So this Sexuary Jackie and I have talked about a few things. Because of family health issues Jackie will only be around about 1/2 the month, so Sexuary 2014 will not be repeated, and no 28 days of kink that Sexuary 2013 was. So we've struggled a bit with what to do. The theme from www.welcometomybrain.net is "me" which has been a bit more appropriate than expected with Jackie being gone taking care of her mom.
But we have talked, and in our discussions Jackie wanted more 'touch' days. Last year we did a scene where I blindfolded Jackie and then used her sense of touch to create a very erotic scene (read here). It was a very good scene for us and one we've repeated with variations several times over the year. That sense of touch is very powerful, especially when it's unexpected.
So one of the things Jackie and I will be working on this month is touching. Different places..... different textures...... different temperatures....... different positions while touching ...all working on the sensation that just allows you to feel.
For the first day of Sexuary I happened to be up with her. The kids were gone so I made the trip and got us a hotel room. When coming out of the shower I noticed the bottle of lotion. I snagged it and brought it to the bed without her noticing it. So when we started playing I used it to give her a mini massage. When I went to enter her I went a way I rarely go and it gave a different feeling for both of us. By the spot in the bed and the muffled screams from Jackie I'd say it was a success.
Oh I have plans for several other days of touching this month. Pieces of soft material, ice, candles, clothes pins, maybe even a paddle or two. All very different sensations, all very happy results when it comes to our bedroom. But most take a few minutes of planning to pull them off. I know Jackie deserves that from me, doesn't your partner deserve that from you?
Hope Sexuary is going well for you! Do something different. Do something out of your box. Do something that will surprise the hell out of your partner and make a memory.
Dane
PS - for me, I've purchased a few toys that I can't wait for Jackie to use on me. Oh my shuddering just thinking about them.
Showing posts with label Sexuary 2014. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexuary 2014. Show all posts
Friday, February 7, 2014
Saturday, February 1, 2014
One for "Me"
So as we start out Sexuary I want to put out there one of the 'me' things that I've come to grips with. I'm male, and I love anal. Yes I love giving anal, and the feel of taking Jackie for a 'backyard BBQ' will send me over the top every time, but that's not what I'm talking about. I've allowed myself to admit that having something up my ass is ....exhilarating....breath taking...multi-orgasmic....unfucking believable.
Over the last year or so I've over come the negatives of a man wanting something anal. Let's face it, most guys would just tell you they're not 'gay' and 'don't touch my ass, that's gay'. HA! The joke is on them. They have no clue what it means to have their prostate rubbed from the inside.
I don't remember exactly how it started with Jackie and I. I know I've always had some interest in anal play, but normally I left that for me getting to claim the woman. But I remember once while Jackie was playing she hit my perineum (that little pea size ball between your sack and the base of your cock) and I came so hard it wasn't even funny. I'd never experienced anything like that. It wasn't long after that we were playing and she fingered my ass and found my prostate for the first time. I think it's the first time I've ever said that was enough. I had multiple orgasms that were so intense I thought I was going to pass out if she didn't stop. I was sold on anal play from that moment on. But there was still a naggling tug that it wasn't right. It was wrong for me to like anal.
So last Sexuary we went to an extreme. If possible, and honestly after a couple of test runs we honestly weren't sure, I wanted to be fisted. We had purchased a life size hand dildo and an anal plug that was every bit as round as the hand but had never gotten either of them inside of me. During Sexuary I was determined that if it could happen I was going to feel that fullness from fisting. Jackie said I had to mentally let go first. I'm not sure how much of that is true, but she's probably right, mentally I had to let that hand slip into my ass before it would physically go in.
Almost every day for a week Jackie attempted to fist me...then on that wonderful day it made it past the barriers and I was once again in heaven. It was heaven, with the added benefit of afterwards for hours my whole body had a calm, peaceful, unbelievable feeling of tranquility. It took us a couple more months and Jackie was actually able to get her fist (definitely a bit larger than the dildo, though not toooo much), inside of me. A real fisting with a real hand. A new level reached. A new level of peace.
