if we have everything prior to Sexuary it's more likely to happen.
Then Sexuary, I mean February 1 comes and we start celebrating.
One year that was trying to have sex for 1 week in a row (we failed that year, we could make it to 6 days, but just not 7). We shot for every other day 1 year, and we probably had sex 14 times even if it wasn't every other day. One year that meant 28 days of fetishes, with each day being something different. We both almost died but we succeeded. Last year because of family health issues (not Jackie or I, but Jackie was taking care of a family member with cancer), we cut that back because Jackie was gone every other week for the week. So that's where the 'where you are' comes in.
Talking to friends, it could be that you have sex 4 times in the month and that's a huge advancement over your current sexual status. In some cases it would be to break a year long spell and have sex during Sexuary. Maybe it's that you and your significant other just need to do massages a couple of times during that month and that's progress. It really all depends on where you are starting from as to what success would be. But the discussions leading up to it and the actual conscientious focus on your sexual relationship is the goal for Sexuary.
So let's get started and start talking about Sexuary 2016!!! I'm ready, let's go!!!
Dane
PS - Sexuary for Jackie and I started by reading a friend of ours blog Welcome To My Brain by Christine Moers. Her profound words about sex in a relationship were so powerful Jackie and I not only started participating in Sexuary, we started this blog. She made the comment that we tell people to be celibate until they are married (committed relationship). BUT we forget to tell them it's not only okay, but desired to have a healthy sex life once you're in that relationship. It's the gift of being in such a relationship!!! Scientifically it brings you closer to your significant other. It creates desire to be with them. It makes you willing to put up with the daily grind of life within the relationship, because of the intimacy. So Sexuary exist for that and so much more. Sexuary is Jackie and my gift to each other every year.
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