So where am I going here? Well it's about 'me'. You see if I listened to everyone else I probably never would of tried all the anal I have. Without it I never would have had the best orgasms of my life! Nothing has ever made me cum harder or more often than anal. I've been blessed to have a wife that will indulge me in my 'kink'. It's not her thing, but she knows that I need things and this is one she does for 'me'. Ok, I think it's a bit more her thing now then when we started, but it will never be 'her' thing.
So what's your thing? What is that one thing you have wanted for yourself that maybe you were afraid to ask about? Or something you like but never get? It doesn't have to be sexual, maybe it's an hour to yourself to meditate or work out at the gym. Maybe it's a book you've always wanted to read. For me, it's some fun sex things. ;) Why would those other things be part of Sexuary? If you can't feel good about yourself, if you can't do the things you want, if you can't be happy where you are, then there is no way you can be happy with a mate, with your children, with yourself. I know I'm more relaxed and more satisfied now that I've allowed myself this.
Dane
PS, want more on Sexuary 2014? Head to www.welcometomybrain.net
Over the last year or so I've over come the negatives of a man wanting something anal. Let's face it, most guys would just tell you they're not 'gay' and 'don't touch my ass, that's gay'. HA! The joke is on them. They have no clue what it means to have their prostate rubbed from the inside.
I don't remember exactly how it started with Jackie and I. I know I've always had some interest in anal play, but normally I left that for me getting to claim the woman. But I remember once while Jackie was playing she hit my perineum (that little pea size ball between your sack and the base of your cock) and I came so hard it wasn't even funny. I'd never experienced anything like that. It wasn't long after that we were playing and she fingered my ass and found my prostate for the first time. I think it's the first time I've ever said that was enough. I had multiple orgasms that were so intense I thought I was going to pass out if she didn't stop. I was sold on anal play from that moment on. But there was still a naggling tug that it wasn't right. It was wrong for me to like anal.
So last Sexuary we went to an extreme. If possible, and honestly after a couple of test runs we honestly weren't sure, I wanted to be fisted. We had purchased a life size hand dildo and an anal plug that was every bit as round as the hand but had never gotten either of them inside of me. During Sexuary I was determined that if it could happen I was going to feel that fullness from fisting. Jackie said I had to mentally let go first. I'm not sure how much of that is true, but she's probably right, mentally I had to let that hand slip into my ass before it would physically go in.
Almost every day for a week Jackie attempted to fist me...then on that wonderful day it made it past the barriers and I was once again in heaven. It was heaven, with the added benefit of afterwards for hours my whole body had a calm, peaceful, unbelievable feeling of tranquility. It took us a couple more months and Jackie was actually able to get her fist (definitely a bit larger than the dildo, though not toooo much), inside of me. A real fisting with a real hand. A new level reached. A new level of peace.
So where am I going here? Well it's about 'me'. You see if I listened to everyone else I probably never would of tried all the anal I have. Without it I never would have had the best orgasms of my life! Nothing has ever made me cum harder or more often than anal. I've been blessed to have a wife that will indulge me in my 'kink'. It's not her thing, but she knows that I need things and this is one she does for 'me'. Ok, I think it's a bit more her thing now then when we started, but it will never be 'her' thing.
So what's your thing? What is that one thing you have wanted for yourself that maybe you were afraid to ask about? Or something you like but never get? It doesn't have to be sexual, maybe it's an hour to yourself to meditate or work out at the gym. Maybe it's a book you've always wanted to read. For me, it's some fun sex things. ;) Why would those other things be part of Sexuary? If you can't feel good about yourself, if you can't do the things you want, if you can't be happy where you are, then there is no way you can be happy with a mate, with your children, with yourself. I know I'm more relaxed and more satisfied now that I've allowed myself this.
Dane
PS, want more on Sexuary 2014? Head to www.welcometomybrain.net
Friday, January 24, 2014
Sexuary 2014
So the start to Sexuary 2014 is here. It's to be the last official Sexuary for welcometomybrain.net and Christine has posted the theme and thoughts for this years Sexuary. You can read her blog post here.
I'm struggling here a bit to be honest. I've been thinking about it. "me" is where I started my sexual journey as most young boys do. "me" is the selfishness inside that says "hey, what about me?" "me" is the thing I've tried to let go of over the last 10 years as Jackie and I have struggled through the ups and downs of our relationship, especially our sex lives. There is no doubt even though I'm almost 10 years senior to Jackie, my sexuality is far more open, for more outreaching, and honestly can be far more selfish than hers. My kinko meter barely registers when hers is off the scale. My sexual wants are 100x what hers is. I would say I was born 10 years to late, but not even the 60's would fit me properly. Maybe I was born 20-30 years to early, ahead of the times with some of the things that reel me in and turn me on.
And don't get me wrong, Jackie is no prude. Hell a 'normal' wife would of just called me a pervert and kicked me out. Anyone reading this blog knows that what Jackie and I have done just over the last year is more that most couples would do in a lifetime together, and that's just what we've told you about.
And yet...........
......There is parts of me that I have boxed up, strapped with duct tape, bound with chains and thrown away the keys to keep sanity at hand. Oh they are there. I hear them pounding in the cellars deep below. They echo up the stairwell calling out to be release at times. Periodically I let Jackie glimpse into the cellar, though rarely does the corner of a box get opened. She knows those boxes lay down there, it's not a secret, but still I do my best to ignore them.
When life gets in the way, selfishness of 'me' comes boiling up and screams in my head. It happens. Just this month due to circumstance well beyond anyone's control it has been screaming. Oh the arguments they scream. It's even easy to believe them at times.
And again.....
.....I've learned that there HAS to be 'me' in or there can not be an 'us'. While the sum of the 2 can far out 'be' what the individual parts can 'be', when the individuals are on full power....and while one of a pair can sometimes pull the other out of a funk, remind them when their self vision is being clouded by life or the current situation...nothing but nothing can cure 'me' like me! If I don't take care of myself, physically, mentally, and even making sure my sexual needs are met, there is no way I can be healthy.
I've learned that sometimes I need time to myself. Sometimes that's not just a couple of hours, but a couple of days. And it's ok to need and take that time.
I've learned that I can ask Jackie to consider to go through the dusty boxes and find something she'd be willing to consider, just because 'me' needs some special care. Those boxes are who I am, and THAT'S OK! Jackie can always say no, though more than likely she'll just alter it enough to be comfortable if she needs to, but even she's come to realize that is who I am, and it's ok to be me!
I've learned that if my BP is 180/100 or my blood sugar is 380 then I can't be my best at anything. And that while 'working out' isn't my thing, the benefits of just 3 days a week on a treadmill is me showing love for myself as my BP drops to 120/80 and my blood sugar drops to 110. It's a love that 'me' can only give myself. No one else can give it to me.
So what's my goals for Sexuary 2014, the year of 'me'? I don't know to be honest. I've spent a lot of time on 'me' over the years, so I'll have to dig deep to come up with something. I've still got a week left, so I'm sure I'll figure out something, but it's going to be a bit of a struggle..after all when you talk about 'me' you have to be honest with yourself or you're just blowing smoke up everyone's (and your own) ass. Which might be ok if that's your kink, but thinking for Sexuary it's not exactly what was intended. Stay tuned ...answers to come.
Dane
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sexuary Summary
So I'm setting here, Jackie just left a bit ago for her training and I'll have 3 days by myself. No kids, no wife, just myself. So I thought it might be a good time to reflect a bit on what Sexuary meant to me. I'm sure when Jackie gets back she'll put in her two cents worth too.
Let me start by saying this is year three for Jackie and I to 'celebrate' Sexuary. The first year we wanted to try to have sex 7 straight days. It didn't happen. Then came last year. We were in a better place, but 7 days in a row was a lot to ask still, so we went for every other day on even days. While we didn't exactly succeed we did much better, though by the end we were really struggling. I really mean it was a struggle for us to have sex one more time. ugghhhh
You know we've done a lot of soul searching and working in our marriage over the last 3 or 4 years. We've a lot learned about each other and what makes the other one tick. We've learned to compromise, though as you've read this month we still struggle through some every day issues in communicating those compromises. We have really focused on being better individuals so that we can be a better couple. And we've made time for ourselves as a couple regardless of what 'disaster of the moment' is going on outside of our bedroom door.
I know that sex does not resonate near as high on the 'got to have it' scale for Jackie as it does on mine. Yet I also know that she can get just as excited about it as I can be once we're there. It's getting her out of her head and the other things going on to get her there that is the issue. She's come a long way working on that over the last 3 years. She now realizes how important it is to me to be that intimate with her and has gone out of her way, even when I'm being an ass, to make sure I get that time with her. I know she has to struggle sometimes over that, hell I would.
Jackie says all she ever has to do to get me in the mood is take off her shirt and I'm ready. Makes it difficult at night where we're getting ready for bed, cause I really do find my wife that attractive and that fun to be around. Her kisses will set me off. Her caress will definitely excite me. And just the site of her in the shower gets me excited. She's hot and sexy and she's mine and I love it.
So this year we decided to try a 28 day trek. Not an easy task. We know the Moers and know they had struggles last year with their 31 days. Days they'd of preferred hall sex (you know as you pass each other in the hall you say "fuck you") then to have bedroom sex. And these are people we look up to and respect, so how mere mortals like ourselves going to stand a chance to succeed?
So back in November, yes 3 months before Sexuary started, we started talking about this all. It wasn't all pretty. My 'box' of what I'm willing to try is huge compared to the average person. Basically if I haven't tried it and dislike it I'm willing to try it. Don't know if I'll like it, but I'll try it. And there are things I'll try just because the other person I'm with wants to try. VERY few hard limits. Jackies box is more of a 'normal' box. Don't get me wrong, she tried a lot of things this month not in her box, but I know she struggled with several of them, but if it weren't for me pushing her to push herself some she'd fit into her box and be pretty happy with it. So November to January were lots of discussions on what would and would not be acceptable. We created list. We talked about those list. We modified list. We talked more. We talked more. And then we talked more.
Finally in January we got 'The Calendar' that we've posted. Now this was a major change to Sexuaries of the past. In the past we've alternated who was in charge of making the day special. If the day was a bad day then sex might of been mundane at best. This would have a who was in charge, but most of the pre-planning was already done, so even in a bad day everything was there to complete the task and you knew what we were doing. I personally think this calendar was what made this year so successful for us. It took a lot of pressure off of us on a daily basis. Meant even on a crappy day we knew what was going to happen and that we had the supplies already in our bedroom. I'm sure glad our kids don't come in our bedroom. If they ever looked in our 'drawers of toys' they'd die of embarrassment. And if they saw everything we put in there for this month I'm not sure they'd ever look us in the eyes again.
So as you've read, we made it through the month. Not all days were 'successful' in their goal of enjoying something new, but they were all successful in bringing Jackie and I together. Even during the struggles of a massive yeast infection we were able to work through things and have a great time together. Words like compromise and understanding come to mind after those days. The couple swap day that didn't go anything like we expected. The spanking and Dom/sub that when over like lead balloons. We HAD to talk through those to get past them.
But there were other days that we were flying high after our sexual encounter for the day. Sensation, fisting, piercings, and others were high on our list and will go on our 'must try again' list. Jackie really wants a piercing or two. I knew she'd want another tattoo. We're working on fisting her. Now that we've tried she knows how exciting that can be. So her 'box' got bigger this month.
I know there are all kinds of scientific studies that show that after sex couples release chemicals that bring them closer. Well imagine how close you'd get after 28 days of sex. And while we had one couple of friends tell us they didn't understand just going for 28 straight days, they understood it when we explained that it wasn't about the act of sex, it was about EVERYTHING that comes with it. The pillow talking that gets started again. The wanting to be with your partner. The desire to make them as happy as you've been. The open communications. The flattery. The kissing. The simple "I love you" text for no reason other than they came to your mind for that moment during your busy day. For 28 days I didn't have to do anything and I knew I was going to get sex, and yet I was more than happy to help more around the house because I KNEW I didn't have to do anything to get sex.
I remember a self help study a couple of years ago that was popular. In it the goal was to strengthen your marriage. One of the first things it said was someone has to cross the lines in the sand that you 2 have drawn so that the entire fence can come down. Sexuary is all about that. We crossed LOTS of lines this month. Many sections of fence came tumbling down. And WE are a better couple because of it.
This year we went 17 straight days of sex with no breaks and 26 out of 28 days we had sex. That shattered our previous 7 days in a row of sex and 16 days in a month. Shattered them. And on the 2 other days it didn't mean that we didn't snuggle and caress, it was just intimate non sexual days. So all in all 28 straight days. How can that be bad for any relationship?
So what did Sexuary mean to me? It means I fully appreciate my wife for all she does for me. It means I still get excited when I see her. It means that I've had 28 days to show her how much I appreciate all she does for me. It means we've spent 28 nights, laying in our bed talking about sex, life, kids, sex, and anything else that popped up (did I mention sex?) until we drifted to sleep. It meant we rekindled our love for each other. We made ourselves the priority this month.
I know there is no way to keep the every day pace up. I'm almost 50 and damn proud of getting 28 days in. But seriously that pace while great is not sustainable without itself becoming mundane. But it can be a treat once a year for Sexuary. And I truly believe that the other 337 days of the year will be much closer and better for us because of this exercise during Sexuary.
We don't expect everyone is where we are as a couple. But understand we weren't always here either. There were times we fought about sex. Times we definitely weren't talking. Times I wasn't sure this marriage was going to last, no matter how much we wanted it to. Times were intimacy, communications, and sex were not in our couples vocabulary. And we've gone from that to a month of it. So I don't care if it's been 3 months since the last time you were intimate with your partner or 3 days, there is hope, I know because we're proof. But someone has to take that first step. Something has to change. Priorities to your relationships have to change. And honestly it's not easy. But the rewards are great.
So on this, the last official day of Sexuary 2013 I have a challenge to you. If you haven't done anything this month that is out of your box do it. Call your partner and tell them you love them and hang up...that's it nothing else. Or meet them at the door naked. Or if the kids are an issue, after they are in bed go put on something that makes you feel as sexy as he thinks you are and be waiting on the bed for him. Text him to come find you. Send her flowers just because you love her. Wash the dishes tonight or help dry them. Instead of rolling over in bed roll into bed and wrap your arm around your loved one. Get it? DO SOMETHING!
And heaven forbid you let today go by with nothing happening this Sexuary...don't wait another 11 months for Sexuary to come back around....take tomorrow and start your own Sexuary! Sexuary is a state of mind. It's a matter of making a difference in your relationship.
It's part of the reason this blog isn't over with. Oh the intensity of it will definitely die down some. But we still have a list of fetishes we haven't tried. We have another list of 'OMG we have to do that again' fetishes. We have some that were borderline we have to go decide which side of the fence will they fall on. And who knows as we grow we might go revisit some of those we weren't ready for the first time. So keep following.
You want to help us out some? Let us know if any blog post made a difference for you. Email or comment. We've allowed anonymous comments so you can be honest with us. Let us know that you've done SOMETHING for Sexuary, especially if something you read here pushed you over the edge to make the difference. Let us know if something you read got you so hot and bothered you had to go and surprise your partner. Just let us know, it really is a turn on to us to hear from others that are in our boat of wanting to make their relationships better.
Happy Sexuary to all...and we're already looking forward to 2014!
Dane
Let me start by saying this is year three for Jackie and I to 'celebrate' Sexuary. The first year we wanted to try to have sex 7 straight days. It didn't happen. Then came last year. We were in a better place, but 7 days in a row was a lot to ask still, so we went for every other day on even days. While we didn't exactly succeed we did much better, though by the end we were really struggling. I really mean it was a struggle for us to have sex one more time. ugghhhh
You know we've done a lot of soul searching and working in our marriage over the last 3 or 4 years. We've a lot learned about each other and what makes the other one tick. We've learned to compromise, though as you've read this month we still struggle through some every day issues in communicating those compromises. We have really focused on being better individuals so that we can be a better couple. And we've made time for ourselves as a couple regardless of what 'disaster of the moment' is going on outside of our bedroom door.
I know that sex does not resonate near as high on the 'got to have it' scale for Jackie as it does on mine. Yet I also know that she can get just as excited about it as I can be once we're there. It's getting her out of her head and the other things going on to get her there that is the issue. She's come a long way working on that over the last 3 years. She now realizes how important it is to me to be that intimate with her and has gone out of her way, even when I'm being an ass, to make sure I get that time with her. I know she has to struggle sometimes over that, hell I would.
Jackie says all she ever has to do to get me in the mood is take off her shirt and I'm ready. Makes it difficult at night where we're getting ready for bed, cause I really do find my wife that attractive and that fun to be around. Her kisses will set me off. Her caress will definitely excite me. And just the site of her in the shower gets me excited. She's hot and sexy and she's mine and I love it.
So this year we decided to try a 28 day trek. Not an easy task. We know the Moers and know they had struggles last year with their 31 days. Days they'd of preferred hall sex (you know as you pass each other in the hall you say "fuck you") then to have bedroom sex. And these are people we look up to and respect, so how mere mortals like ourselves going to stand a chance to succeed?
So back in November, yes 3 months before Sexuary started, we started talking about this all. It wasn't all pretty. My 'box' of what I'm willing to try is huge compared to the average person. Basically if I haven't tried it and dislike it I'm willing to try it. Don't know if I'll like it, but I'll try it. And there are things I'll try just because the other person I'm with wants to try. VERY few hard limits. Jackies box is more of a 'normal' box. Don't get me wrong, she tried a lot of things this month not in her box, but I know she struggled with several of them, but if it weren't for me pushing her to push herself some she'd fit into her box and be pretty happy with it. So November to January were lots of discussions on what would and would not be acceptable. We created list. We talked about those list. We modified list. We talked more. We talked more. And then we talked more.
Finally in January we got 'The Calendar' that we've posted. Now this was a major change to Sexuaries of the past. In the past we've alternated who was in charge of making the day special. If the day was a bad day then sex might of been mundane at best. This would have a who was in charge, but most of the pre-planning was already done, so even in a bad day everything was there to complete the task and you knew what we were doing. I personally think this calendar was what made this year so successful for us. It took a lot of pressure off of us on a daily basis. Meant even on a crappy day we knew what was going to happen and that we had the supplies already in our bedroom. I'm sure glad our kids don't come in our bedroom. If they ever looked in our 'drawers of toys' they'd die of embarrassment. And if they saw everything we put in there for this month I'm not sure they'd ever look us in the eyes again.
So as you've read, we made it through the month. Not all days were 'successful' in their goal of enjoying something new, but they were all successful in bringing Jackie and I together. Even during the struggles of a massive yeast infection we were able to work through things and have a great time together. Words like compromise and understanding come to mind after those days. The couple swap day that didn't go anything like we expected. The spanking and Dom/sub that when over like lead balloons. We HAD to talk through those to get past them.
But there were other days that we were flying high after our sexual encounter for the day. Sensation, fisting, piercings, and others were high on our list and will go on our 'must try again' list. Jackie really wants a piercing or two. I knew she'd want another tattoo. We're working on fisting her. Now that we've tried she knows how exciting that can be. So her 'box' got bigger this month.
I know there are all kinds of scientific studies that show that after sex couples release chemicals that bring them closer. Well imagine how close you'd get after 28 days of sex. And while we had one couple of friends tell us they didn't understand just going for 28 straight days, they understood it when we explained that it wasn't about the act of sex, it was about EVERYTHING that comes with it. The pillow talking that gets started again. The wanting to be with your partner. The desire to make them as happy as you've been. The open communications. The flattery. The kissing. The simple "I love you" text for no reason other than they came to your mind for that moment during your busy day. For 28 days I didn't have to do anything and I knew I was going to get sex, and yet I was more than happy to help more around the house because I KNEW I didn't have to do anything to get sex.
I remember a self help study a couple of years ago that was popular. In it the goal was to strengthen your marriage. One of the first things it said was someone has to cross the lines in the sand that you 2 have drawn so that the entire fence can come down. Sexuary is all about that. We crossed LOTS of lines this month. Many sections of fence came tumbling down. And WE are a better couple because of it.
This year we went 17 straight days of sex with no breaks and 26 out of 28 days we had sex. That shattered our previous 7 days in a row of sex and 16 days in a month. Shattered them. And on the 2 other days it didn't mean that we didn't snuggle and caress, it was just intimate non sexual days. So all in all 28 straight days. How can that be bad for any relationship?
So what did Sexuary mean to me? It means I fully appreciate my wife for all she does for me. It means I still get excited when I see her. It means that I've had 28 days to show her how much I appreciate all she does for me. It means we've spent 28 nights, laying in our bed talking about sex, life, kids, sex, and anything else that popped up (did I mention sex?) until we drifted to sleep. It meant we rekindled our love for each other. We made ourselves the priority this month.
I know there is no way to keep the every day pace up. I'm almost 50 and damn proud of getting 28 days in. But seriously that pace while great is not sustainable without itself becoming mundane. But it can be a treat once a year for Sexuary. And I truly believe that the other 337 days of the year will be much closer and better for us because of this exercise during Sexuary.
We don't expect everyone is where we are as a couple. But understand we weren't always here either. There were times we fought about sex. Times we definitely weren't talking. Times I wasn't sure this marriage was going to last, no matter how much we wanted it to. Times were intimacy, communications, and sex were not in our couples vocabulary. And we've gone from that to a month of it. So I don't care if it's been 3 months since the last time you were intimate with your partner or 3 days, there is hope, I know because we're proof. But someone has to take that first step. Something has to change. Priorities to your relationships have to change. And honestly it's not easy. But the rewards are great.
So on this, the last official day of Sexuary 2013 I have a challenge to you. If you haven't done anything this month that is out of your box do it. Call your partner and tell them you love them and hang up...that's it nothing else. Or meet them at the door naked. Or if the kids are an issue, after they are in bed go put on something that makes you feel as sexy as he thinks you are and be waiting on the bed for him. Text him to come find you. Send her flowers just because you love her. Wash the dishes tonight or help dry them. Instead of rolling over in bed roll into bed and wrap your arm around your loved one. Get it? DO SOMETHING!
And heaven forbid you let today go by with nothing happening this Sexuary...don't wait another 11 months for Sexuary to come back around....take tomorrow and start your own Sexuary! Sexuary is a state of mind. It's a matter of making a difference in your relationship.
It's part of the reason this blog isn't over with. Oh the intensity of it will definitely die down some. But we still have a list of fetishes we haven't tried. We have another list of 'OMG we have to do that again' fetishes. We have some that were borderline we have to go decide which side of the fence will they fall on. And who knows as we grow we might go revisit some of those we weren't ready for the first time. So keep following.
You want to help us out some? Let us know if any blog post made a difference for you. Email or comment. We've allowed anonymous comments so you can be honest with us. Let us know that you've done SOMETHING for Sexuary, especially if something you read here pushed you over the edge to make the difference. Let us know if something you read got you so hot and bothered you had to go and surprise your partner. Just let us know, it really is a turn on to us to hear from others that are in our boat of wanting to make their relationships better.
Happy Sexuary to all...and we're already looking forward to 2014!
Dane
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